My job, at this moment in time, is to have no job.

It is incredibly hard work and the pay is lousy.

After a full day of not working I am exhausted, I ache both physically and mentally. I do not get to go out, wind down, forget about all the hassles of the day. I can't afford to.

It is a twenty four hours a day, seven days a week job. I don't get a day off and I don't ever get a vacation.

It is an occupation that is regarded by others with more disgust than they feel towards taxmen and bailiffs.

I have had better jobs.



  1. Having been in a similar position for the last year, I sympathise. Are you not eligible for jobseeker’s allowance? I know it’s not much, but it would be a little extra coming in.

  2. No, Rosie H. My wife works as a secretary which doesn’t pay much (most of her wages go towards keeping a roof above our heads). But she earns just enough to place us outside of welfare provision. Also, I don’t want to do any job, I want to be a parish priest. And this also disqualifies me from jobseekers allowance.

  3. Difficult. I want to be, and am trained to be, a librarian – and I do believe this is my vocation as much as the priesthood is yours – but there are just no jobs at the moment. Nothing to do but keep praying, I guess.

  4. Actually, I wouldn’t mind being a librarian, but I’m not qualified and anyway, now I know you are looking for a job, I will pass on any librarian jobs that come my way to you 🙂

  5. You’re right, KJ. I hate the Spring (and we’re having a particularly gorgeous one in England this year). It makes you feel all full of new birth and new possibilities. But then you realise that such things are for other people and that at least your predicament fitted in with the miserable winter days. And people keep telling me and Mrs MP where they are going on their holidays this year. Insensitive bastards.

  6. While it’s not on the employment front, I have a fairly deep empathy for you and Mrs. MP as I head toward the financial unpleasantness related to “upside down” mortgages, for which I am solely responsible (Which oddly does not prevent the Ex from flinging nonsense my way periodically.), and very simple living is the currency of the realm. I too get a twinge when told of upcoming holidays of others, and try to be happy for them; I like to think I’m usually successful.

    So, this year, as in the past several, I’ll throw myself into the events of Holy Week, remembering at the Easter Proclamation during the Great Easter Vigil that just because things are one way today, does not mean they’ll be the same way tomorrow. At that moment, I usually believe it, so I’ll believe it for you right then as well.

  7. Thanks, KJ. To be honest I was very optimistic at the beginning of the year. But “New Words” has bombed spectacularly and has become an albatross around my neck and the new bishop of Durham isn’t going to wave any magic wand which I had allowed myself to hope he would.

  8. I did that job for about 8 months and felt exactly as you do. I think also the thing I minded was that once I was back at work in something sort of like a vocation I wished I could have known while I was unemployed, that it was actually going to end. Because maybe then I might have enjoyed the aspects of freedom that unemployment brings one. Work for me has always involved compromises with bosses, colleagues, and ultimately a feeling of restriction.

    I’m sorry your “new words” has been slow to take off. I read the copy I bought and thought it was wonderful.

  9. I need to sort out a promotion strategy that doesn’t cost anything. I’ve got a couple of ideas but setting them up is taking a lot of time.

  10. …the new bishop of Durham isn’t going to wave any magic wand which I had allowed myself to hope he would.

    Ironic, because you must be one of the more harder working priests in his diocese. Keep up the good work with ‘New Words’ and your services. What else can you do? You’re not getting paid, but at least you’re holding to the ideal of ‘start as you mean to finish’.

  11. Its difficult. I know you want to be a CofE priest, but that organisation doesn’t appear to want you.

    I think you clearly have a lot of skills and ability as this site demonstrates but it may be a case of when you feel ready to do something else or start thinking about what you could do.

    I do agree, though, that employers can’t handle mental illness in the mail, and clearly the church is no different

  12. Oh, I’m resigned to my loss of priesthood. I knew it would happen as soon as I started blogging. But that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.