UNITED STATES OLYMPIC TEAM DROPS TOFORTY SEVENTH IN FINAL MEDAL TABLE

It would appear, that due to the extreme competitiveness of my readership, that I am in a minority when it comes to wanting to rid the Olympic Games of its medal ceremonies. However, I think I have come up with a way of tinkering around the edges that will make the whole thing slightly fairer. This morning I asked Professor MadPriest (CSE Maths) of the Newcastle Academy of Creative Statistics to come up with a medal table that takes into account the populations of each competing nation. He has come up trumps, I must say. The following table gives a much more accurate picture of the comparative sporting abilities of the world's Olympic teams than you will get on Fox News or even the BBC. I cannot tell you how this mathematical miracle was achieved as Professor MadPriest wants to sell the film rights but I can tell you that the number beside each country is now known as "The MadPriest Number." 


Unfortunately, although this is a major breakthrough in sporting fairness it is only a slight improvement on existing methods. A truly accurate and fair medal table would have to take account of the wealth of each nation and how much they spend on sport. Also, there are unfairnesses built into the events of the Olympic Games. For example, swimmers and cyclists are much more likely to pick up multiple medals than pole vaulters. So, if you have the best female track cyclist in the world you will probably pick up multiple medals whilst if you have the best female heptathlete you are only going to get one medal.

When you take mitigating factors into consideration, the most pathetic sporting nation in the world is China. That's interesting.

1    Grenada 38444
2    Jamaica 11907
3    Bahamas 11615
4    New Zealand 7933
5    Trinidad And Tobago 5990
6    Hungary 4988
7    Slovenia 4585
8    Montenegro 4252
9    Lithuania 4196
10  Denmark 4099
11  Croatia 3965
12  Australia 3862
13  Georgia 3609
14  Mongolia 3360
15  Belarus 3269
16  Cuba 3225
17  Netherlands 3059
18  Estonia 3009
19  Great Britain 3004
20  Czech Republic 2677
21  Norway 2443
22  Latvia 2422
23  Cyprus 2408
24  Ireland 2396
25  Azerbaijan 2346
26  Kazakhstan 2273
27  Sweden 1991
28  Gabon 1752
29  Armenia 1734
30  Switzerland 1700
31  Republic Of Korea 1674
32  Taipei 1547
33  Russia 1468
34  Qatar 1438
35  Germany 1398
36  France 1376
37  Botswana 1324
38  Serbia 1296
39  Slovakia 1235
40  Italy 1175
41  Romania 1131
42  Ukraine 1088
43  Puerto Rico 1088
44  Bahrain 1016
45  Finland 998
46  Canada 974
47  United States 971
48  Spain 940
49  North Korea 782
50  Tunisia 756
51  Moldava 755
52  Japan 694
53  Dominican Republic 668
54  Kenya 614
55  Poland 563
56  Bulgaria 539
57  Singapore 519
58  Belgium 488
59  Kuwait 477
60  Iran 449
61  Colombia 372
62  South Africa 372
63  Uzbekistan 275
64  Portugal 253
65  Greece 238
66  Argentina 231
67  Brazil 226
68  Ethiopia 222
69  Turkey 201
70  Tajikistan 193
71  Hong Kong 190
72  China 190
73  Guatemala 182
74  Mexico 144
75  Malaysia 140
76  Venezuela 138
78  Uganda 117
79  Algeria 112
80  Thailand 97
81  Egypt 65
82  Saudi Arabia 48
83  Morocco 42
84  Afghanistan 38
85  Indonesia 17
86  India 9

Comments

UNITED STATES OLYMPIC TEAM DROPS TOFORTY SEVENTH IN FINAL MEDAL TABLE — 12 Comments

  1. Living in India at the moment, I’m quite embarrassed for India and its press trying desperately to feel good about the paltry six medals.

  2. And according to SB Nation: If a country, Team Gay would have finished tied with Mexico and Ethiopia in total medals. Over a third of all out athletes won a medal, surpassing Team USA.

  3. What’s also interesting is that if you remove the countries with smaller poulations (since they distort the table in the opposite way) you get left with Australia on top then Netherlands and then England. So, not too bad Mad One. Your country comes in third to the greatest sporting nation on earth, Australia.

  4. I think that if you remove New Zealand for having a small population then you have to remove Australia as well. I mean, 20 million hardly even qualifies as a nation. Really, you need 25 million inhabitants before you can call yourself a proper nation which would make (oh, what a surprise) Great Britain top. But don’t be too despondent, Boaz. Countries of which Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth is still head of state, when added together, win by a huge margin. So Australia can hang on to our coat tails if they wish.

  5. I have consulted Wikipedia and I have also done the maths, MP. Here we go.

    Australia has more than 20 million. 22,699,105 as of yesterday to be exact (poulation clock). Now if you look at the number of nations whose population is greater than 25 million (as you say) they make up only 46 out of the world’s total of 242 nations. i.e 19%

    However if took a more reasonable stance and you looked at the top 25% of nations you get 62 countries including our friends from the Netherlands at a population of 16,738,836. The rest of the world can be safely ignored as irrelevant.

    Hence, Australia comes out on top. Britain third and the Netherlenads (where the hell is The Netherlands anyway? Is that like the nether regions?) are the dark horses in second place.

    As for Her Magesty, yes she did jump from the plane and that was very impressive for her age but our head of state who is also a woman will soon be making a bid for taking over the palace with Australia as the inagural rotating head of the commonwealth so it may be our coat tails you are soon riding on!

  6. Hmmmmm… I like this. But, then there must be a typo after the US number –because according to that number, the US would be 4th… with 9711… maybe it’s my eyes –double vision and all.