IT’S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, MADPRIEST WORLD

People either fell asleep or started texting as soon as he walked into the room.

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From VIBE GHANA:

An elephant from a forest reserve on the Ghana-Burkina Faso border has pulled down a 2012 campaign bill board of President John Mahama in the Ghanaian village of Bagli in the Laura Nandom area on Friday April 12, 2013. The vandalism by the elephant has left residents and spiritualists reading superstitious meanings into the incident because the opposition New Patriotic Party’s logo is an elephant. While some believe it is a harbinger of how the election petition case will pan out at the Supreme Court, others have simply brushed it aside as a mere accident on the part of the marauding elephant.

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From THE STAR:

Jesus has been depicted in art as triumphant, gentle or suffering. Now, in a controversial new sculpture in downtown Toronto, he is shown as homeless — an outcast sleeping on a bench. It takes a moment to see that the slight figure shrouded by a blanket, hauntingly similar to the real homeless who lie on grates and in doorways, is Jesus. It’s the gaping wounds in the feet that reveal the subject, whose face is draped and barely visible, as Jesus the Homeless.

Despite message of the sculpture — Jesus identifying with the poorest among us — it was rejected by two prominent Catholic churches, St. Michael’s Cathedral in Toronto and St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York. Rectors of both cathedrals were enthusiastic about the bronze piece but higher-ups in the New York and Toronto archdiocese turned it down.

“Homeless Jesus had no home,” says the artist,Timothy Schmalz, who specializes in religious sculpture. “How ironic.”

Personally, I think it's a fine piece of sculpture. If no one else wants it I'd be happy to have it my garden.

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I think they should, at least, give him a ten minute head start.

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From SPY GHANA:

Sobrino Valdeci Picanto, 59, was arrested in Apore, Goiás, Brazil, for raping several women attending his church. He gave as an excuse that his penis had been consecrated with “divine semen of the Holy Spirit.” Valdecir came to abuse some elderly, and defends himself by saying that ‘he had an encounter with Jesus in a brothel and gave him the mission of spreading the sacred semen throughout the state, beginning with the faithful Apore Assembly, of which he is responsible’.

Denise Pinheiro, delegate of the region, said, “Valdecir was caught red-handed while rubbing his penis in the face of a local merchant, which promised to make more sales in her business due to the divine liquid. When we act Valdecir offered no resistance and even asked if I wanted to be part of the kingdom of heaven on the way to the police station.

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From THE ALTERNATIVE MEDIA GROUP OF AUSTRALIA:

Four Australian artists – Lucinda Clutterbuck, Linda Brescia, Anne Bentley and Megan Yeo have come together to explore religion and faith in this exhibition. The artists who call themselves – the heretic, the pious, the blasphemer and the sinner are pushing the boundaries and “finding their own sanctuary.” All four of them had a Catholic upbringing. The light-filled gallery is full of pieces like pregnant Mary and Jesus with an erection to provoke the viewer.

I think they may well be wasting their time. I mean, who needs art taking the piss out of religion when you have the likes of Sobrino Valdeci Picanto (see above) going around waving his allegedly "holy ghost filled" willy all over the place.

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From INDEPENDENT IE:

Dancing priest Neil Horan, will be flanked by two police officers during the funeral of Margaret Thatcher to ensure he doesn't disrupt the high-profile event. The defrocked cleric has been given permission to stage a 'protest' in London's Trafalgar Square on Wednesday, where the funeral procession will pass en route to St Paul's Cathedral. But cautious Metropolitan police chiefs have demanded he performs his trademark jig without music.

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From THE CAP TIMES:

A Lutheran church on Madison’s east side has put its “Beers & Hymns” social gathering on hiatus, after its bishop was charged this week with striking and killing a Sun Prairie woman while driving drunk.

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From NEWS 4 TUCSON:

Agents from the Three Points sub-station were patrolling on foot in the Chukut Kuk District when they discovered two Sonoran Desert tortoises trapped in a 10-foot hole under dense debris. Officials from the Tohono O'odham Nation's Department of Natural Resources were contacted and took custody of the area. Following the rescue, agents learned that this particular species of tortoise is sacred and revered in much of the Tohono O'odham peoples teachings.

"We appreciate the Border Patrol's assistance in rescuing the tortoises," said Verlon Jose, chairman of the Chukut Kuk District. "The turtle is a sacred animal and is much revered as told in our teachings."

