Fake News Just In

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, has been throwing his weight around again. In a doorstep discussion this morning he became embroiled in a mild disagreement with his postman concerning whether it was "pissing it down" or just a light shower (the postman proposing the former and Welby the latter). As the postman would not back down and accept his interpretation of the meteorological conditions, Welby imposed sanctions on the recalcitrant postie on the spot and excluded him from all ecumenical and leadership roles in the Anglican Communion.

In response the postman said: "I will continue to play my part in the delivery of mail to Lambeth Palace, and I will do all I can to rebuild relationships, but that will be done from the position the Royal Mail has now reached in accordance with its internal processes and in the belief that it's still pissing it down whatever that control freak with the pointy hat may claim."

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