STARK RAVING RELIGION

From BANGKOK POST:

Phra Thong, the abbot of Wat Sri Boon Ruang Temple in Mukdahan province, has penalised a dog that killed a kitten by hanging the dead cat around its neck. 

He decided to hang the dead kitten around the dog's neck, using a piece of the monk's robe as he believed that this punishment would stop the dog from attacking other cats again. 

He said he had punished other dogs in a similar fashion and it had worked before.

Yuk! This is bad but woe betide any puppy who does a whoopsie on the lounge carpet.

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From CBN NEWS:

Well, the "Morman" Church would, wouldn't it?

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From THE BELFAST TELEGRAPH:

BBC Northern Ireland has won a BAFTA for its powerful film investigating sex abuse priests in Ireland - beating ITV's controversial Jimmy Savile documentary.

It is certainly a telling sign of the times that the two best British documentaries of the passed twelve months both concern the sexual abuse of children where the abusers were wolves in sheep's clothing. But I guess such abuse has been going on since the dawn of mankind so this may, in one way, be a good thing. That there were two documentaries on the subject aired on national television channels does not mean there is more child abuse now than there used to be. It just means that the perpetrators are being sought out and held to account more. So, at least nowadays, this age old evil is being exposed publicly instead of being, often deliberately, ignored.

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Yes, okay, David. I take your point. But, you are being a mite sexist yourself in the way you are making it. There's a lot of unnecessary objectivisation of women going on in this video. I'm not that annoyed myself about the eroticism. It's the hypocrisy of making a video about sexual abuse that is going to be popular because of all the nudey young ladies that leads me to think less of you now than I did before I watched it.

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From JTA:

The opening of a music club and disco in a 19th century Jewish learning center in Krakow is sparking controversy. The club, called Mezcal, which is also a Mexican alcoholic beverage, opened Saturday night in the former Chewra Thilim Beit Midrash in the heart of Krakow’s Jewish district, Kazimierz. The rundown building, built in 1896, was restituted more than a decade ago to the local Jewish religious community, which has rented it out to the club’s proprietor. The building had been empty and unmaintained for years, although valuable wall paintings were discovered there in 2008. Mezcal occupies two floors of the building, with a bar installed in the former sanctuary.

An article last week in the Gazeta Wyborcza newspaper drew attention to the transformation, saying Mezcal will feature hard rock music, all-night “cool dance parties with DJs and aggressive, even metal concerts.

The news sparked outrage, with a Facebook page set up to protest the club and comments to Gazeta calling it a “scandal.” On Friday, British Jewish scholar Jonathan Webber, who teaches at Krakow’s Jagiellonian University, wrote an open letter to the leadership of the Krakow Jewish religious community, Poland’s chief rabbi, the Jewish media and others expressing “horror” at the situation.

“I am shocked that such a decision could have been made by those responsible for the Krakow Jewish community and for its historical and cultural heritage,” he wrote. “This is a deeply disturbing abuse of our heritage.”

Ha! He thinks this is a desecration. He should be an Anglican and have to put up with U2charists in his place of worship.

The ravers at a recent U2charist go ape shit crazy

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From GUAMPDN.COM:

Timothy Dolan, I presume.

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From GREEK REPORTER:

Leaders of the Holy Mountain on Mt. Athos are threatening to exclude politicians from their functions of the holy site for the 100th anniversary of its incorporation into a state entity in October if it is not exempted from taxes forever.

Jimmy Carr
Comedian and
smug, tax-avoiding git

Oh, you silly monks, why all the fuss? Have a word with the accounts department at either Starbucks or Amazon. They'll tell you how to avoid paying tax without you having to lower yourselves to make unseemly threats.

Alternatively, have a chat with Jimmy Carr. He's good at tax avoidance and probably makes more money that Starbucks and Amazon put together. What with the prices he charges for tickets to his one man shows.

