My trip to Limerick for an interview the other month cost me nearly £700. I sent in an expenses claim for about £640, not expecting to get full recompense. However, as I am unemployed, I was hoping for slightly more than what they eventually sent me. After reminding them by email midweek I got this scrap of paper and a cheque for a measly £209.

I love this "It's the maximum permitted" gambit. Perhaps I could try that on next time I'm in the supermarket. I could fill my trolley with £100 of food and tell them I'm only giving them £30 because that's the maximum permitted under the Jonathan Hagger Financial Scheme.

This is the church that pays it's parish clergy 12000 euros a year just for car expenses (on top of a 45000 euro salary), so they are hardly strapped for cash.

Also, the bishop told me they would pay for my expenses when he first rang to ask me to go over there for the interview. And he definitely didn't mention any limit.

The job went, in the end, to a vicar from their twin diocese in Africa. My inside source in the Church of Ireland tells me that this was a foregone conclusion. So basically the Bride of Christ continues to kick me even though I am down.

I hate them and I hate their fucking church. And to be honest, if they were made in the image of their god, I don't think I particularly like what must be an incredibly mean spirited maker either.



  1. There’s only one good Limerick and that’s one written by me!

    To Ireland the Mad One did tour
    Urged on by their Bishop’s manure
    “We’ve got a good job!”
    ‘Stead it cost him a bob
    Aye, a good job on him, that’s for sure!

  2. HAhahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Oh, even for a believer in someone invisible, this is rich!!!!!!!!
    Did your parents raise you to believe in ghosts and fairies or was this your idea to work for someone you could never meet and whose “servants” are mostly closet cases and old trouts?

  3. See, it seems to ME that what is going on here (in part) is that the PC brigade has taken over, and that’s why churches are bringing in people who are “exotic” and not from their local area. So all you’d have to do, MP, is find somewhere where an Englishman would be “exotic” and you’ve got it nailed.

    It’s kinda like what Joe has often thought…he’d be “exotic” in, say, Australia because he’s American and supposedly in any country other than the US an American accent is considered hot & sexy.

    OK yes, it’s a crazy thought.

  4. They obviously lied to u about the stipend and locomotary expenses, cos I don’t get anywhere near that! If u want to know about terms and conditions in the C of I, next time ask one of their serving priests!

  5. I notice your address is Belfast, Nigel. I expect you get screwed like the rest of us British.

    But, believe me, Nigel, these are the correct figures. They were given to me in writing by a serving parish priest in Limerick Diocese. And there are generous office expenses on top of this and you get to keep a lot of the occasional service fees. Plus they pay water rates and the like.

    Perhaps you should do some research on behalf of the Northern C. of. I. priests. If I could cause some major bad feeling in your church I will be well pleased. My sacrifice will not have been in vain.

  6. Just for the record – I think that your expenses recompense sucks, and what sucks even more is that there’s probably very little u can do about it. But do write to the Bishop and complain. He’s a pretty decent guy and should take action on it

  7. I second the suggestion that you write to the Bishop concerned. If the promise of expenses was made, without limit, then they are morally if not legally bound to pay up.