This is by far the worst "Where Does He Find Them?" selection ever. Honestly, this is a crime against humanity. I am offering 5000 days off purgatory to anybody who gets all the way through it. Not just because the record is so bad but because, as a decent sort of person, you will be determined not to laugh due to the subject matter of the song. You will find this very difficult indeed. I have to admit that, to my eternal shame, I sniggered. My suggestion is that you let the tears of despair flow which will hopefully drown any desire on your part to burst into crazed laughter.



  1. I made it!!! I didn’t laugh, I didn’t cry, but I did wonder if he was playing the guitar and singing. No one who sings like that should be allowed to sing inside a studio.

  2. Justin Bieber needs to record this (y’know, since he said that if Anne Frank were alive today, she’d be a “Belieber” }-X)

  3. I made it, and, because he was in the same room and didn’t have the sense to run away, so did mi esposo. We’ll take our days please. And I laughed at the first singing of her name! That voice…

  4. Gimme my 5000 days off in Purgatory! I believe that this song is a perfect illustration of the evils of programs such as Garage Band.

    • I fear there is something even more sinister than garage band going on here. I think it may well be a neo-nazi plot to make us all feel less sympathetic towards Anne Frank. I have to admit, from now on, every time I hear her name, I am going to think about this goddamn awful record. In my case they have succeeded in their evil plan. You may certainly have the 5000 days off purgatory which will go some way towards getting you off the damnation hook for leaving the poor, lovely Mona all on her own whilst you went off enjoying yourself.

    • So does your reply to the good faddah mean the rest of us are left without and condemned to weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth in the utter darkness?

    • You automatically get the reward if you complete the task. But, being a very naughty boy, El Padre likes the extra reassurance that my personal absolution gives him.