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From THE JEWISH DAILY FORWARD:

Leading Modern Orthodox legal expert Rabbi Michael Broyde has apologized for infiltrating a rival Modern Orthodox rabbinic organization under a fake name. Since the mid-1990s, Broyde has written widely under the name Rabbi Hershel Goldwasser. Using this pseudonym, Broyde joined the International Rabbinical Fellowship, a liberal alternative to the Rabbinical Council of America. That gave Broyde access to an internal listserv accessible only to IRF members. According to The Jewish Channel, Broyde took strongly critical positions against the IRF, often using information that he appears to have gleaned from the private e-mail list. Broyde is a member of the RCA, and the rabbinical court on which he sits has strong ties to the historic Modern Orthodox rabbinical organization. Fights between the IRF and RCA have been contentious and controversial. The two groups differ over key issues like conversion and the role of women in religious leadership. 
The IRF was not the only target of Broyde’s ruse. According to The Jewish Channel, the legal expert wrote widely as Goldwasser — often using the character to praise himself.
“He was diligent and smart and he tried harder than anyone I have ever met,” The Jewish Channel reported that Broyde wrote of himself while posing as Goldwasser.


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From ABC NEWS:

A rare psalm book from 1640 could fetch between $15 million to $30 million at a Sotheby’s auction on Nov. 26 in New York.

“It’s going to be far and away the most expensive book ever sold,” David Redden, vice chairman of Sotheby’s auction house, told ABCNews.com.

The Bay Psalm Book, which is the first book printed in what is now the United States, comes from the Old South Church in Boston, one of two copies of the book in its collection.

I've got a rather tatty copy of Hymns Ancient and Modern from the 1950s. I wonder if Sotherby's would be interested in that.

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From THE MAIL:

Anger has broken out among Jewish groups in Poland over plans to build a memorial to non Jews who risked their lives to save those trapped inside the Warsaw ghetto. Under the plans, the memorial to Polish 'righteous' gentiles will be located in the heart of what used to be the Warsaw ghetto. However, this has angered the Jewish community in Poland who claim it would infringe on the memory of murdered jews.

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Check out "Bad Habits: 10 Nunsploitation Films" at WHATCULTURE.

Clare Simpson, the compiler, writes, "The nuns in these films are not like the nice little nuns that educated me. They are frequently lascivious, prone to baring their breasts, often in league with Satan or standing up for women’s rights. Nuns make for great exploitation fodder. We don’t know what happens behind the abbey doors so we can posit all sorts of wild imaginings. The sexy nun is both kinky and profane, a forbidden delight and exploitation filmmakers usually imagine them as sex-crazed deviants who actively enjoy breaking their betrothal to God. You will find a wide range of nuns in this list – killers, psychos, pioneers, perverts to tickle your fancy. Now, don’t forget your Hail Marys for looking at this sinful list."

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From POLICYMIC:

During a meeting with the Union of Orthodox Ukrainian Women in Moscow, Patriarch Kirill, the head of the Russian Orthodox Church, said that feminism is an evil phenomenon that very much like the plague, will destroy Russia. Kirill, who happens to be Vladimir Putin's strong ally, is worried that women are too busy filling their lady brains with thoughts and not enough time filling their wombs with children.

"If this incredibly important function of women is destroyed then everything will be destroyed — the family and, if you wish, the motherland." the patriarch said. "Man has his gaze turned outward — he must work, make money — and woman must be focused inwards, where her children are, where her home is."

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From THE OREGONIAN:

A West Michigan pizza shop is drawing attention for images of notorious leaders on its walls. The decor of Cult Pizza in Grand Rapids includes portraits of Branch Davidian leader David Koresh and Aum Shinrikyo cult guru Shoko Asahara. There's also a photo of people who died during the 1978 mass murder and suicide at Jonestown, Guyana.

David Koresh and Aum Shinrikyo - scary but nowhere near
as scary looking as cafe owner, Ryan Cappelletti.


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From THE DAILY BEAST:

An exhibit at Berlin’s Jewish Museum entitled, “The Whole Truth … Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Jews …” has an installation that has been controversial to say the least. This particular part of the exhibit, commonly referred to as ‘Jew in a Box,’ features a Jewish man or woman sitting in an open glass box. Visitors can ask questions and the person in the box will answer based upon their experience.

Many have found the ‘Jew in a box’ portion of the exhibit rather insulting. Stephan Kramer, a prominent figure in the Berlin Jewish community, asked, “Why don’t they give him a banana and a glass of water, turn up the heat and make the Jew feel really cozy in his glass box?”

