MR AND MRS MADPRIEST TO SPLIT UP

Personally, I married Mrs MP, twenty five years ago this month, because I loved her, which, by the way, I still do. Our decision to legally commit ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives was not in the least contingent on the continued oppression in our country of women and men who happened to find people of their own sex attractive. To be honest, the  issue of homosexuality just didn’t cross our minds. We were being far too energetic in the heterosexual department to give a thought to what two blokes, we didn’t even know, might be getting up.

It has now been brought to our attention, by none other than the Archbishop of Canterbury himself, that we were being incredibly naive. Evidently the happiness of straight people is in complete correlation to the unhappiness of gay people and, as there are more of us straight people than there are gay people, me and the wife should have been dedicating a lot of our married life together to making sure that gay people remained unhappy at all times rather than just selfishly getting on with our own lives and minding our own business.

I am now very worried that our days together as a couple are numbered. Traditional marriage (one man, one woman) with all that it brings (a high divorce rate, single parent families, latch key kids,  at mum’s during the week and with dad at the weekend) has held the MadPriest’s own marriage together for two and a half decades. It seems such a shame that we are going to have to initiate divorce proceedings against each other the day after the act of parliament is passed that will allow people of the same gender to marry each other.

What is far more worrying than the fact that my marriage appears doomed is the fact, as pointed out to the world by a former Archbishop of Canterbury within the last few days, that after I have divorced Mrs MP I will not be able to stop myself marrying multiple wives. Now, don’t take this the wrong way, I love Mrs MP with all my heart, soul and mind, but one is enough. And I’m sure she feels exactly the same about having to put up with multiple husbands. You know, I am so frightened by this prospect that if polygamy becomes compulsory for straight people I may well switch my allegiance, so to speak. Does anybody know any good ex-straight therapists?

Comments

MR AND MRS MADPRIEST TO SPLIT UP — 13 Comments

  1. Fear not MP. Gay people have been allowed to marry in New York State for some time now and my wife and I are still together. Neither she nor I have developed any interest in pedophilia, polygamy, polyandry, bestiality or any other of the DIRE CONSEQUENCES of marriage equality.

  2. Ironically, since our domestic partnership defaulted into marriage while I had to take the time to deal with matters of community property, I will be among the first same-genderd couples in Washington to have a “dissolution of marriage”, as we call it in this state. I can’t sort out if I’ve harmed or helped heterosexual marriage, but if I’ve done harm, I apologize. It was not a part of any particular public agenda.

    • Don’t apologise, KJ. You’ve been a godsend in my household where a typical argument now goes…

      “It’s all your fault!”
      “No, it isn’t. It’s your fault.”
      “Actually, it’s all KJ’s fault.”
      “You’re right. Let’s go to bed.”

      It’s always good to have someone specific to blame for everything that goes wrong.

  3. “And I’m sure she feels exactly the same about having to put up with multiple husbands.”

    But perhaps she doesn’t feel that way re multiple wives? {wink-wink} {nudge-nudge} {snicker-snicker}

    {{{KJ}}}

  4. Misses of courses the greatest argument against polygamy: “Great idea – you really want more than one mother-in-law?”