Of Course, I Could be Wrong

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When Riots Lose Cred

No matter how just their cause, once rioters start looting they lose the moral high ground. Think of the worst injustice that you could be subjected to and ask yourself, would it make me want to break into the local electrical goods store and steal a television? It might make you want to kill somebody but casual theft? I don’t think so.

Passing Thoughts Of A Mad Priest

Christians are reborn without guilt but everywhere
they are going on about how guilty they are.

There is something in the way that liberal-minded Christians respond to an injustice that makes it all about them rather than about the victims themselves. I want to slap them around the face and tell them to get over themselves and do something practical to help.

Holy Communion For Pentecost

Welcome to Saint Laika’s Holy Communion podcast for the Feast of Pentecost 2020. As always there is plenty of good music from all over the shop as well as all the usual liturgical stuff. Everybody is invited to join in, there are no exceptions. If you wish to take communion you will need, of course, to provide your own bread and wine.

CLICK HERE for the order of service and details of the music played.

Passing Thoughts Of A Mad Priest

I think there is a very good chance, should the truth ever be told, that the reason why the U.K. has the highest COVID-19 death rate per capita in the world will be that a certain Durham visiting, psychopathic, political svengali got it into his head (and the head of Boris Johnson) that the death of thousands of negative contributors to the economy would be a small price to pay for keeping the wheels of commerce turning unhindered by lockdowns.

Cummings Without Goings

When it is stated that the Conservative Party has it in for the BBC what is meant is that Dominic Cummings has it in for the BBC. The corporation is petrified of Cummings and so they should be. He is unelected, unaccountable and single-handedly running the country at the moment.

I recommend the “Rasputin Solution.”

News Just In

In the UK, the public rolling-out of a coronavirus contact tracing app has been delayed until one can be developed that has a wide enough geographical range to cope with Dominic Cummings and his family.

The New Normal And The Law

So, the UK government is going to “look at” rescinding the fines of all those who have been done by the police for doing what Dominic Cummings did.

A lot of people in prison must be really hoping that someone spots Cummings selling drugs, robbing a convenience store or beating someone up in a drunken brawl.

A Pointless Anniversary

On this day, ten years ago, I lost my job. I was a parish priest but I was constructively dismissed for suffering from depression. I have not worked since.

As Harry Nilsson once said, “If it hasn’t got a point there is no point to it.”

Embracing The Simpler Life

Forgive the virtue signalling but this is an interesting observation.

Since the beginning of the lockdown, I have found it increasingly difficult to spend money on stuff I don’t need. It’s not that I normally spend a lot on luxuries as I don’t have much of an income. But I would occasionally buy a record or an item of clothing that wasn’t really necessary. Now, I just can’t be bothered. It’s not in any way a moral decision on my part. It’s just that a lot of things just don’t seem essential anymore. The one exception to this is food. We have been buying much better quality groceries than we normally do as we are not spending out on fuel and entertainment.

They Do Not Care, They Only Say They Do

We are reaching the end of Mental Health Awareness Week. The Church of England is plugging an online service it has put together for Sunday in which it will say all the right things about helping people with mental health problems. But it will be just talk to make the Church look caring and of use. I was sacked by my bishop for suffering from depression after ten years of being on the receiving end of the most horrible and deliberate bigotry and mistreatment. I have now been unemployed for ten years. If anybody with authority in the Church of England actually cared then someone would have helped me return to and pursue my calling during that time. But not one of them has. They are all hypocrites.

I have told two of the people involved in the service what I think about their role in the travesty but they just replied with platitudes about God’s blessing and how awful it must be for me. They do not intend to do anything concrete about the injustice that was doled out on me and many other priests who dared to show weakness through mental illness.

Here is My story.

I was ordained into the diaconate of the Church of England in the diocese of Newcastle back in 1995. A year later I was ordained into the priesthood. My first curacy was in the parish of Newsham, near Blythe in Northumberland. Although I did not know it when I accepted the post, the vicar, Richard Pringle, was a bully of a man, very unpredictable in his behaviour. He would shout at me in front of the congregation and would physically push me around during services. However, it was his inappropriate behaviour around children and young people that was most disturbing. He would take every opportunity to touch and hug them and would even encourage them to sit on his lap. He had no friends his own age (early forties) and hung around the clubs in town that were frequented by teenagers. His conversations with children and young people could be very suggestive. Once, at coffee after the Sunday morning service, a boy and a girl (aged about fourteen I would guess) were sitting on the front of the stage in the hall, giggling and pushing into each other gently with their shoulders (harmless flirtation).