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From NEW YORK DAILY NEWS:

A performer from Slovakia — so far unidentified — was arrested in Rome on Friday on a misdemeanor charge for pretending to be the late John Paul II. For the past several weeks the papal lookalike, dressed in a white cassock and decorated with a skull cap and a crucifix on a necklace, has been entertaining tourists near the Via dei Fori Imperiali, the broad avenue that leads up to the Colosseum and a lucrative spot for attracting passers-by. Some would drop a few euro coins into his silver tray.

"John Paul was a great Pope. Lots of people ask to have their photograph taken with me," he told a Daily Telegraph reporter.

Police who detained him told him he will be hit with a fine of between about $200 to more than $1,200, depending on a court's decision.

"The problem was that he looked a lot like Karol Wojtyla. He was detained for usurpation of title which is a misdemeanour," a police spokeswoman told AFP.

"The cassock he was wearing has been confiscated," she said, adding that the action had been taken after an anonymous complaint.

Ah! Always the anonymous complaint. Ironically, it is usually the real pope who acts on them as many chastised parish priests know from bitter experience.

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From NME:

Grammy-winning singer Chris Brown's neighbours have complained about the "devil" artwork painted on the side of his Beverly Hills mansion, saying its "scaring children". The neighbours claim the garish, sharp-toothed goblins, which are painted along the retaining wall of his Californian home, are ruining the community's aesthetic and upsetting local children.

"There are lots of babies, lots of children, and they're literally frightened," neighbour Patti Negri told the LA Times. "It's like devils on the wall — big scary eyes and big scary teeth, and just the whole vibe is not what we're used to."

As opposed to real men walking around with real guns protecting the complainers' real estate, which is fine.

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Christian (sic) Concern are at it again. Taking the Lord's name in vain by hijacking it for their own, decidedly unchristian, agenda. God will no doubt have words with them about it later on. Unfortunately, in the meantime, the rest of us get tarred with the same brush when, in fact, most Christians in the UK are not homophobic and selfish and basically want everyone to be happy.

From THE INDIAN EXPRESS:

A Kanhiwada police inspector has been suspended for allegedly disrespecting the sanctity of a religious place. N S Kumre, while on patrolling duty late last night, entered a religious place to enquire about some renovation work going on there. At that time, a person there engaged in the renovation work found that the police officer was in an inebriated condition and had also not removed his shoes. The employee immediately informed the authorities following which several persons reached the spot and confined Kumre to a room. The police personnel was later taken to a hospital for his medical examination which confirmed that he was in an inebriated condition.

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From SENTINEL AND ENTERPRISE:

Daniel J. LaPlante, who is serving life behind bars for the 1987 murders of Patricia Gustafson and her two children in their Townsend home, has filed a federal lawsuit against the state Department of Correction claiming his religious rights are being violated by limitations to his Wicca faith. In the lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court in March, LaPlante, an inmate at MCI-Norfolk, is suing the DOC and Norfolk's superintendent, Gary Roden, claiming he is not fully able to practice his Wicca religion from behind bars.

LaPlante, who is representing himself, wrote that he hasn't been able to obtain some items, such as specific ritual oils, herbs, teas, medallions, fruits and nuts, and a variety of cakes for his faith.

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From THE CITIZEN:

A Western Cape pastor has been arrested for allegedly trying to smuggle drugs at the Buffeljags correctional services centre in Swellendam, the department of correctional services said on Sunday. Department spokesman Simphiwe Xako said the guards discovered dagga, Mandrax tablets and six sachets containing tik on Saturday night. The drugs were found hidden on him during a routine search before entering the prison.

"The pastor was one of the clergymen granted access to prisons in the Swellendam area, as part of a spiritual rehabilitation programme."

I bet he gained considerably more converts than the other pastors.

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Any suggestions as to what the monks might have said on being discovered red handed by the police? I just can't think of any myself.

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From 9NEWS:

Two Zimbabwe women accused of being witches have died after drinking a liquid solution they were told would cleanse their souls but actually turned out be poison. Jersey Mutero, 83, and Erita Bhebe, 73, died in hospital after collapsing in Mangsi Village last Saturday.

