Of Course, I Could be Wrong

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Passing Thoughts Of A Mad Priest

The UK government should have lied about face masks. They should have claimed that they primarily protected the wearer. That way they wouldn’t have had to convince us all that we ought to care about whether other people caught the virus or not. They should have consulted Donald Trump’s scientists. Ours are too damn honest to be of any use.

British Muslims Support Islamisation Of Christian Cathedral

This reader’s poll is being conducted by the 5Pillars website, which is a staunchly independent, quality platform for journalism aimed at British Muslims. The enemy of liberal values is decidedly within and I am certain that within a few decades all the UK’s egalitarian legislation concerning women and LGBT people will be overturned. You see, it is not a matter of Muslims becoming the majority in Britain, it is about Muslims plus the bigoted, misogynist native people of Britain becoming the majority. We are already within a hair’s breadth of that being our reality.

Holy Communion For The Sixth Sunday After Pentecost

Welcome to Saint Laika’s Holy Communion podcast for the twelfth of July, 2020 (a.k.a. the Sixth Sunday after Pentecost or Trinity Five). As always there is plenty of good music from all over the shop as well as all the usual liturgical stuff. Everybody is invited to join in, there are no exceptions. If you wish to take communion you will need, of course, to provide your own bread and wine.

CLICK HERE for the order of service and details of the music played.

A Well-Timed Abomination

I am sure it is just a coincidence that Erdogan announced the Islamisation of Hagia Sophia the day before the twenty-fifth anniversary of the Srebrenica massacre; a day on which nobody in the media or any politician is going to criticise Muslims out of fear of appearing extremely crass. And, of course, by tomorrow it will be old news and forgotten.

The Devil Made Him Do It

Oluwakemi Oyebola, a pastor of the Christ Apostolic Church, was recently arrested in Ogun State, Nigeria, for raping his daughter from when she was nineteen years old and allegedly aborting pregnancies for her on three separate occasions. The forty-four-year-old clergyman claims that having sex with his biological daughter was not intentional.

“I was hit by the devil’s arrow targeted at me by my enemies. I could not fathom how I began having sex with my own daughter. It is a shameful act, I agree. But unlike what was reported in the media, I only began to have sex with her in 2017 and not 2015 as claimed by the police. Also, the abortion I did for her was just once and not thrice. I want to sincerely beg for forgiveness from Nigerians; my action was unheard of, and I seriously regret it,” he said.

News Just In

Following on from yesterday’s shock announcement that Kanye West might stand in the elections for the president of the United States, unreliable sources are now stating that his wife’s celebrity backside is also going to join the race. At this moment in time, it is not known whether the rest of Kim Kardashian’s body will accompany her rear-end to the White House should it win the election. A spokesperson for Mrs Kanye West insisted that she is used to her posterior going off on its own to do its own thing and that although four years would be a long time to live without it, she would survive the separation.

Sources close to the present president, Donald Trump, are saying that their boss is extremely concerned that, as the addition of Kanye West’s name to the ballot paper may well split the Democrat vote, with many Afro-Americans voting for the black man rather than the old, white man, the addition of the Kardashian butt on the paper will lead to the Republican vote being split right down the crack in the middle as well. The worry is that when Republican voters enter the polling stations on election day they will not know which arse to vote for.

Cancel Culture

What is “cancel culture?”

It is a passive-aggressive technique used by people who say they believe in the freedom of speech but who don’t. It has just been deployed on JK Rowling for saying that transgender women are not women. In the old days that would have been regarded as an opinion which you either agreed with or not. You might even have been stirred to put forward a counter-argument. However, in order to save time and so nobody has to think for themselves anymore, nowadays we just shun people who dare to think contrary to the liberal in-crowd and shut them down so that we don’t have to listen to their unsettling ideas. Personally, I think it is the most dangerous cultural trend at this moment in time. What if those we oppose started to use it?

Holy Communion For The Fifth Sunday After Pentecost



Welcome to Saint Laika’s Holy Communion podcast for the fifth of July, 2020 (a.k.a. the Fifth Sunday after Pentecost or Trinity Four). As always there is plenty of good music from all over the shop as well as all the usual liturgical stuff. Everybody is invited to join in, there are no exceptions. If you wish to take communion you will need, of course, to provide your own bread and wine.

