1. Madame Tussaud’s new exhibition “People who Look More Alive in Wax than in Person” opened to a crowd of 4, twice what was expected.

    Dogs, ya know we like to bite!

  2. {ABC and Prince make mindless small-talk}

    ABC thought-bubble: “I can’t believe his imperialist institution—English DIE!—is going to outlive mine!”

    Prince thought-bubble: “While they dilly-dally over Babelicious Bishops, I’ve got a Babelicious Granddaughter-in-Law—OF COURSE we’re going to outlive them!”

  3. “Everyone at Lambeth just loves you on ‘The Simpsons,’ Mr. Burns!”

  4. “No, sir, we’re actually allowed by law to speak Welsh, now.”

    “Devil you say! Well, suppose you lot have to have some sort of sop for being so easily conquered!”