The thing that really hurts is that nobody from the Church of England has contacted me since I was sacked to find out how I am and to offer any kind of help. To protect themselves from having to face up to what they did to me they have demonised and excluded me.
I sent an application form into one of the archdeacons of Durham Diocese the other month for a non-paid, assistant parish priest's job. The archdeacon didn't even bother to acknowledge my application. I never heard anything from him and now I notice the job must have been filled.
I don't think the "senior" staff of the church have any love in them. They have no empathy. To be honest, I doubt if any of them believe in Jesus Christ and his message of reconciliation and restitution. They do not act as if they do. In fact, they act as if we live in a Godless universe where it is every "man" for himself. They are wolves in sheep's clothing. They only care if to do so will be of profit to them personally.
Three years and not one former colleague has been in touch.
I sit alone and cry because this may well mean God is dead. Perhaps God never existed in the first place. If the Church is a sham, an institution of deceit and self-deceit, then why not the god it claims to worship?