Pringle walked up to them and said out loud, “If anyone is going to give (girl’s name) a medical examination, it is going to be me.”

That made me shudder but things were to get worse. A mother from the congregation approached me and informed me that Pringle had taken her teenage son to a sauna and photographed him in the nude.

The diocese was in interregnum at the time so I immediately reported the incident to the archdeacon, Peter Elliott. He told me that he would have a word with Pringle. I do not know if he did but one thing is for certain, as I found out later, nobody else was informed and no action was taken.

I should have known that Elliott would not be interested enough in the situation to do anything about it because when I mentioned to him during the interview that Pringle always holidayed in places notable for providing easy sexual access to young males he replied, “I don’t care what Richard Pringle gets up to as long as he doesn’t do anything wrong on my patch.”

Although I was removed from the parish and placed with a vicar, Michael Webb, who was as different from Richard Pringle as you could possibly get and who was an excellent training incumbent, my bad experience as Pringle’s curate led to me experiencing bouts of severe, clinical depression. I struggled on and even managed to gain a first incumbency as the priest in charge of a couple of small parishes on the Northumberland coast. Unfortunately, not long after taking up the post I became so poorly with depression and anxiety that I needed to be hospitalised on various occasions for periods of up to three months. I was off work for over a year.

During the two years of my illness the new bishop, Martin Wharton, came to visit me once and none of my colleagues stayed in touch with me. It was at this point that I started to realise that I would be a social leper because of my illness for the rest of my life.

I later asked Wharton why he had only visited me the once and he replied, “You are not my only priest, Jonathan.”

With the help of an occupational therapist, I worked hard on my recovery (only those who have suffered from severe depression will know how painful and arduous dragging oneself out of the depths of the illness can be) and eventually I was ready to return to work. The bishop sent Richard Langley, the archdeacon of Lindisfarne, to see me. He asked me what I wanted to do and I told him that I would like to return to work, looking after just one of the two parishes to begin with, with the intention of being responsible for both parishes in the near future. Langley told me that would not be possible and that the bishop wanted me to retire. If the Church had not been exempt from employment law (an exemption granted to them by the government to allow them to continue to discriminate against women and gay people) the diocese would have had to, by law, agree to my request for a phased return to work.

Upset at this I arranged to see Martin Wharton at his office. He reiterated the archdeacon’s demands stating that he did not believe a priest who had suffered from mental health problems should ever be allowed to be a parish priest. I argued with him and told him that he had a duty of Christian care but he was far more worried about how much it would cost to keep me employed than he was about my welfare. He told me he would think about it.

A couple of weeks later I received a letter from his office stating that I would be demoted to assistant curate and placed in the parish of St. Francis, High Heaton, Newcastle. Furthermore, I had to report regularly to work consultants and counsellors who were appointed by Wharton and to whom they had to report (there was absolutely no confidentiality). I also had to undergo annual work assessments that were far more intrusive and aggressive than those every other priest had to endure (they even included a lay Christian, who just happened to be a doctor appointed by Wharton). Worst of all I was placed on a two-year contract with the possibility of being dismissed immediately on the bishop’s whim.

I got on with my job and, because the incumbent was reluctant to visit people or go into hospitals (something I feel honoured to do), I was quite well-liked by the congregation. At the end of the two years, I had to fight for my job again as Wharton was still determined to get me off the books. My contract was extended for a further two years with the same draconian conditions.

At the end of this second period of employment, I received a letter from Wharton stating that my contract would not be extended. I wrote back saying that it was against the law of the land to sack an employee who was officially disabled for being disabled. Wharton obviously did not believe that I was disabled as he then sent me to a private psychiatrist to be assessed. I do not know what Wharton expected but I guess it was not what happened. The psychiatrist reported back that I was officially disabled. He also stated that I was perfectly capable of being a parish priest. In fact, he said that although I was slightly “eccentric” I would make an excellent parish priest (I still have a copy of his report should my honesty on this matter ever be challenged). The bishop then deigned to give me a one year contract.