Local healer Maxwell Pira, who is accused of giving the women the concoction he allegedly called "holy water" has reportedly fled amid suggestions he could be charged with murder.

The women were taken to visit Mr Pira by relatives who believed they were possessed by demons and had caused a young girl to fall ill. Pira gathered all family members and started praying for them. He also said prayers for a liquid, which he called holy water. He told everyone to drink the water passed around, but warned that those responsible for the sickness of the young girl shouldn't drink the concoction as they would die.

Police are analysing the liquid. It is unclear if anyone else drank the "holy water".

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From GAYNZ:

The Facebook page for a Northland lodge which turned a lesbian couple away due to its ban on "sodomy" has been overrun by angry and cheeky users. Pilgrim Planet Lodge in Whangarei refused to give Jane Collison and Paula Knight a shared bed, and told them they best find somewhere else to stay. The lodge is also where its owners Michael and Karen Ruskin live on the bottom floor of the lodge, and hold services of the Antiochian Orthodox Church on Sunday mornings. Ruskin has explained gay and lesbian couples are not welcome at the lodge, as “we don’t make provision for sodomy”.

Pilgrim Planet’s Facebook page has been flooded with people expressing disgust. Many have used humour, such as a post from ‘Bada Bing’:

“Hello, I represent the K Road Pillow Biters I was wondering if I could make a booking for our annual conference , we will need a conference room to use for our seminars with topics such as: "work it girl" "does this look big in my ass" & "Scatter Cushions for your Car", we also require a screen to show our annual movie, this year we are showing Men in Black Men. We would like to pay in pink dollars or exchange for a parade through Hatea Drive. Would we be charged extra for the cleaning up of sequins and glitter? If so we have our own vacuum that sucks like a rent boy. Please get back to me when you can, yours Freddy Fabulous, mwah xxxxx”

Someone has also started a mock twitter account, which has two tweets so far:

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From CNN:

The lead singer of Christian metal band As I Lay Dying has been arrested and charged with seeking to have his wife killed. The San Diego County Sheriff's Department learned on May 2 that Tim Lambesis had asked someone to carry out the killing and an investigation was initiated. The investigation culminated Tuesday afternoon when Lambesis solicited an undercover detective to kill his wife.

He should never have got involved in that Christianity stuff. It destroys lives. Just say no, young headbangers!

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From ADVERTISING INDUSTRY NEWSWIRE:

Well, you have to hand it to Disney for trying to capture the market on any product, brand, or service offering in their vast empire, even if remotely related to the original creators of something like the “Day of the Dead.” So many people are growing up today thinking Disney invented Snow White, or mermaids, or Pinocchio, it’s a little unnerving. But they sell the toys, they pull and then hide videos from their “vault” (oh no! it’s going back in the vault, BUY that DVD now!!), and they make a lot of movies and manufactured teen idols, and they love the toys (get ‘em young!). And now they own Marvel, too. SO, what’s the beef? In their latest PR blunder (which started to explode this past week), their marketing department had tried to trademark the phrase “Día de los Muertos,” or “Day of the Dead,” across multiple platforms, so they could tie-in all their offerings with an as-yet-unnamed new Pixar animation project. This follows on the heels of their 2011 brain fart when it tried to secure “SEAL Team Six,” the Navy SEAL team that captured and killed Osama bin Laden (and later made into a movie, and TV film, etc.), seeking exclusive rights for use on items like video games and other school-kid gear like backpacks and shirts...


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From THE WASHINGTON POST:

A prominent American priest of the Legion of Christ religious order has decided to leave the priesthood after admitting he fathered a child years ago. The Legion said Saturday the Rev. Thomas Williams, a moral theologian, author, lecturer and television personality, had asked Pope Francis to be relieved of his celibacy and other priestly obligations. After Williams’ admission, the Legion’s then-superior acknowledged he had known for years about the child, yet allowed Williams to continue teaching and preaching morality. It was another blow to a congregation discredited by revelations that its founder was a pedophile who built a cult-like order which the Vatican is trying to reform.

