Three days ago I brought you the news that Jesus has turned up inside a willow tree in Brazil. Some people, although fully convinced of the authenticity of Christ’s presence inside the tree, wondered why our Lord would choose such an unusual place to engrave his image upon. Fortunately, alien life conspiracy theorist Scott Waring has given us the answer to this question on his blog at etdatabase.com. Basically, Jesus chose the tree in order to send “a message to those destroying the rainforest.”
He said: “Jesus healed the sick with a touch, calmed the attackers by mercy standing in front of them, created miracles and rose from the dead. He was an alien, sent to Earth to give humanity some ethics and morals to follow.
“The dark hair, long flowing robe and outstretched arms all look like his. To top it off, the rings of the tree that measure the years old it is, are perfectly placed around his head like a halo.
“This looks like aliens were trying to send a message to the tree cutters, a message they are destroying the rainforest. And that destroying the trees is the same as destroying Jesus.
“This is a powerful message, but are humans ready for it?”