What To Get Satan For His Birthday

From INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS TIMES:

A vial containing the late Pope John Paul II’s blood has been stolen from a small church in central Italy. More than 50 Carabinieri, the national military police of Italy, are involved in a manhunt along with sniffer dogs around the church of St Peter of the Ienca, near Aquila, in the mountainous Abruzzo region.

According to the Osservatorio Antiplagio, a watchdog on media scams, the vial theft could be related to Satanism.

The Polish pope’s blood was stolen on the day “that corresponds to the dominium of the demon Volac”, said the group.

“Another factor is International Holocaust Remembrance Day, which prompts satanic rituals in preparation for the Satan’s birthday on 1 February,” it said.

I never knew Satan had a birthday. He’s going to be really pissed off if all he gets is some dried, pope’s blood. that’s worse than getting socks.

Comments

What To Get Satan For His Birthday — 3 Comments

  1. The best thing for getting blood-stains out is shampoo. (Don’t ask how I know.) The more worrying aspect of this is ‘Why did a small church in central Italy have a vial of a dead man’s blood?’ Are they hoping to clone him?

  2. The Polish pope’s blood was stolen on the day “that corresponds to the dominium of the demon Volac”, said the group.

    That’s not a sentence one reads every day.