Out Of Southwold

There was an item on the news today that was absolutely fascinating and pretty much proved what I have suspected for many years. Scientists have discovered 800000 year old human footprints on the east coast of England. You can read all about it at THE BBC.

I think we are getting very close to the point when anthropologists are going to have to accept the obvious. The human race came out of England. Seriously, because there are three very good reasons why this must be the case.

Firstly, the English have always had an air of superiority. I don’t think this would have come out of nowhere. The fact that we invented the whole being people thing would explain why the rest of the world look to us to lead them and show them how to behave properly.

Secondly, if you go right down to the southern tip of Africa you will hear people speaking in English. But if you go to Berwick on Tweed at the top of England, nobody speaks Swahili.

Thirdly, and this is the clincher. Black people started to emigrate on mass from the West Indies to England in the 1950s. Some of them have been here over 60 years. Yet not one of them has turned white. Whilst, if a white, English person emigrates to Africa, or anywhere that’s really hot, they start turning brown within hours.

Don’t argue with me. You know I’m right.

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Comments

Out Of Southwold — 3 Comments

  1. They let the ancient footprints (? I need to see more proof. Just a cousin of “Piltdown Man”?) WASH AWAY??? WTF!

    Perhaps this is typical of British Science: “They were ancient human footprints, old chap. We’re all gentleman here, take my word for it! Now have that bird fetch me some tea…”

    • And how exactly were they supposed to stop the tide coming in? Heck, you lot couldn’t even stop the whole of the city of New Orleans from being flooded and you get at us for losing a few footprints below the high water line.

  2. Some sort of derricks? You know, the way they build bridges and such (hey, I’m not an engineer). The way they kept the Hudson River out of Ground Zero (a “bathtub”). I’m 99.9% positive it could be done…for at least as long as it took to safely REMOVE the ancient footprints. [And no King Canute-type divine right necessary]