CLICK HERE for the order of service and details of the music played.

Passing Thoughts Of A Mad Priest

It appears to me that if they are actually adhered to, the restrictions placed upon pubs, restaurants and other places of entertainment because of the coronavirus pandemic, will reduce the pleasure gained from patronising them to such a low level that it would be illogical to do so. When you add the greatly increased chance of catching the disease when in such close social contact with other people, going down the pub (etc) seems to me to be the choice of a person who completely lacks reason. However, the thought of a pint of fine, real ale poured straight from the barrel might just lead my taste buds to rule my head.

Natural Discrimination

The big problem with discrimination is that it is the natural way of things. It is a hardwired instinct in all of us. There were times in our history when individuals and groups who were not ruthless in discriminating would not have survived anywhere near as long as the individuals and groups which were. This means that society’s efforts to rid itself of unjust discrimination does not involve changing the opinion of its members (a relatively simple goal) but the changing of the nature of its members (a very hard goal to achieve that is probably impossible in the short term because its success depends on the evolutionary process). However, all is not lost as we have the ability to reason and, although it is hellishly difficult, we are able as individuals to act against our natural inclinations. Therefore any successful attempt to stop discrimination against groups of people must involve logic-based persuasion and also an acceptance that people are not being deliberately evil when they discriminate against those who they perceive as different but that they are, in fact, being true to their natural selves which, in certain situations would serve them well in respect to avoiding danger and, in such cases, would be regarded as a good thing. We must accept, for example, that a person whose flesh creeps when they are confronted with the idea of same-sex attraction but who does not discriminate against gay people is a good person, not a social deviant who needs to be reprogrammed until he or she truly believes that gay sex is a wonderful thing. In fact, such a person may well have far greater moral fortitude than someone who has never had a problem with people of the same gender getting it off together.

Privilege, What Privilege?

The term “white privilege” protects the rich and powerful from the fact that it is they who are responsible for the offences of the past which have led to the injustices of today, not the poor, many of whom were only marginally in a better position than the victims of racism and the slave trade. It spreads the guilt thin and turns attention away from the truly culpable.

The correct term is “power privilege.” We should all get behind that and hold those who are actually responsible to account.

Holy Communion For The Fourth Sunday After Pentecost

Welcome to Saint Laika’s Holy Communion podcast for the twenty-eighth of June, 2020 (a.k.a. the Fourth Sunday after Pentecost or Trinity Three). As always there is plenty of good music from all over the shop as well as all the usual liturgical stuff. Everybody is invited to join in, there are no exceptions. If you wish to take communion you will need, of course, to provide your own bread and wine.


CLICK HERE for the order of service and details of the music played.

Who Are You Calling Fake, You Fake?

Liberals get cross when Trump accuses parts of the press of peddling fake news at the same time as they deride as untrustworthy the reportage of right-wing media sources. I get comments whenever I share anything from a right-wing source along the lines of “As soon as I saw it was from **** I knew it would be a total fabrication.” I expect conservative Facebookers get exactly the same comments if they dare to share something from the Guardian or similar.

Personally, I believe all news media is suspect and bias. I am a life-long Guardian reader but I still have to sift out the facts from the liberal spin. It is better to be a cynical reader of all shades of opinion than a gullible reader of only the media that says the things you like to hear.

Behind Every Jewish Man Is A Jewish Woman

In an interview with the ultra-Orthodox weekly “Bakehila” on Thursday, Israel’s deputy transportation minister, Uri Maklev says he will look to firm up rules to ensure women ride at the back of public buses, segregated from the men.

“It doesn’t exclude women, but rather benefits them,” he insisted.

There Is No Such Thing As Race

I think white people are prejudiced against black people primarily because they have different coloured skin. Therefore, we need to get white people to realise that black people are human beings who look different not that they are human beings who are different.

The concept of race is a product of tribal thinking and tribalism is the root of all evil. People claim that they are proud of their race which is ridiculous. How can you be proud of skin pigmentation?

We need to get everybody to understand that the whole concept of race is nonsensical, a house of straw that was blown down the first time a light-skinned man did the wild thing with a dark-skinned woman and had a baby of intermediate hue.