Hey, he merely "fathered" a child. I think that's a definite step in the right moral direction as far as the Roman Catholic priesthood is concerned.

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From SALON:

Arkansas’ Riverside Public School District has called off its sixth grade graduation ceremony after a parent asked administrators to remove a Christian prayer from the opening address to the students.  Sixth grade parent, Kelly Adams, claimed that the school’s decision to cancel was justified because “we just want to take a stand for God because we felt like out rights were taken away."


We’re not trying to be pushy or ugly to anybody, we just want them to know there is a God who loves them.” she said.

Yes. You make your petty, little stand and fuck the young people who worked so hard to graduate. Who is this miserable, small god these people worship? Whoever he is he should get a life.

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In 2003, the leadership of New Life Assembly of God adopted a new vision statement: "To make the Janesville area Christ conscious." Love it or hate it, the new, 60-foot cross on the church's grounds fits that vision. Construction of the cross started April 29, and a crane last week lifted the top section of the cross into place, bringing it to its full height. The cross weighs an estimated 25,000 pounds, will be lit by three lights and sits in enough concrete that it should withstand winds up to 90 mph. 

Church Deacon Wayne Korsberg hopes people of all faiths, Christian and non-Christian, will flock to the giant metal cross.

Yep. I can see Jews travelling all the way to Janesville from Israel just to have their photograph taken beside  this giant, phallic reminder of their two thousand years of oppression. 


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From THE DAILY STANDARD:

ROCKFORD - The Truckers for Christ Ministry has rolled into the Motor Inn Truck Stop, and owner Rex Bragg could not be happier.

"This is a non-denominational program where travelers can stop for prayer and meditation," he said.

Banners and lighted crosses mark two travel trailers located in the parking lot on the west side of the building. A wood ramp leads to the first one containing a makeshift altar, a kneeling bench and upholstered seats. The Theodoshia "Teddy" Burnside Chapel offers inspirational reading material, Christian music and motivational tapes without charge. It is open all hours of the day and night.

I think the upholstered seats are a nice touch.

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From THE LATIN AMERICAN HERALD TRIBUNE:

A board game created by a nun in Cuenca that tests players’ knowledge about Jesus is hitting it big in Spain and will also be marketed in the Americas. The game sells for a price of 49 euros ($64). It is based on the 10 thematic elements of the catechism, was created and designed by the head of religious classes for the Cuenca Diocese, Carmelite nun Maria Granados.  Called “La alegria de la fe” (The joy of the faith), the game is designed to test players’ knowledge about Jesus with miming, games, gestures, drawings and prayers. The look of the game is that of the traditional “snakes and ladders” game, with players rolling a die to move forward along the board to ultimately arrive at square No. 67, which is entitled “Jesus is Lord.” The game is designed for people ages 7 and up.

Fifty odd quid for a game of snakes and ladders!
If you feel tempted, please send me the money instead.

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From CHRISTIAN TODAY:

An Iranian high court has upheld the prison sentences of four Christians for converting to the faith from Islam. The decision means Pastor Farhad Sabokrooh, of the Iranian Assemblies of God, his wife Shahnaz Jayzan, and church workers Naser Zaman-Dezfuli and Davoud Alijani have had to return to jail. They were arrested in December 2011 after their church in the southern town of Ahwaz was raided by authorities during Christmas celebrations.

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From FOX NEWS:

A Carnegie Mellon University student was charged Friday with indecent exposure by campus police after a Catholic bishop complained about her parading nude from the waist down while dressed as the pope.

A male student who was nude also was charged, but it wasn't immediately clear what he was doing during the Pittsburgh school's spring fine arts parade last month.

If you have any suggestions, please feel free to tell the rest of us.