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From BUZZFEED:

On Wednesday, at a Subcommittee on Energy and Power hearing, Texas Republican Congressman, Joe Barton stated, "I don't think it's a secret that I'm a proponent and supporter of the Keystone pipeline."

He then continued to say he didn't deny the climate was changing, but argued that the change was due to natural causes.

"I would point out that people like me who support hydrocarbon development don't deny that climate is changing," he added. "I think you can have an honest difference of opinion of what's causing that change without automatically being either all in that's all because of mankind or it's all just natural. I think there's a divergence of evidence."

Barton then cited the biblical Great Flood as an example of climate change not caused by man. "I would point out that if you're a believer in the Bible, one would have to say the Great Flood is an example of climate change and that certainly wasn't because mankind had overdeveloped hydrocarbon energy."

And we are supposed to be scared of North Koreans?! I suggest if they ever do fire a nuclear missile at anybody the free world should retaliate by dropping Texas Republican Congressman, Joe Barton on North Korea. He would cause a damn sight more damage to North Korea than an atomic bomb could ever manage.

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From DENVER POST:

Denver Democrats had the tablecloth pulled out from their Annual Spaghetti Dinner fundraiser by the Catholic Archdiocese of Denver just days before the Saturday event. The St. Ignatius of Loyola Catholic Parish was told to cancel the event hosted by House District 8 Democrats, who were informed of the cancellation five days before the fete. The church had been the venue for the annual dinner for three or four years.

The archdiocese says it's simply trying to be apolitical, but some associated with the event say the archdiocese is being anti-Democrat — perhaps even retaliating for passage of the civil unions bill opposed by the church.

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Yes. But who hasn't sometime during their life? I know I have.

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From THE GAZETTE:

There are reports that somebody inside the Vatican is downloading transgender pornography. If true, it could be anybody who works there, not necessarily a Church official, writes the Christian Post: “While the downloads were placed with IP addresses inside the Vatican, it does not prove that any church officials were the ones actually downloading such content. Those not directly employed by the Church as well as the Papal Swiss Guard routinely have access within the Vatican’s walls.”

Apparently, the Vatican is addressing the matter.

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From DAILY NEWS:

On Good Friday, pet hamster, Tink, was found lying lifeless in her cage by British couple Lisa Kilbourne-Smith and James Davis, who were looking after the tiny creature for friends. After a tearful phone call to owners Nicki Gamble and Jamie Wynn, they wrapped her body in paper towels and laid her to rest. But, the next day, they discovered the Houdini hamster had only been hibernating after it dug its way out of the the flower bed where they had buried it and made its way to a recycling box for shelter from the cold.

Kilbourne-Smith's dad, Les, said he was stunned to see her little head pop up as he went to flatten the boxes.

The family has now nicknamed the pet Jesus, because it was Easter when she came back from the dead.

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From JOY ONLINE:

Secret documents link family and associates of one of Africa’s most popular pastors, Nigerian televangelist the Rev. Chris Oyakhilome, to an offshore company in the British Virgin Islands. A business associate of the pastor says some directors in the company held shares on behalf of the pastor’s daughters, Sharon and Charlyn, who are now teenagers.

The company in question is Gmobile Nigeria Limited, an offshore firm incorporated in 2007 in a Caribbean tax haven, the British Virgin Islands, according to a cache of documents reviewed by Premium Times and the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists (ICIJ). The shareholders listed in the documents include Oyakhilome’s wife, Anita; another pastor in his organization, Thomas Amenkhienan; a business associate, Aigobomian Inegbedion; and another British Virgin Islands’ company, GTMT International Group Limited.

Oyakhilome is founder and president of one of Africa’s largest Pentecostal churches, Believers Loveworld Inc. (aka Christ Embassy), which claims “hundreds of churches … affecting millions of people” in all the continents of the world, with a strong presence in the United Kingdom, South Africa, United States, Canada and Nigeria. He has also set up satellite broadcast channels in the United Kingdom (LoveWorld TV), South Africa (LoveWorld SAT) and Nigeria (LoveWorld Plus).

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From THE GOTHAMIST:

Kohens are prohibited from flying over cemeteries ("A kohen initially was not supposed to approach any dead body, and if he did so he became ritually impure"), which as you can imagine, could be a major problem for travel. According to Haaretz, Rabbi Yosef Shalom Eliashiv, the leader of the Lithuanian Haredi community in Israel, "found a solution to this issue, ruling that wrapping oneself in thick plastic bags while the plane crossed over the cemetery is permissible."

