This morning I woke up feeling unemployed, exiled, without direction and with an overwhelming certainty that I have very little time left to turn failure into accomplishment. Of course, this is how I feel to an extent every day but this morning it is particularly bad. I made the mistake yesterday of commenting on a church matter and it has, as always happens, reminded me that I am nothing to do with the Church.
I have become a bitter old man. Those who hate me have turned me into something they can justifiably hate. Through their vindictiveness and coldness of heart they have made me into the very excuse for their behaviour towards me. In fact, insomuch that I now hate the person I have become, they have made me no different to them. Except for the fact that they prosper whilst I sink further into despondency and self-pity.