BABELICIOUSNESS RULES UK, OK!

Being right about everything all the time is a burden. It's a burden I carry with great humility and grace. Like Saint Paul, I am not a boastful person. But, also like Saint Paul, I am always willing to take every opportunity to point out to those I serve, all the things I could boast about if I was a boastful person.

Today I have such an opportunity as I have just received a Facebook nudge from a good friend of mine from the Diocese of Wenchoster, drawing my attention to a new petition that has been posted on the CHANGE.ORG website. This, sure to be universally approved, petition is addressed to "The Crown Nominations Commission and Britain’s Prime Minister" and it demands "That Geraldine Granger be appointed Archbishop of Canterbury by the Queen."

This is not just a bit of fun. There are some very serious reasons given for the rightness of Geraldine's preferment. The following is a quote from the organisers:

"The time has come to move from bearded and bushy to the "babe with a bob cut and a magnificent bosom". Bring back joy and laughter to being a Christian - no no no no no no yes?!"

Now, if this is not OCICBW...'s Babelicious Bishops campaign made manifest I am a monkey's uncle.

Oh, I took such stick when I launched the Babelicious Bishops campaign almost six years ago now. I was even accused of sexism and poor taste. But I was always certain that what the people of God really wanted was something gorgeous to look at when the bishop visited their parish as opposed to having to stare at someone who reminds them of their slightly crazy maths teacher from back when they were in senior school.

Yes, my friends, we are entering a new age, the Age of Aquarius, in which looking good and wearing immaculately applied make up will be the new religion. Let the sun shine in!

Comments

BABELICIOUSNESS RULES UK, OK! — 20 Comments

  1. I’m really not at all certain the the Age of Aquarius has anything at all to do with false eyelashes and lip gloss. As I remember, it was all about harmony and understanding, sympathy and trust abounding. No more falsehoods or derision…

    Randy

  2. And pretty young people taking their clothes off on stage. Don’t forget that, Randy. It must have been the most important part as it was the bit that got in all the newspapers at the time.

  3. MadPriest, as always, your prescience is bragworthy.

    From a technical point of view you are correct about religion in the Aquarian Age, although Randy is also not entirely off base. During the Age of Pisces, according to traditional astrological symbolism, religion was ruled by Scorpio, the ninth sign from Pisces in the zodiac. As Scorpio is presided over by Mars (god of war and the sexual drive) and Pluto (lord of the Underworld), one might speculate that the loving aspect of the Gospel could not fully flourish! In the Church of the Piscean Age the Scorpio quality could be seen in the emphasis on redemptive suffering, death and resurrection, together with a tendency to obsess about sex and to try to control people’s natural impulses and their ideas about God. Hence the Inquisition, the Crusades, the devastating religious wars of Europe, the overvaluation of virginity and the cult of priestly celibacy covering over a culture of abuse.

    With Aquarius ascending, Libra (governed by Venus, queen of beauty, proportion, relationship and harmony) now lends its character to the house of religion, allowing us to give more spiritual weight both to beauty and to harmony. It’s not that we didn’t emphasize beauty during the Piscean age, but it was not personal; it was all in the liturgy, architecture, art and music. Without leaving all that behind, we are now in a time of feeling confident in following our tastes toward what will nourish our souls, and turning away from what is cruel and (morally) ugly based on an aesthetic response rather than an abstract rule. Mark Harris at ‘Preludium’ posted this week about the strong aesthetic dimension of the Anglican tradition, which I feel as been around for a long time but is more and more coming into its own:

    http://www.anglicanfuture.blogspot.com/2012/03/look-to-tyger-and-anglicanism-again.html .

    I also think it would be a worthwhile experiment to have a fictional character as Archbishop. It is all a drama anyhow; why not let it be a really good show, with proper actors?

    So I’m definitely on board with this campaign. Geraldine for ABC!

    By the way, regarding makeup and attire (and onstage nudity), the age of Aquarius is not about having any one standard of beauty, but of letting beauty out of the dungeon!

  4. ” It is all a drama anyhow; why not let it be a really good show, with proper actors?”

    Ha! You’re so right about that part, Mary Clara!

    And, yes, the make-up in this photo is just right!

  5. I understand that Geraldine will be sacking everyone who is there at the moment and bringing her parish council in on block. In fact she has already offered the job of speaking to the media and public relations to Alice – which should be fun.

    Sister Mary Clara, thank you. Before your comment I was just in it for the great songs but you have opened my eyes. I would emphasise that my Babelicious Bishops campaign is in no way sexist. As I stated when I launched it it is a trick to get the old codgers of the church, who currently oppose women becoming bishops, to accept their appointment out of pure lust. Personally I take no pleasure whatsoever in having to gaze at all those glossy photographs of gorgeous young ladies hoping to gain my sponsorship. As soon as the babes have won the vote for us, inner beauty will be just as important.

  6. I got into terrible trouble with all the other clergy at a chapter meeting once when I said that if you wanted provide great worship you had to view church services as theatre. I don’t know if they were genuinely offended by my apparent blasphemy or if they were scared stiff of having to actually do some preparation every week. I think it was most probably the latter – the lack of imagination, creativeness and a desire for perfection in most Church of England vicars is truly astounding.

  7. Well, of COURSE it’s theatre. Sacred theatre, mind you, but theatre all the same. That’s kind of the point.

    Why would anybody be upset with that???

    (I know. It was a rhetorical question…..)

  8. Send those C of E vicars over to “Beauty Tips for Ministers” blog. Let PeaceBang browbeat them into looking smart

  9. Ah-that’s the missing link: you get to dress up. That’s why there are so many gays in the theatre and in the Anglo-Catholic churches. It’s all just different forms of drag.

  10. Yo, Troll: Thomas Merton explained that the mass was theater to his Jewish friend, Bob Lack…and then Bob converted to Catholicism. Tell me again how “theater = heresy”?

    I’ve heard good things about that “Vicar of Dibley” show. Sorry it never made it across the Pond [and that, ergo, this post mainly goes over my head. However, I’m entirely unanimous about the Babelicious (Arch)Bishop Campaign!]

  11. JCF, I’ve been watching the Vicar of Dibley in the U.S. for years. It did fall off the radar for a few, but it’s back on PBS this year. You can also get it on DVD.

    Having been in theatre myself, I have also related good liturgy to good theatre. And, as we’ve found above, there are those who agree and those who become incensed. No middle ground. I guess the incensed ones think of theatre as pretend, make-believe, showy, and that this is not how to respect liturgical worship. Maybe the incensed ones hear “theatre” and think “tricked up”. When I say good worship is good theatre, I mean the depth of truth, experience, and emotion that good theatre facilitates.

  12. I wonder how it is possible to understand the parables of Christ and the nature of his death and resurrection if you do not accept that God has always been an extremely theatrical deity. And with good reason. God sees how we make ambiguous his words whilst he also sees that everybody understands a good play

  13. I’m not a believer in converting people. And theater and church are both boring and they always ask you for money. The messages delivered in both are about as subtle as Limbaugh on a prescription pill jag. Plus any profession that’s disproportionately gay is, well, gay. And then you wonder why barely 35% of the people in the pews are men-and over half of them are only there because their wives make them attend “to set a good example for the children”.

  14. I don’t think theatre is “heresy”-how can something automatically nonsensical and wrong be “heresy”? It’s like saying pig crap is the *real* crap and what horses and dogs and chickens and cows make is heresy. You can’t prove any of it-and neither can the Popoids or the Orthodites or the Fundiegelicals.