MADPRIEST’S ALTERNATIVE OLYMPICS

Let's face it, the Olympics are getting a bit old hat, a bit samey to say the least. We've all seen the 100 metre sprinters' equipment bouncing up and down; we've all gawped at the gymnasts and we're even getting bored of posh people falling in the water during the cross country part of the horse riding competition. What is needed are some new sports, ones we haven't seen that much before.

Here are a few suggestions.
Please feel free to send in your own.

First off, freestyle healwork to music. Makes synchronised swimming look like an under 5s ballet routine.

Or how about some top class face-pulling from the world gurning champions?

And here's a painful to watch display of extreme sporting prowess.

Comments

MADPRIEST’S ALTERNATIVE OLYMPICS — 11 Comments

  1. We could also go extremely retro: Chariot racing! Imagine how much more fun it would be to see Anne Romney do that instead of dressage.

  2. Well, I do’t know about ‘gurning’, exactly what were they trying to do? And the shin kicking was fun, but there is one more proof that my beloved collies can learn and do ANYTHING!!!!
    nij

  3. Well, I do’t know about ‘gurning’, exactly what were they trying to do? And the shin kicking was fun, but there is one more proof that my beloved collies can learn and do ANYTHING!!!!
    nij

  4. Olympic-level slap-fighting?
    The 100-meter saunter?
    Precision spitting?
    Synchronized prancing-around-like-a-big-ol’-queen?
    The 30-gauge shotput?
    Paddle-boat boxing?

  5. I remember reading, in a spoof pagan publication, an article about “Pagan Olympics.” One of the events was the 30yard jewelry walk. Contestants had to walk 30 yards while wearing ALL their tacky occult jewelry. No falling over or one would be disqualified.