I covet fast cars with big engines. If I was a rich man (I mean seriously rich) I would buy the fastest gas guzzler out there and punch my own hole into outer space with the pollution coming out of its exhaust pipes. Fortunately, I shall never be rich so I don’t have to worry about eternal damnation on this one. What I do have to worry about is the sort of people I automatically become associated with just by admitting that I like watching programmes that feature fast production cars. You see there are petrol heads like Richard Hammond and James May (great blokes) and then there are petrol sh*theads like Jeremy Clarkson (not at all so great). The sh*theads in the fast car world are just the same as the sh*theads in all other areas of life (including the Church). Basically, they make a lot more noise than the reasonable people who enjoy the same sort of stuff that they do and, by doing so, give whatever you’re into a bad name and boring new-age types the opportunity to get all “holier than thou” about what you think is really rather brilliant.
Okay, it is just possible that Jeremy Clarkson is one big act and that everything he says is ironic. To be honest it is difficult for me to believe that someone could come out with the predictable amoral codswallop he regularly does and mean every word of it. If I could believe in a person that degenerate I would have to start taking Augustine on original sin more seriously which I really don’t want to do. However, it doesn’t matter whether he is being serious or being ironic because he reserves his most dumb arse comments for his column in The Sun and Sun readers just don’t do irony.
I came across his latest words of demonic wisdom on the RESISTANCE AND RENEWAL website. Today, in his column, in response to the recent attack on the government’s benefit cutting legislation by various and many English church leaders, he wrote:
“The Bible is basically a blueprint for Marxism. In Luke 16:19-31 we are told that those who work hard and buy nice things for themselves and their families will burn for all of eternity in hell. And those who sit about doing nothing all day will go to heaven.”
He goes on to make it very clear what he thinks of Christian leaders and of Jesus’ teaching:
“I certainly don’t want the country to be run by someone who believes in that codswallop. Or who believes that the meek will inherit the earth. Or that it’s wrong to covet your neighbour’s BMW.”
What Clarkson says is funny. As a humourist myself, I can see that. But, on the other hand, to slightly amend the words of the great Homer Simpson, it is not funny because Clarkson believes it to be true.
However, what really is not funny in the slightest little bit, what is, in fact, one of the saddest things I have read for a long time, is that research recently conducted by an academic from Lancaster University (a proper university) indicates clearly that most members of the Church of England agree with Jeremy Clarkson and not their bishops. So, it’s not only Sun readers who are selfish, uncaring b**tards, but also Daily Mail and Daily Telegraph readers as well.