I worked for a further three years, the last couple of years being without any contract whatsoever, although I still received my wages at the end of each month. Eventually, the vicar of Saint Francis’ decided to move on and Wharton used this as an opportunity to get rid of me for good.

I would point out that during the eight years that I was at the church of Saint Francis I did not have a single day off because of any illness, mental or physical.

When a vicar leaves his post and the parish moves into an interregnum it is the local area dean who becomes responsible for the services of the parish. In our case, the area dean, Kevin Hunt, passed the responsibility for the services to the two lay readers and myself. Now, I am not one for being in charge and I prefer to work collaboratively. However, I do like the services I preside at to be well put together and coherent. So, I immediately went to the choirmaster and organist and asked them to join with me to choose the hymns each week. The following week they came back to me and told me that they alone would choose the hymns (which is never their responsibility, I was, in fact, being far more inclusive than I had to be, mainly because I like working with others rather than on my own). When I replied that this would not be possible the organist, the choirmaster and choir went on strike.

The bishop told me that I had to leave the sorting out of the situation to the churchwardens. The archdeacon, Geoff Miller, told me I was not to discuss the matter with anyone. I completely obeyed both these directions even though no such rules applied to the organist or choir. A rumour started, which Miller chose to believe even after I had told him it was not true, that I had shouted at the organist. But neither of us had exchanged cross words with each other. Kevin Hunt came to a parish meeting but he refused to say that the choir was in the wrong as far as church law was concerned and that he had handed responsibility for the content of the services to the lay readers and myself. It was a nightmare. Nobody would stand up for me except the lay readers. It was as if the whole thing had been contrived to bring me down and it succeeded in doing just that. Bishop Martin Wharton fired me and evicted my wife and myself from my clergy house, our only home. In May 2010 I presided at my last holy communion at Saint Francis’ and I have not worked since.

I moved into Durham diocese hoping for a fresh start but nobody will help me. Justin Welby was both insulting and aggressive towards me once he had spoken to Bishop Wharton (Welby had been quite supportive up until that point) and the new bishop won’t speak to me and did not respond to my request to meet him. The archdeacons refuse to answer my emails or acknowledge job applications that I put in. The area dean of the church in Durham that I was worshipping at refused to allow me to join the chapter. A person who I thought was a friend chose preferment to remaining my friend (that hurt). Kevin Hunt, who used to meet up with me for a drink once a month, made excuses not to see me again when he was promoted to the post of residentiary canon of Newcastle Cathedral (that really hurt and led me to believe that all those years he was just spying on me for the bishop). I have been almost completely cut off from the diocese. An email to the new Bishop of Newcastle, Christine Hardman, telling her of my ordeal under her predecessor and asking for help, elicited no response. The bishop of Glasgow, Gregor Duncan, wrote to me after I had driven all the way to his city to ask him for help, to tell me I would not be welcome in his diocese because I would “bring too much baggage with me.” No colleague, bar Jenny Lancaster, a female priest from the church I worked in under the vicar, Michael Webb, have kept in touch with me. No bishop or archdeacon in the Church of England, although many know of me, my situation and my requests for assistance, have come forward with offers of help.

Of course, I am not the only priest who has been “disappeared” by his diocesan bishop following a bout of mental illness. I know of many myself. But I am one of the few who have stood up to the abuse and shouted about it publicly. My blog, “Of Course, I Could Be Wrong…” (which I started up after five years of enduring Martin Wharton’s prejudice) shouted very loudly about the Church of England’s discrimination against the disabled, gays, women and anybody else who are not the “right sort of people.” I am sure that my style of open blogging has made me even more unpopular within the Church. On the other hand, my blogging helped me remain relatively sane and introduced me to many people (albeit mostly living on the other side of the world) who do as Jesus would do rather than as the CEO of a banking concern would do. I have somehow managed to maintain a priestly ministry on the internet without the support of the church which ordained me.

Basically, I appear to be an embarrassment because I am a person who has mental health problems. Certainly, I have not received anything like the care, accommodation and understanding that I would have been legally entitled to if I had been working for a secular employer.