How Much The Young Really Care

This is what the young people who complain what old people have done to the environment leave behind them on my local beach. There was, according to the local council, tons of it. It is the same every day at my local park. Why my liberal friends got so soppy about young people last year is beyond me.

I’m glad I remained a cynical old grouch about it all as it allows me to say, “Told you so!”

More On White Jesus Et Al

I adhere to a very high doctrine of the Incarnation. The first chapter of John’s Gospel is the gospel as far as I am concerned. Therefore, although the time and place of the Incarnation is useful to know in respect to the ordinary narrative of the life of Jesus it is of little import in respect to the metanarrative of our salvation history. The Christ of the metanarrative is not constrained by the accidents of his earthly life and so everybody is freed to imagine Christ in whatever image is most useful to them in respect of their salvation, both individually and communally.

News Just In

Anglican churches in England will be allowed to fully open again but not until their existing pews have been replaced by new, socially distanced pews similar to those shown in the photograph accompanying this post. Designed specifically for the present emergency by the son of a friend of the Archbishop of Canterbury’s dentist and available in flat-pack form from all UK branches of IKEA, the pews are modelled on those employed in Australian penal colonies during the nineteenth century.

Gladys Dalrymple, speaking on behalf of the Prayer Book Society, commented, “The Church should have done this when they stopped the pew rental system. The last thing anybody wants at evensong is having to share one’s personal space with all and sundry. It is so offputting.”

Justin Welby was unavailable for comment as nobody could find him.

COVID-19 Is Demonic Plot To Close Down Churches


In Ghana, Bishop Charles Agyin-Asare, who is the founder and leader of Perez Chapel International (formerly known as the World Miracle Church), claims in a recent sermon that the novel coronavirus is a satanic movement to stop people from going to church and that the pandemic is specifically targeted at the church and nothing else.

He came to this conclusion during a conversation with Nicholas Duncan-Williams, the Presiding Archbishop and General Overseer of the Action Chapel International.

In Defence Of White Jesus

The iconoclasts of the Black Lives Matter movement have moved on from pulling down statues of politicians they deem politically incorrect to calling for the destruction of all paintings and statues that depict Jesus as a white European.

I’m all in favour of “White Jesus.” I am also all in favour of “Ethiopian Jesus,” “Sub-Saharan African Jesus,” “Oriental Jesus,” “Indian Jesus,” “South-Sea Island Jesus,” “Gay Jesus,” “Female Jesus,” “Transgender Jesus” and any other depiction of Jesus that fulfils the need of different communities of Christians to fully partake in the glorious mystery of the Incarnation, in which God became the flesh of all humankind and possibly, if you want to be really radical, all living things. Anybody who believes, for example, that Italian Christians created images of Christ in the form of a South-European as an expression, consciously or subconsciously, of white supremacism is living in liberal cloud cuckoo land. They did so because they wanted to be as closely identified with their Saviour as possible. The same motivation is behind the creation of beautiful icons of Christ and the saints in the image of indigenous peoples and other distinct communities throughout the world. The irony is that the very people who are calling for the destruction of icons of the “White Jesus” will probably have trendy icons of “Peruvian Jesus” on their study walls.

Resentment Among The Have-Nots

If I was an unemployed or poorly paid, white, working-class male, living in a damp flat on a shit estate ruled by drug gangs and without enough money to feed my children, I would be very jealous of all the fuss middle-class liberals are now making about black lives and I would get really pissed whenever the phrase “white privilege” was rammed down my throat.

The comfortably well-off donating the odd can of baked beans to the local food bank is hardly the same as taking to the streets condemning inequality. Such selective, trend-driven compassion causes resentment and creates more division among those who are treated unfairly by society whatever their ethnic background. This is why I favour across-the-board campaigns against inequality.

The Sins Of All Our Forefathers

Most of the news reports concerning the toppling and defacing of Albert Pike’s statue mention the fact that he was a vehement supporter of slavery. However, few mention that, during his life, his greatest achievement was regarded as being the negotiating of a peace treaty between the government of Texas and local indigenous tribes. Basically, the treaty stated that the native Americans would not attack the colonists as long as the native Americans were allowed to continue owning slaves, as had been their practice for possibly thousands of years.

