The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realised, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 enemy troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last with her bare hands."

"Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

"Don't f**k with Mommy when she's been drinking."



  1. No, Tracie. What you got there is a word from the Southern language.

    Sticst – pronounced STIK-st – is used to indicate placement, and is usually in the way of a friendly command or request in conjunction with the Southern word “is” from the English “this” and pronounced “iss”; e.g. – “Here, Bubba, go sticst is on the bulletin board,” or “Would you sticst is on the shelf over there?”

  2. Very helpful, Mark. ;-/

    Being from the the MadDad corpus, I’m really surprised PMS was not worked into this joke!

  3. Oh, for goodness sake, JCF!
    MadDad is English.
    PMS involves bodily fluids.
    These two facts mean that there is zero chance of MadDad or MadPriest working what you suggest into any conversation let alone a joke.
    Really, please do not project your colonial uncouthness on my father. He has standards, you know.