GLOBAL SOUTH BISHOP BUYS NEW WIFE

From THE STAR:

The head of the Anglican Church of Kenya (ACK), Archbishop Eliud Wabukala over the weekend tied the knot with one of the church's senior pastors, in a private wedding conducted in Mombasa. The prelate and his relatives two weeks ago paid Sh140,000 to Luvuna's family in Shimba Hills, as part of the dowry.

Wabukala's wife died almost one year ago, leaving him with several children and sources intimated that due to his position in church, he was expected to get another wife to replace her.

Wabukala preferred to have a secret wedding, according to his close associates, since there were 'several people' who he feared, may interfere with the ceremony.

Hey, if Kenyan Anglicans want to insist that bishops "get themselves wives" and pay for the privilege of having sex with them, that's their concern. It's not my culture, of course. In my culture we regard women as human beings rather than property. I'm sure glad we didn't sign that bloody covenant. If we had I would have had to insure Mrs MP under my home contents insurance and I can't afford that expense at the moment.

Comments

GLOBAL SOUTH BISHOP BUYS NEW WIFE — 19 Comments

  1. Also interesting that he could have a private wedding. That would be illegal over here under our Church regulations. But there’s one rule for them and one rule for everyone else …..

  2. “…I would have had to insure Mrs MP under my home contents insurance and I can’t afford that expense at the moment.”

    Oh, bitingly funny!

  3. The intersection of culture and Christianity in Africa causes a myriad of problems. In Sudan, most priests like most people, establish households without marrying. They simply cannot afford the bride-price (dowry.) When they finally raise the money, they and the kids through a wedding.

    The South Sudan house of bishops sees fit to ignore its own issues while sending out nasty messages about Canada and the USA where faithful people seek only to be faithful. And the primate of Kenya pays the bride-price.

    I rather doubt he or the lady thought of her as property, but the culture must be served.

    One GafCon feature, Africans now make American and English hypocrites look like amateurs.

    FWIW
    jimB

  4. I rather doubt he or the lady thought of her as property

    Well, neither did I, Jim. But, hey, it makes a great headline.

  5. LOL!

    Life would be so much simpler if the Central Africans could be at least half as tolerant as the Western Europeans and North Americans.

    FWIW
    jimB

  6. There are, no doubt, tolerant Africans just as there are many intolerant Western Europeans and North Americans. I think it would be best all round if we just arranged a swap. Get everybody into the right place.

  7. The Reverend Dr. Troll has a point.

    I would go one step further. Here in the US of A where the clergy and the laity elect our bishops it would be good if the new bishop would come with a warranty. This way, when it becomes obvious that we elected in spite of the guidence of the Spirit (which happens all too frequently) we would have some recourse other than several years of repentence.

  8. Yes, okay. That sounds good. But who is going to service these bishops in line with the terms of the warranty. Not me, that’s for certain.

  9. There’s a store here in the US called “Bed, Bath, & Beyond.” One may return anything purchased there at any time after purchase and get a full refund or replacement.

    Perhaps the a Bishop store could be established, “Bishops & Beyond”(I’m not clever enough to figure out the other B word that would be applicable) where the same return policy could be useful.

  10. According to Google’s currency converter it appears the Rt. Rev. Wabukala paid about $1680 for his new subordinate equal in Christ. Since I’m personally not all that familiar with the going rate for brides in that part of the world, I wonder if little Billy Atwood or any other member of The Missionary Convocation of Kenya who might drop by here would be so good as to tell us if His Grace obtained a good deal on his new acquisition?

    After all, it would be a terrible thing if people started thinking he paid more than the current market rate and had exercised poor stewardship of his North American congregation’s donations. Wouldn’t it?

  11. The senior pastor bride on the left is BbbbbbbeaUtiful! [Who knew we could get Duncan to leave for a mere Sh140,000?]

    ;-X

  12. It’s OK to make fun of people if they’re black and from a different culture? How wonderfully tolerant.

  13. Yes, it is as okay as making fun of people who are white and are of my own culture. But the most fun is taking the piss out of trolls.