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From ANIMENEWNETWORK:

Eyewear retailer Zoff revealed a line of collaboration glasses as a tie-in with the anime movie of Hikaru Nakamura's Saint Young Men manga on Thursday — the same day the movie opened in Japanese theaters. The retailer will be producing a limited number of Zoff PC Clear Lens Packs that come with an original glasses cloth and original glasses case.

2 kinds of cloths will be available for the pack: One with a “Fish x 2, Bread x 5” logo like the one that appears on Jesus's shirt, and one with the “Gentle Face x 3” (a pun of the word Buddha) logo that appears on Buddha's shirt. The original glasses case will come with designs of Buddhist follower Ananda, the Brahma gods, and the four archangels.

It's good to see Jesus and Buddha getting along so well together. I just hope Mo doesn't get all jealous and start blowing people up.

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From THE LEXINGTON HERALD-LEADER:

After 87 years, the University Baptist Church of Coral Gables, Fla., recently shed its name for something it felt was more forward-looking — Christ Journey. It was following the lead of First Baptist Church of Perrine, Fla., which dropped the name it had held for 89 years in favor of Christ Fellowship. Coral Baptist Church of Coral Springs, Fla., relaunched itself in 2006 as Church By the Glades. And First Baptist Church of Fort Lauderdale is now known as "First Fort Lauderdale" on its new website. The word "Baptist" is found in a faintly lettered tagline.

These South Florida churches are joining a growing number of Southern Baptist congregations around the country that are quietly moving away from their denomination's historic namesake — worried that it conjured up images of pipe organs, narrow-mindedness or stuffy, formal services.

What a good idea! So much easier than actually getting rid of the narrow-minded stuffiness.

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From NEWSOK:

A group of clergy leaders recently sent a letter to Gov. Mary Fallin and the state Legislature in which they shared their support for Fallin's rejection of federal funding to expand Medicaid. The Rev. Paul Blair, senior pastor of Fairview Baptist Church in Edmond (soon to be renamed "The Fluffy Church of Baby Jesus"), said he drafted the letter and sent it to Fallin's office April 26 after reading an April 26 news story in The Oklahoman about religious leaders who sent the governor a letter asking her to reconsider refusing the federal funding.

“Stand strong on this issue Gov. Fallin. Just say no,” the letter from Blair's group stated.

Recently, Blair said he wanted the governor and legislators to know that numerous clergy leaders support the choice to reject the federal funding.

“We are overspending by a trillion dollars while there are some that believe that it's the government's responsibility to provide for a welfare state,” Blair said.

Yes, you wishy washy liberal types. Save the cash and let the poor die! In fact, the sooner they all die the better. Then you won't have to feel in the slightest bit guilty about there being loads of poor people in your country. Heck, it's not like Jesus gave a toss about the poor. Remember, he told that rich young man to sell everything he owned and give the money to his nearest evangelical mega-church. No mention of charity there. And what about the good Samaritan who crossed to the other side of the road so he didn't have to waste any of his hard earned cash paying for the care of some mugged stranger. Really, don't you people ever read the Bible?!

The Reverend Paul Blair - full of love for the poor and outcast

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AND FINALLY...

From INDIAWEST:

A fragment of blood from the body of Mahatma Gandhi, taken in 1924 at a Mumbai hospital whilst he was recovering from appendicitis, will be auctioned May 21 at a starting bid of £100,000 – about $155,000 – by Mullock’s Auctioneers in Shropshire, England. Included in the sale of 50 items are Gandhi’s prayer beads, rice bowl, sandals, a shawl he had woven and worn almost daily whilst in Juhu, a will and a power of attorney letter.

Contacted at his home in Kanpur, noted Gandhian Giriraj Kishore – who is currently senior vice president of the national Vishwa Hindu Parishad – said he was “enraged” about the upcoming auction. “Gandhi is being sold bit by bit on the chopping block every three to four months. It is very objectionable to me,” he told India-West in a telephone interview from his home.

