As the wind blew and the rain fell, President Obama stepped outside the White House for five minutes today for a holiday ritual: pardoning a lucky turkey named Popcorn.

Obama also engaged in another White House tradition: Telling jokes about the turkey pardoning.

"The office of the presidency — the most powerful position in the world — brings with it many awesome and solemn responsibilities," Obama said during a ceremony on the North Portico. "This is not one of them."
Noting that Popcorn was one of 80 birds that competed for a pardon from the Thanksgiving table, Obama said: "It was, quite literally, the Hunger Games."
As daughters Malia and Sasha and official guests looked on, Obama asserted his presidential authority: "Popcorn, you have a full reprieve from cranberry sauce and stuffing. We wish you well."
As for runner-up Caramel — who is also being spared this Thanksgiving — Obama joked that "he's already busy raising money for his next campaign."


ONLY IN AMERICA — 4 Comments

  1. Um, Obama has never executed anyone, while President. [And sadly, he has no say re state-murderous States like Texas]

    • OK, OK, my bad: Obama has never executed anyone, adjudicated via the U.S. courts (i.e., fur’ners via drones excepted).

    • To be honest I was merely highlighting the juxtaposition between a country that goes all soppy about letting a turkey live whilst sanctioning the execution of human beings. It wasn’t meant to be an attack on Obama.

  2. There once was a President, Obama
    Who said to a turkey, (with drama)
    “I know fear of a knife
    And a hormonal wife
    I pronounce on this day: ‘No one harm ya’.”