Today I've been thinking about all the wonderful, enjoyable things I could have done to get thrown out of the Church of England priesthood. Stuff like drug abuse, orgies and defrauding the Inland Revenue. But stupid c**t that I am I went for the "get depression" option. It was not enjoyable in the slightest and yet it still got me thrown out of my life's work. What gets me is that some of the important people involved in stitching me up and pushing me out are doing enjoyable things they're not supposed to be doing (like shagging people of the same sex as themselves) but they are not being told to get out. It's not that I want such people to be out of work just because of who they fancy but surely there should be a little less hypocrisy at the episcopal level.

Bishop Martin Wharton
Gay sex - no problem, have a promotion!
Clinical depression - die, nutter, die!