Holy Communion For Ascension Day, 2020

Welcome to Saint Laika’s Holy Communion podcast for Ascension Day, 2020. As always there is plenty of good music from all over the shop as well as all the usual liturgical stuff. Everybody is invited to join in, there are no exceptions. If you wish to take communion you will need, of course, to provide your own bread and wine.

Crazy Baldheads

In Myanmar, Scuffles broke out outside a monastery where hardline Buddhists yesterday gathered to seek mob justice against a man whose sharp-tongued criticism was deemed an insult to the religion. Hundreds gathered outside a monastery in Meiktila to take matters into their own hands two days after Kyaw Win Thant, a thirty-one-year-old doctor, faulted conservative Buddhist monks online for opposing a new senior school sex education program.

He had written, “The baldies do not know about sex education because they were never taught before. But they watch so much porn. The baldies are the most horny.”

He said monks from a local monastery in Meiktila watch porn, go to brothels and place bets on soccer matches. He also complained in one comment that monks and soldiers do not contribute to society.

“These strong men do not do any fucking work or do not pay fucking taxes. Soldiers and monks are exploiting our hard-earned money,” he insisted.

Screenshots of his post along with his personal photos were posted several times by Buddhists calling for retaliation.

Kyaw Win Thant is in police custody and has been charged with blasphemy. He has apologised to the monks.

Bad-Mannered Jews Cause Coronavirus Outbreak

So, COVID-19 is not due to poor health and safety at a Wuhan wet market or Chinese germ warfare or even the goings-on of the usual suspects, teh gays; it transpires it is all the fault of Jews on phones.

Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky, the most senior non-Hassidic, ultra-Orthodox rabbi in the world, has said that Jews have been “banished” from synagogues by the COVID-19 pandemic due to the offence given to God by using cell phones in synagogues.

Addressing all synagogue administrators in general, Kanievsky wrote that “For our many sins it has been many weeks since we were banished from our synagogues and study halls, like a servant who came to pour wine for his master and the master poured the jug on his face. It appears that this is a sign from Heaven for the sin in which the sanctity of synagogues has been cheapened by having cell phones open and speaking on them while people are praying, and this is great disrespect for prayer and the sanctity of synagogues and is in total opposition to Jewish law.”

Kanievsky said that synagogue administrators should therefore completely ban people from praying in synagogues while their phones are turned on and that they should ensure that there is a cupboard or other storage facility outside of the prayer hall for worshippers to deposit their cell phones.

Buddhist Officials Jailed For Embezzlement

In Thailand, five former National Office of Buddhism officials, a former director, an official and three academics, have been found guilty of stealing twenty-one million baht (about six hundred and sixty thousand U.S. dollars) from the organisation back in 2015. The Central Criminal Court for Corruption and Misconduct Cases convicted the five of embezzlement and sentenced them to prison. They are also required to repay twenty-one million baht to the NOB.

At the same time, the court handed suspended sentences to two former monks found guilty of six counts of money laundering at the Wat Sa Ket temple in Bangkok. The court found the duo guilty of approving fourteen million two hundred thousand baht in cash transfers from the temple’s account from March to December in 2015.

In Northern Ireland, a Roman Catholic priest was left red-faced at the weekend when he accidentally played the intro to loyalist song “The Sash My Father Wore” during Sunday morning Mass.

The incident happened at the end of the 11.30am service at Holy Cross Catholic Church in Lisnaskea where Father Jimmy McPhillips was livestreaming to members of his congregation. The parish priest could be seen using a device to line-up the music, but immediately looked confused when the famous Orange Order song began playing.

So sure I’m an Ulster Orangeman, from Erin’s isle I came,
to see my British brethren all of honour and of fame,
and to tell them of my forefathers who fought in days of yore,
that I might have the right to wear the sash my father wore.

Unfazed, the priest quickly restored order and played the track he had originally intended to, “Footprints In The Sand” by Leona Lewis.

Coronavirus Falls From Sky

A hailstorm in Montemorelos in the state of Nuevo Leon, Mexico, has left citizens in utter shock. Images shared on social media show large hailstones that were round with icy spikes, with a likeness to the COVID-19 virus.

According to reports, the incident was interpreted by locals as an “act of God”. However, I doubt this is true as handmaking customised hailstones such as these is fiddly and time-consuming. God is too busy at the moment inventing miracle cures for TV evangelists to sell to waste his time on such meteorological frippery.