Comments

STARK RAVING RELIGION — 12 Comments

  1. “No Jesus for you!” is the message of the Californian church that wishes to keep the gay scouts out (Ironically, they are already there, but this lot isn’t great at irony.). Do they not hear themselves? On the upside, such nonsense is what allowed me to know my faith through the Spirit as opposed to consensual oppression of the elders, and that turned out to be a very good thing.

  2. The letter from Rev. Blair’s group and his comment are an expression of a “theology” that is quite prevalent here in the southern US. It goes something like this: if you’re poor it’s because you made bad choices, you are lazy and you have bad morals. Therefore it is God’s will that you should suffer because then you will be saved, improve you character and stop making bad choices. The better-off have money because they are upright, virtuous and hard-working. Therefore they should be allowed to keep as much as possible, only paying for what benefits them directly and what they can’t get for themselves.

    This is why as a poor person “Christians” scare me a lot more than atheists.

    • The thing is there is absolutely nothing in the Bible to support such a theology and plenty to support an opposite theology. It is a moral imperative of the Old Testament that the poor should be cared for. In the New Testament it is the only way the rich can get into heaven. There are no undeserving poor in the Bible. There is some talk of God causing poverty but this is never a reason to withhold charity.

  3. Quite true. Of course, the churches who teach this theology the most strongly usually advertise themselves as “Biblical” or Bible-believing” and people think it’s true.

  4. Once again, MP, I’m gobsmacked how you can keep up w/ all this (I’m exhausted just reading it! Have to comment sequentially)

    1.

    “Can haz now, or must wate for Kitten Jerkee?” [Poor kitten, but come on!]

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    Since CBN is the source, they probably misspelled “Morman” on purpose (on Joe.My.God., such an item would probably rate an “In-Fighting is Funny” tag)

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    Re the Krakow Beit Midrash turned disco: Google (ex-Episcopal) “Church of the Holy Communion” in NYC! :-X (Whole lotta HIV got passed about via that place…)

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    Re Chris Brown: huh, the outside reflects the inside. At least you can say his “sepulchre isn’t whited”!

  5. Indeed. There must be hundreds of independent Calvary churches just in Texas.

    With the nearest welcoming church about sixty miles away, it’s tough to convince your children it’s okay to be Christian when, aside from their parents, the only ones they know are haters.

  6. 2.

    Any suggestions as to what the monks might have said on being discovered red handed by the police? I just can’t think of any myself.

    If you’re referring to the *location* of the aforementioned naughty monks, I believe the “h” is silent.

    ***

    RIP, Jersey Mutero and Erita Bhebe. So terribly tragic.

    ***

    “our annual movie, this year we are showing Men in Black Men”

    *snort*

    NB: if the “Antiochian Orthodox Church” in NZ is anything like the one in the US, it’s filled w/ ex(?)- ConEvs, who decided to Get All Ancient (they always thought Jesus picked them personally anyway, so…)

    ***

    Hey, he merely “fathered” a child. I think that’s a definite step in the right moral direction as far as the Roman Catholic priesthood is concerned.

    SRSLY, compared to the well-known Roman priestly practice of, um, child-rearing. }-X

  7. 3.

    Oy, I’m not sure I can be @rsed about the rest of this (MP, could you please break a thread this long into multiple parts).

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    “Snakes and Ladders”: that’s the British revision of the ancient ‘Merkan game of Chutes&Ladders then? [Snakes can’t climb ladders! O_o]

    ***

    “Cloning Gandhi”: there’s bad SyFy (I repeat myself) movie waiting to happen…

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    I need brain-bleach to scrub out that blasphemous “Proud American Christian” banner (then again, it’s not the first time I need brain-bleach to scrub out something I *saw* at a truck-stop. The PBJ Special ain’t PeanutButter&Jelly, it’s ParkinglotBlowJob. }-0<< ) *** The Rev Paul Blair: Yet Another Clergyman I don’t want to stand too close to come Judgment Day. *** “her parading nude from the waist down while dressed as the pope” Probably the ONLY time I’m ever gonna say this: Your Holiness, come sit on my [somewhere]!