Have you heard the one about the Irish jew called Patrick Cohen? He suffocated himself whilst flying home to Dublin.

Well, if you going to be non-PC you might as well go for it big time.

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From DCIST:

Bucky Mitchell, otherwise known as "The Amish Trainer, is a personal trainer at VIDA Fitness' U Street location. He focuses on modern exercises that mimic farm work, as well as Amish nutrition habits and meditation practices.

Mitchell says. "I really get to show people what it's like, just a small tiny bit what it's like to live in that. This is what these people do every day and now you get to experience it for just an hour."

Mitchell's Amish workouts stress side-to-side motions, twisting around the torso, up and down movements and core strengthening.

"It's taking that (transverse) plane of motion and bringing it into the gym," he says. "It very much mimics what you would see on a farm."

Mitchell, who has lived in D.C. for nine years, grew up in the Amish community until he was 10 years old. That is when his mother decided she wanted to leave.

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From ANGLICAN INK:

The church of South India has suspended the Bishop J.A.D. Jebachandran of Thoothukudi-Nazareth Diocese for assaulting the church's general secretary, M.M. Philip, during a meeting of the Synod's Executive Council in February. Spokesmen for the bishop and the executive council did not respond to requests for clarification but the anti-corruption lay group Youth4CSI reports the spat between the bishop and the Synod's Executive Council is politically and financially motivated.


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From SCOOP:

A Buddhist group says it successfully convinced a French factory to stop printing Buddha's face on toilets, but failed in a lengthy campaign to censor a Walt Disney movie series featuring a dog named Buddha. The Bangkok-based group, Knowing Buddha, also targets the "disrespectful" use of Buddha's face or iconic appearance on dildos and other sex toys, clothing, tattoos, furniture, statues and souvenirs.

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From THE TABLET:

Parish priests in England and Wales should not follow the example of Pope Francis by washing women's feet, according to the liturgy secretary of the Bishops' Conference of England and Wales. During the first Holy Week of his papacy, Pope Francis washed the feet of two women on Maundy Thursday at the Casa del Marmo prison for young offenders in Rome. Fr Paul Gunter, Secretary of the Department for Christian Life and Worship, told The Tablet that Pope Francis had legitimately dispensed himself from liturgical norms but that his was a unique pastoral context. In parish churches, Fr Paul said that the washing of the feet is meant to be an imitation of the Last Supper and "intrinsically attached" to the institution of the priesthood.

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From THE ORLANDO SENTINEL:

A new Wiccan website, Love Spells by Amaya, is offering love spells for sale. The spells, according to the site, will help you "finally take your rightful place in this world, and finally make you truly happy." And the site purports to help you do all that without busting your wallet. One of its offerings is the Whispering Love Spell is meant to help you find your true love. The budget-conscious lonely person can get that spell for less than $60, according to the website. Another, called the Sunrise Spell, advertised as the "most strongest love spell," can be yours for just $149.50. And who needs to keep refreshing an ex-lover's Facebook page or bug mutual friends for details about his or her life when you can just put a spell on the person for a mere $69.95 (regular price $84.50) and get your ex to return to you using the Call of Love Spell.

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From DAILY NEWS:

A video game in which Pope Benedict XVI is depicted as a pimp for pedophile Roman Catholic cardinals is facing calls to be banned. Vatican Quest, released by U.S. firm RoundGames.com on Mar. 14, has sparked outrage in Spain.

The game's main character is a doll, resembling the recently retired Pope. In the game, the Pope collects boys and must deliver them to cardinals while avoiding black-clad reporters and paparazzi. Once delivered, the prelates put their arm around the youngsters and disappear into a darkened room — earning the player 1,000 points. The Pope has to avoid journalist and photographers, investigating abuse allegations, who pop up at unexpected times. If caught, the game is over.

Miguel Vidal, spokesman for Maslibres.org who are asking Spanish distributor of the game, Minijuegos.com, to ban it from PCs and smartphones, said: "Representing the Pope as a pimp and the cardinals as pedophiles is an offence to Catholics."

Comments

IT’S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, MADPRIEST WORLD — 2 Comments

  1. If you meet the Buddha on the road, pet him! <3

    That’s quite a list, MP. From Ew! (Sobrino Valdeci Picanto, the Russian Patriarch) to Aw! (Buddha the dog, the even more Buddha-looking seal, and Jesus the hamster) and everything in-between.

    You know, I never play video games, but Vatican Quest looks, um, tempting!