Mentally things are bad at the moment. The line between the real and the unreal, my waking life and my dream life, is blurred. I was told, by many of you, to let go of my hope for reinstatement in the Church of England from which I was dismissed eight years ago for suffering from depression. I did let go. But now I am living without hope because there is nothing else that I want to live for.
I have arranged to speak to a counselling service who helped me before, back when I was trying to regain my job. I am hoping that this time, they will be able to teach me how to cope with living a pointless life without hope. I am not optimistic because my brain is not easily fooled and I know that what I really need is the restoration of my life not words of advice.