My guess is that these hailstones are the work of fallen angels who have time on their hands due to social distancing regulations putting a halt to their demonic possession activities.

Washing Underpants Is The Way To A Happy Marriage

In Ghana, the lead singer of the renowned Gospel group, Daughters of Glorious Jesus, Cynthia Agyare Appeadu, has disclosed that in her home, she performs all her duties as a wife, including washing her husband’s underwear. She revealed that when she is in her matrimonial home, there is no such thing as her husband being suppressed because she is a celebrity.

Speaking for herself and her sisters, Mrs Appeadu said, “When we are home, we are wives. We put the celebrity life aside and perform our marital duties. If you come to my house, I do everything. Since my husband and I got married till date, I have been washing his singlets, boxers and all his underwear.”

Cynthia insists that in their matrimonial homes, celebrities must perform their responsibilities as wives and by so doing, there will be no problems in the marriage.

Pastor Who Laid Hands On COVID-19 Sufferers Is Dead

In Cameroon, a pastor who laid his hands on dozens of confirmed and suspected coronavirus sufferers died of the illness on Saturday. Frankline Ndifor claimed that he could cure people suffering from Covid-19.

When medical staff tried to remove his body from his home they were prevented from doing so for eight hours when supporters of the pastor blocked the entrance to his home, claiming he was on a spiritual retreat with God and so could not be buried.

Follower Rigobert Che said, “Now that he is dead, I do not know how the people that he was laying hands on will be healed.”

An Embarrassing Fact

The population of the U.S.A. is about five times that of the U.K. but the number of deaths from coronavirus in the States is only twice as many as the number of deaths from coronavirus in the U.K.

It appears that Donald Trump is doing a far better job of dealing with the crisis than Boris Johnson is.

Let’s Cut Out The Fat Cat Middleman

Here’s the thing.

It took the authorities just a few weeks to get a whole load of emergency hospitals up and running from scratch.

It is going to take a year or so to get a vaccine to the point of mass production.

The vaccine will be developed at university research facilities using public money but will be manufactured by American big pharma who will nab most of it for the USA and charge the rest of us, including third world countries, big bucks to buy it from them.

So, if we can get hospitals running in just days why don’t we spend the year we are waiting for the vaccine to be tested, building public facilities throughout the world ready to manufacture the vaccine and then give it to the world at cost or for free even.

For the record, volunteers who were given an Oxford University developed proto-vaccine have developed antibodies that will protect them from catching COVID-19.

A married vicar has moved his churchwarden lover into his marital home alongside his wife and mum. The Reverend Bob Wiltshire split from his wife, Sue, after forty years to live with married nurse Lucy Baker. But when the lockdown was imposed weeks later, the runaway pair persuaded Sue to let them leave the holiday chalet where they were staying and move in with her.

Mrs Wiltshire is living in the main house with Mr Wiltshire’s mum while he and his mistress are living in the annexe, separated by just an internal door.

A friend said, “When lockdown hit and he had nowhere to go, he moved his mum out of the annexe so he and Lucy could have it. He thought he would be able to get his wife and mum out of the house but they refused. His wife is furious.”

Man Who Would Never Cause Harm Causes Harm

In California, a Butte County pastor who defied public health officials and held an in-person Mother’s Day service that potentially exposed one hundred and eighty congregants to the coronavirus has spoken out about his decision on social media.

In a Facebook post on Friday, pastor Mike Jacobsen of Palermo Bible Family Church said that an asymptomatic congregant who attended the eleventh of May service woke up the next morning “needing medical attention” and was tested for the coronavirus that day. The congregant received positive test results for COVID-19 two days later.

Jacobsen, who with his wife has led the pentecostal church since 2008, said in the post that he would “never with knowledge put anyone in harm’s way.”

Worshippers Come To Blows Over Status Of Imam

Eight people were injured last Friday in a clash between members of two Islamic sects over the Imamship of Okene Central Mosque in Kogi State, Nigeria. It was a spillover of the lingering crises between Tijaniyya and Sunni sects over who becomes the chief imam following the demise of the former occupant in 2019.

