News Just In……

Scientists at the Large Hardon Collider announced today that they have discovered what dark matter consists of. It’s all the bits of tinsel that get left behind when Christmas trees are taken down at the end of Christmas and which people spend the next six months of the year trying to hoover up.

Professor Brian Cox (not the Scottish actor but the other one) quipped, “We have spent years looking for neutrinos five miles underground and exotic particles being ejected from black holes and all the while the pesky stuff was caught up in the carpet in my front room.”

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