MadPriest’s TV Update

Don't forget that this Saturday sees the beginning of the first series of the controversial TV knockout competition, "Celebrity Surgery." (Channel 4 at 2200hrs).

The big idea of this somewhat macabre programme is to get minor celebrities from the worlds of entertainment, sport and politics to compete against each other to discover which one of them is the best (or, perhaps more accurately, the least lethal) with a scalpel. Each week, those remaining in the competition will be expected to perform a surgical procedure on a real life member of the public with a real life infirmity. The operations get more complicated as the weeks go by. The first week you can expect the removal of an ingrowing toenail at the most but by the final episode the celebrities will be expected to be performing transplants of major organs. Although they will only have theatre nurses to help them with the actual operations, each celebrity will spend the week beforehand being instructed on how to "do it" by a fully qualified surgeon from one of the leading teaching hospitals.

Each week the least proficient celebrity and their accompanying surgeon will be thrown out of the competition, their incompetence having been assessed by a panel of expert judges and the votes of viewers. OCICBW... can reveal that the three judges for the first series will be Hugh Laurie from "House", Rosie Marcel from "Holby City" and Martin Clunes from "Doc Martin". Martin should be particularly knowledgeable as the general practitioner he plays in "Doc Martin" used to be a surgeon before succumbing to an irrational fear of the sight of blood (haemophobia).

"Celebrity Surgery" is a production of the Crazy Cleric Film Company who are best known for their other medical show, "Dancing With Dentists."

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