The trouble started a few minutes into the sermon when a Sunni member referred to Sheik Salihu Abere, who has been superintending over the mosque as “the acting chief imam.” This statement infuriated a member of Tijaniyya group who demanded an apology from the Sunni member for being rude to the chief imam. With none forthcoming, there followed a free-for-all fight with many of the faithful scampering for safety. The mayhem lasted for more than an hour before police intervened.

A civil servant, Malam Abdulsalam Mohammed Bashir who spoke to journalists on the matter described it as an unfortunate and sad development.

Passing Thoughts Of A Mad Priest ( in the time of coronavirus )

The reason why there will an economic depression and massive unemployment after this short interruption to the business of making money is that most of the world’s wealth is in the pockets of just a few people and they have no intention of giving it up to help other human beings. If the money that sits in the bank accounts of the rich sat, instead, in the bank accounts of our nations, then we could have used it to deal with the pandemic without there being any disastrous long-term effect. It would have been like a person with money put aside for a rainy day who is unemployed for a short while. On her return to work, that person is poorer but not destitute and not in debt.

After the pandemic is over, nations and individuals will be greatly in debt, even destitute, whilst the wealth of the world remains, mostly untouched, in the bank accounts of the obscenely, wealthy few doing fuck all to help anyone.

Water Pistol Packing Priest Shoots Parishioners

From “The Guardian.”

A Roman Catholic priest in the Detroit area has taken aim at his parishioners in a bid to maintain social distancing during the coronavirus pandemic, using a squirt gun to shoot holy water.

Photos posted on social media by the Saint Ambrose Church show the Reverend Timothy Pelc shooting water into a car window as it stopped by the steps of the church. He wore a mask, face shield and rubber gloves as further precautions against spreading the coronavirus. The photos were taken at Easter.

Reverend Pelc admits that he was a little concerned about how the Vatican might react when the photos of him squirting holy water began circulating widely on the internet.

But, he said, “I haven’t heard anything yet.”

No Oiks Beyond This Point!

Look, it’s very simple. The only reason people who live in beautiful places put up with scum like us visiting their green and pleasant surroundings is that we spend money there. If all we are going to do is walk around admiring the scenery, spending nothing because all the shops and pubs are closed, then we can bloody well “keep orf their land!”

Battle Of The Will

Behaving decently involves a deliberate act of will. In ancient times becoming virtuous was encouraged by philosophers and those who achieved it in spite of themselves were lauded. Nowadays, it is those who are naturally good who are held up to be moral heroes and those who have to intellectually and deliberately decide to do good are regarded as deficient in moral fibre. This is silly. There is no achievement in being good if you are naturally good whilst there is a great achievement in being charitable towards your neighbours when you really want to strangle all of them.

A Reminder For All Time

There are mutterings on the internet tubes that after the pandemic is over, memorials should be built to commemorate those who have died of COVID-19 in the same way memorials are built to commemorate those who have died in times of war. All the names of the coronavirus dead would be engraved on these monuments.

It is an interesting idea and I suggest that the English memorial should be erected in Downing Street. On the top of the monument, there should be a huge carved finger pointing towards the door of number ten.

If The Truth Be Told

I’m feeling really awful. A man from the government says that the British people sacrificed their freedom during the lockdown to protect the National Health Service. The thing is, I did it to protect my wife and myself. However, I’m not going to tell the Minister as it would only upset him and I’m sure most people stayed at home so that the N.H.S. wasn’t overburdened.

The Newer New Normal

I am missing the good old days of the Lockdown; the bird song and no traffic noise, the fresh air and having the field behind the cemetery to ourselves. It’s all getting rather hectic again.

If I was a rich man I would buy an island.

Bishop Accuses Greek Education Minister Of Blasphemy

In Greece, the former bishop of Kalavryta, Bishop Amvrosios has accused Education Minister Niki Kerameus of blasphemy for telling SKAI TV in an interview that science has proven that coronavirus can be transmitted via saliva, making holy communion from the same cup risky. He has given her until the sixteenth of May to publically recant and apologise for her “indescribable crime,” otherwise he says he will excommunicate her from the Greek Orthodox Church.

At the beginning of March, Bishop Amvrosios claimed that all people needed to protect themselves against COVID-19 was a small bottle of holy water which they should spray down their throat and on their skin.

