I was sent this joke by my Facebook friend, Robin. I do not know what I did to make him want to inflict such pain on me.
A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie?"
The barman is amazed but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.
The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.
The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and delighted with the number of extra drinkers in the pub, (word of a talking rabbit had quickly gone around), gives the rabbit the pint and the toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.
The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, "A pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie, please barman."
The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.
The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year
In walks the rabbit and says, "A pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie, please barman."
The barman says, "I'm sorry, rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them ham and cheese toasties."
The rabbit looks aghast.
The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, "We do have a very nice cheese and onion toastie.
The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, "Are you sure I will like it?"
The crowd's bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.
The barman, with a roguish smile, says, "Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends? I know you'll love it."
"Ok," says the rabbit, "I'll have a pint of beer and a cheese and onion toastie."
The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie. He then waves to the crowd and leaves, never to return.
One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who had only served four drinks all night, three of which were his), calls time. As he is cleaning up the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.
The barman says, "Who are you?"
To which he receives the answer, "I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house."
The barman says, "I remember you. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous. I remember, on your last night, we didn't have any ham so you had a cheese and onion toastie instead."
The rabbit said, "Yes, you promised me that I would love it."
The barman said, "You never came back, what happened?"
"I died," said the rabbit.
"No!" said the barman. "What from?"
After a short pause, the rabbit said, "Mixin' me toasties."