In a blatant display of religious gunboat diplomacy the Vatican has announced that it will be taking over the government of The Philippines unless all the (supposedly independent) nation's current MPs agree  to do exactly as they are told to do by the Pope's enforcers now ensconced in their country.


Catholic bishops in the Philippines vowed Tuesday to vigorously campaign against politicians who ignored their “moral” teachings, after the church failed to stop the passage of the reproductive health law. The powerful Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) said it had decided to target suspect politicians in mid-term elections in May, when thousands of posts from the local village level to congress will be contested. In a statement following their annual plenary, the bishops said they would demand politicians publicly voice their views on critical social issues, ranging from same-sex marriage and divorce to contraceptives and corruption.

We will force them to walk the talk and state their positions on the moral stance of the church, as well as their convictions on how they will run the country,” said Francis Lucas, who heads the group’s media unit.

The stormtroopers of the Vatican do not appear to want to learn the lessons of their empire building past. A recent attempt to take over the legislature of the United States of America by blackmail and bribery failed miserably when their foot soldiers (the Catholic laity) mutinied on mass and joined the freedom loving American, electoral army. I think it very likely that the Filipinos, now that they have tasted enlightenment and freedom, will not be eager to return to the virtual theocracy that they have had to endure for so many years. If not, I suggest we ask the French to go in. They have proved themselves well capable of kicking the butt of puritanical fundies, intent on getting everybody to serve their malicious god and be miserable.



  1. If there’s anything Filipinos are familiar with, it’s invaders who come. And, invariably, GO. Sic Semper Tyrannus!