Passing Thoughts Of A Mad Priest ( in the time of coronavirus )

I’m having trouble understanding why anyone is getting worked up about anti-vaxxers saying they are not going to be vaccinated against COVID-19 if a vaccine is developed.

Tell me if I’m wrong, but won’t it be a case of those who get the vaccine will not die of the coronavirus and those who refuse it might die and might pass it on to other people who refuse to be vaccinated who, in turn, might die from it.

I know it’s harsh, but as far as I’m concerned, that’s “problem solved.”

Phoneline To God Cut By Coronavirus Lockdown

In Ghana, the founder and the leader of Healing God Maranatha Prayer Ministry, Odeefour Jeremiah Koduah, is claiming that the closure of churches and mosques in the country has shut the doors to heaven preventing prayers from being heard by God.

He claims the decision to ban religious activities created a space between God and his children and “until we lift the ban, the situation we are trying to resolve will remain the same.”

A cynic might come to the alternative conclusion that the gap he is actually worried about is the one between his bank manager and himself, now the weekly giving in his church has hit the floor.

Police Discover Shamanic Money Laundering Operation

Police in West Java have arrested four people in connection with the possession and transportation of counterfeit Indonesian banknotes worth nearly two hundred thousand dollars. However, police chief Hendria Lesmana believes that the suspects did not intend to distribute the counterfeit money. Instead, they planned to seek out a shaman believed to be able to turn fake money into real money.

Alternative Saint Of The Day

Imelda Lambertini was born in 1322 in Bologna, the only child of Count Egano Lambertini and Castora Galuzzi. Her parents were devout Roman Catholics and were known for their charity and generosity to the underprivileged of Bologna. On her fifth birthday, she requested to receive Holy Eucharist. However, the custom at the time was that children did not receive their first Holy Communion until age fourteen.

At age nine, she went to live with the Dominican nuns at Val di Pietra, near Bologna. Lonely and longing to be fully accepted by the community, Imelda spent her time meditating and reading about the saints. According to legend, Saint Agnes took pity on her and began appearing to Imelda regularly. Since Agnes was martyred at the age of thirteen, the two little girls became close friends and spent most of their time together whispering about heaven

On the twelfth of May, 1333, the day of the vigil of the Ascension, Imelda once again pleaded for the Eucharist, but the officiating priest refused her. Imelda would not take “no” for an answer this time, so she fervently asked Jesus for the grace to receive him. As she knelt in prayer the “Light of the Host” was reportedly witnessed above her head by the Sacristan and within the glow, a eucharistic host appeared. The sacristan fetched the priest so he could see. After seeing this miracle, the priest felt compelled to admit her to receiving the Eucharist. Immediately after receiving it, Lambertini went back to her seat and decided to stay after mass and pray. Later when a nun came to get Lambertini for supper, she found Lambertini still kneeling with a smile on her face. The nun called her name, but she did not stir, so she lightly tapped Imelda on the shoulder, at which Imelda collapsed to the floor dead. Those who tell the story say her heart broke from the greatness of Jesus’ love.

Her body never decomposed and her remains are kept in Bologna at the Church of San Sigismondo, beneath the wax effigy of her likeness.

She is the patron saint of First Communions.

An Important COVID-19 Update

In Japan, a nineteenth century “anti-plague demon” of Japanese folklore has been reborn as a mascot in the fight against the coronavirus. It’s even being used to help sell a new healthy type of vitamin C-laden dessert.

The pet in question: a humanoid fish “yokai” (“demon” or “spirit”) called “Amabie”.

In Japanese folklore, Amabie lives on the Kumamoto coast and often tells humans that see him, “Draw me and show people, so you can be disease-free.”

Amid the coronavirus pandemic, the demon Amabie has appeared across Japan, in many different ways. Amabie has resurfaced as a pet and internet meme used by artists, chefs and even the Japan Ministry of Health as a symbol of hope to fight COVID-19.

Now Amabie is trying to get you to eat a “healthy” pudding from the Japanese company Nakauraya. The pudding is layered with yuzu citrus jelly and is apparently packed with vitamin C. It will barely keep you safe from COVID-19, but it could help prevent a cold.

If you want to find more Japanese demon products, there is also Amabie IPA beer and adorable demon doughnuts.

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