NUMBER ONE: Buy yourself a fish and chip shop in north west London.
From CHRISTIAN TODAY:
The Catholic Church in England and Wales is to reintroduce the practice of abstaining from meat on Fridays. Although traditional, the practice became less common after the Church relaxed rules on how the day could be observed in 1984, and is nowadays practised by most only on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday.
Now the Church is keen to reintroduce the rule to help unify the faithful and boost their common identity. Church head Archbishop Vincent Nichols said the decision had been inspired by Pope Benedict XVI’s visit to Britain last September (evidently his visit put a lot of people off their food) and the enthusiasm showed for abstaining from meat during Lent (otherwise known as being out of work and broke due to the current recession).
Vegetarian Catholics are being encouraged to give up another food on Fridays instead.
NUMBER TWO: The BBC has been showing films about Iceland all week. Loads of stuff about volcanoes and Viking sagas, it's all been great fun. It has also given me a great idea for a "long term" investment opportunity.
If you were to buy a small piece of Icelandic real estate, possibly no more than 4ft. by 4ft., making sure that the middle of it was on the fault line between the American continental plate and the European continental plate, in just 20 million years or so, your piece of land will stretch to about 4000 miles in length. You will then be able to insist that you are paid enormous amounts of money by people who want to build roads, pipelines, cables etc. across it.