Are Christians The Ultimate Cheats?

Ace cyclist, Chris Froome has just won the Tour De France for the second time in his career. To do so he battled the road, the elements, the mountains and the French media. Totally unfounded accusations of drug taking such as the suggestion that Froome’s race-winning 15.3km climb to La Pierre-Saint-Martin could not have been achieved without cheating, led to irate French spectators hurling abuse, and in one case, urine, at the plucky, Team Sky pedaler as he raced by them.

Chris Froome is British and, therefore, completely innocent of any wrongdoing and bad sportsmanship. But it's hardly surprising that everyone is on edge at the moment about drug taking in sport. Recent high profile cases of pharmaceutical naughtiness among the elite of many different sports have shown just how virulent the practice is among foreign sporting types.

Drug taking to enhance sporting prowess is a worldwide problem and it is right that the relevant authorities do everything they can to expose the cheats and vilify them in newspapers and on TV talk shows. However, it is by no means the only way that sportsmen and women are dubiously increasing their chances of winning. In fact, there is one tried and tested "hack" that is not even against the law, namely the ubiquitous getting God on your side.

For example, when golfer, Zack Johnson, was given the coveted Claret Jug for winning the British Open at Saint Andrew's a week ago, he had no compunction in admitting that he personally had nothing to do with his victory. He blatantly stated to the press that it was all the work of God (Zack is a Christian of the embarrassing American sort).

I am sure I am not the only fair-minded sports fan who is disturbed by this divine performance enhancing behaviour among sportspersons of faith, especially when they end up beating British competitors who only go to church for the coffee afterwards and not for any of that soppy "I love Jesus" nonsense. Something needs to be done about God-taking. For a start it should be made illegal in all sports. Secondly, just like with drug taking, competitors must be routinely tested for the presence of faith in their system. This will not be as difficult as you may first imagine as a simple blood test will reveal the culprits. A slide of their blood sample viewed under a microscope will prove whether or not they have Christ in their blood (see below).


It is my hope that one day soon sporting authorities will be so relentless in rooting out the "God on our side" cheats that not one of them will escape detection and subsequent shaming among the congregation of sports journalists and celebrity commentators. Maybe then the prophetic words of the writer of the letter to the Hebrews will be heard throughout the sporting nations of the world:

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us."

Do I hear an "Amen"?


Are Christians The Ultimate Cheats? — 1 Comment