VATICAN NO LONGER TO "SKIRT"AROUND TRANSGENDER ISSUES

In a move that has caught the LGBT community by surprise, the Vatican has relaxed it's previously strict condemnation of transsexualism. Although post-op priests will not, as yet, be allowed to dirty up the sanctuary with their mincing about, they will, from now on, be allowed to adopt female names for themselves. To show the Vatican's commitment to its new attitude the first two priests to "come out" officially were both high ranking cardinals and their courageous decision has been made public in the international Catholic media.

From EWTN:

In a, rarely granted, telephone interview, OCICBW... was able to ask Poppa Benny what he thought of men dressing up as women and calling themselves sissy names.

"If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is a duck, me ducks," he replied in a broad Nottinghamshire accent.

In another surprise move, the Vatican has announced that, due to his penchant for keeping a whip in his wardrobe and self-flagellating, Pope John Paul II will be given the job of "Patron Saint of Masochists," now that he has passed the miracle test.

A Vatican spokesman quipped to our reporter, "We've had nearly two thousand years of venerating the BVM. It will make a nice change to have a BDSM to worship from now on."

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