Nothing is ever simple. About the only thing that can be said for certain is that everybody has ancestors who were enslaved and everybody has ancestors who were involved in slave trading. We do nobody any favours by claiming all the guilt for ourselves. Either we all accept responsibility in part for the sins of the past or we all stop obsessing about them and get on with sorting out the very real injustices of the present.

Holy Communion For The Third Sunday After Pentecost

Welcome to Saint Laika’s Holy Communion podcast for the twenty-first of June, 2020 (a.k.a. the Third Sunday after Pentecost or Trinity Two). As always there is plenty of good music from all over the shop as well as all the usual liturgical stuff. Everybody is invited to join in, there are no exceptions. If you wish to take communion you will need, of course, to provide your own bread and wine.

CLICK HERE for the order of service and details of the music played.

This Is Not America

In America, the past is far more recent than it is in England. In fact, it is still going on in many places. In England, the past passed by most of the population who were too busy trying to put food on the table to take any notice of it. America’s big problem is race. Ours is still class.

Poverty Is Not Racist

The northeast of England, where I live, has been one of the most deprived areas in England ever since Thatcher closed the mines and started to dismantle our heavy industry. We have had the highest number of deaths (per capita) from COVID-19 in the country; fourteen in my small, former mining village alone. Yet we possibly have the smallest BAME population in England outside of Norwich. It is obviously poverty and under-investment that affects health not the colour of a person’s skin. But it suits politicians of all stripes if they can convince us that it is only the BAME communities that are the victims of unemployment and poor housing. It also suits them very well if the white folk at the bottom are fighting the black folk at the bottom rather than getting together and taking the money off those with more than enough money. We fall for their divide and rule tactics every fecking time and they even manage to make us feel guilty for their sins.

Moral Contradiction

So, people who gather together in their hundreds, completely ignoring social distancing recommendations, at a Trump rally are bad because they are endangering maybe thousands of lives whilst people who gather together in their hundreds, completely ignoring social distancing recommendations, to protest about somebody being murdered on the other side of the Atlantic are good even though they are endangering maybe thousands of lives. Sometimes, I am completely confused by liberal logic.

How The Hierarchy Protects Itself

If you are hurt by somebody in authority in the Church and you ask somebody else with authority for help the first thing they do is contact the person who hurt you. Invariably, because they are in the same club so to speak, they believe the person who hurt you and regard you as a liar from then on.

There are official channels you can go through to seek redress but they are confrontational. If your grievance is that you have been hurt the last thing you will want to do is involve yourself in a situation in which you are absolutely certain to be hurt again, even if you win your case.

Hitting The Brick Wall Surrounding The Compassionless Church

Recently I sent my history to Lambeth Palace and asked for help to get my vocation back. The person on the archbishop’s staff who dealt with it was actually concerned about me and he showed my case to the Bishop of Lambeth (whoever that is). However, apparently, they could do nothing as I come under York’s authority. So they sent everything up to Bishopthorpe Palace. They did not even acknowledge receipt. So I contacted the person at Lambeth again who immediately reminded York about my case. Today I received this email from the Chief of Staff at the Office of the Archbishop of York, which I attach.

I have sent a copy of this email to Lambeth along with the following email.

Why will nobody help me?

Pastor Attacks Youth With Pants Down

In Christchurch, New Zealand, Murray Watkinson, the millionaire founder of Wainoni’s Celebration Centre, has been heavily criticised online after giving an offensive sermon in which he claims to be a victim because he is “white and old”. In the sermon on the ninth of June, he also called George Floyd a “villain” and said bisexuals are “gutless”.

In a video of the service posted on YouTube, Watkinson claims he wants to be “controversial and upset people if possible”.

“If you can actually stand in covenant, in relationship, in commitment for a lifetime, you’re becoming a minority. So if you’re a minority then you might also be a victim,” he said in the sermon.

“I feel I might be a victim. I’ve been married too long, I’m also a victim because I’m white and old and have some financial substance.”

He also attacked young people in society “that want to be black”.

“Yo man, they’re pants are down here. Not because they’re well endowed, their pants are just down there. They’ve got the black clothes, the black hair, the black attitude going on bro. They’ve got it all going on and you look at them and you think, ‘oh my goodness’. Talk about an identity crisis.”

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