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Following on from yesterday’s shock announcement that Kanye West might stand in the elections for the president of the United States, unreliable sources are now stating that his wife’s celebrity backside is also going to join the race. At this moment in time, it is not known whether the rest of Kim Kardashian’s body will accompany her rear-end to the White House should it win the election. A spokesperson for Mrs Kanye West insisted that she is used to her posterior going off on its own to do its own thing and that although four years would be a long time to live without it, she would survive the separation.

Sources close to the present president, Donald Trump, are saying that their boss is extremely concerned that, as the addition of Kanye West’s name to the ballot paper may well split the Democrat vote, with many Afro-Americans voting for the black man rather than the old, white man, the addition of the Kardashian butt on the paper will lead to the Republican vote being split right down the crack in the middle as well. The worry is that when Republican voters enter the polling stations on election day they will not know which arse to vote for.

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