For over five years now, OCICBW... has been fearlessly advocating that only drop dead gorgeous girlies should be nominated for positions of authority within the Church of England. Do not jump to the wrong conclusion about this! We have not aligned ourselves with the Satanic forces of reaction with our church. Far from it. Our, on the surface sexist, campaign is, in fact, a cunning plan to persuade those fuddy duddy straight blokes and sensibly shoed spinsters of the Church of England, who currently say "over our dead bodies" to the thought of women bishops, to change their bigoted, little minds. OCICBW... believes that if the diocesan bishop is a sex goddess then they won't want to scupper the possibility of said sex goddess turning up at their church on a Sunday morning.

With all this in mind we have been scouring the media to find possible candidates for the reformed episcopacy. It is with great pleasure that I am able to reveal our latest runner.

This is Pastor Beth Tash who has been appointed to the post of "Pioneering Minister to the Night Time Economy" by the churches in Leeds. I am sure you will all agree that she is eye candy of the highest order and that her appointment as the next Archbishop of Canterbury will bring renewal to our church as thousands of "healthy young lads" discover their calling to the Christian faith (Anglican Division).

A huge thank you to Craig S. who pimped Beth our way.

More stuff on Beth (but no more photographs, I'm sorry to say) can be found at THREE RIVERS EPISCOPAL.



  1. The new method for choosing bishops might be to name one candidate, then have two dioceses to send out their biggest pastors and have them fight for her.

    Of course, the best bishops will always go to the diocese that makes them laugh.

  2. Yes, Father. That is certainly a much fairer system of choosing bishops than our present incredibly boring, old school tie, system, and much better than that silly democratic nonsense they insist on in the American church.

  3. Have you considered for a moment what it would feel like to be the person whose pioneering ministry is subject of this post but is treated instead as ‘pimped’ ‘eye candy’?

  4. Well, Peter, assuming that, unlike yourself, they have a sense of humor, one would think they might get a chuckle out of the whole thing…if, however, they are Stalinist, politically correct, prudes with a knee-jerk sense of injustice and two-dimensional vision…they would probably be offended.

  5. Lawd have mercy! :-D..

    Whether she’s ever made bishop or not, I’ll gladly WORSHIP the Rev. Tash…