To be honest I'm feeling a bit lonely at the moment. Every day seems to see fewer and fewer comments being posted to the threads at OCICBW...

Of course, I don't blame myself for this, heaven forbid (although begging for money may have put a few people off). I blame the following:

1) There is not so much to moan about nowadays. The Grand Tufti has been kidnapped by aliens, the opposition have mostly buggered off and the population of the USA have somehow managed to elect themselves a half-decent president who doesn't say embarrassing things in public.

2) Twitter and Facebook is the place where most of the chattering classes hang out nowadays. People used to chat with each other on the blogs but now they just leave the odd pithy comment and then go back to the social networks to talk to each other about the correct way to barbecue and talk about the weather.

3) Grandmère Mimi. (This is for no other reason than I discovered quite a while back that life is a lot less stressful if you blame Mimi for everything that goes wrong. It also save a lot of time as you don't have to worry about who is actually responsible for each thing that goes pear shaped in your life.)

Now, there's nothing I can do about number one above. And there more than likely nobody on earth or in heaven who can do anything about number three. So that leaves number two and I have decided to have another go at encouraging banality at OCICBW...

TwitFace, will be an occasional posting in which I will simply give you a word, or short phrase, and you then just waffle on about the subject in any way you see fit. Nobody (except Grandmère Mimi, of course) will be told off for going off thread.

If the number of comments on any one TwitFace post gets to fifty, all those who have commented will receive 500 days off purgatory. Should the comments ever reach one hundred I will grant all the participants a general plenary. Now, you don't get offers like that on Facebook!

Your subject for discussion today is:


Off you go then!


TWITFACE — 113 Comments

  1. I know, I know, our cousins from your neck of the woods invented sandwhiches–that alone is a good reason for eating them (even if some of my English relatives actually known to put ground minced raw liver in them)…no, I won´t repent my genetic/natural love for Sandwhiches of almost every variety–afterall, sandwhiches represent the best in all of us–often mixed, mostly fresh, tasty, beautifully presented and welcomed (well, there is the odd Chili Relleno sandwhich around here and sold on the streets that looks as if it might kill people and probably is used as a weapon by the indigenous folks to sort out evil from good, sissy stomachs from leadlined and send the exploiters, alien and domestic, to the hospital for a reverse on the ¨dehydration¨ )…yes, sandwhiches, Earl of Sandwhich be praised were a very good idea–think I´ll make a Egg Salad one with curly lettuce peeking out on the edges–off I go!

  2. Thanks, Leonardo. And as you are an expert on the subject, tell me, is there such a thing as teh gay sandwich? Obviously it would be perfectly presented but what would it have to contain (I was going to say “what would it have to be filled with?” but as there are lewd people like KJ hanging around, I thought better of it).

  3. Praise to the Earl of Sandwich, indeed! I am seriously considering a fried crab cake with lettuce and tartar sauce on a Kaiser roll for dinner tonight. It would be better with tomato, but you can’t get a decent tomato around here in winter—they all taste like cardboard and are an anemic pink.

    wv: mycolog A register of mushrooms?

  4. I’m sorry, Chelliah. But you could get on a bus and be at my place in half a day. Mimi is a nice safe long distance away. I feel a lot safer insulting her.

  5. Had a wrap from the health-food place today: tuna, fresh spinach, onions, other bits of things, on a tomato wrap. It was very good, despite being “health food.”

  6. Hungry again thanks to you and the Earl of Sandwich (which sandwich is my question?) that you wrote-in on–I think I´ll have a Peanut Butter, Dill Pickle with Cheddar for desert and take a nape–there is still plenty of time to dream about dinner.

    Hasta la vista (btw, the Gay Sandwich is *always* a Club Sandwich regardless of ingrediants–we´re like that and know how to combine real well).
    Tally Ho
    WV: Suckilli–would that be a Irish Club Sandwich?

  7. Good dense dark bread with slices of brie about 1/2 inch thick, toasted in a pan with unsalted butter until it melts. Serve with kosher salt sprinkled on top and a side salad of tomatoes, basil and mozzarella with balsamic vinegar. Lunch for angels!

    The two best American sandwiches are actually from Mimi’s part of the world, the Poor Boy and the Muffuletta. The Muffuletta was invented by Central Grocery where they make the absolute best. Standing between me and one is dangerous!


  8. sorry i have neglected you over the last months. i don’t sem to get as much time now. And I have an awful lot of blogs in my rss feed.

    I like a nice sandwich not too much butter in it. My favourite is brown bread and tuna mayonaise Do rolls count I take a cheese roll for lunch when at school.

  9. Kosher salt is flakier than regular table salt – it’s not kosher itself but it’s used for koshering meat, in that you put it on a steak and it helps to draw out the juices. It’s phenomenal for using before you grill a steak or other piece of animal, because somehow it doesn’t taste super-salty. More at
    As for a great sandwich, chicken breast, bacon and avocado. Yum.

  10. Guess this is as good a time as any to ask A silly thing (the key for the letter between p and r in the alphabet is broken on my keyboard) ask a silly uestion— in Europe do they eat only open sandwiches? (1 slice of bread only) or was that friend from Germany kidding?


  11. When I was a little girl we took our lunch to school with us, usually sandwiches. When Nana made my sandwich, she made it with leftover New England style homemade baked beans on white bread with mayonnaise. This is not considered normal in elementary school cafeterias. But I still like a baked bean sandwich, or just leftover baked beans with mayo – Hellman’s please.

  12. I am a purist, but with a twist. I love a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But mine has to be on toast, with black raspberry jam, not any other kind. It’s what my mother always made me when I was a kid and I could eat it every day then. I still love it. It’s perfect with sliced raw carrots with a little salt on the side.

    I know what you mean about Facebook, it sucks me in and I end up spending too much time over there. But it’s so easy to post a link to something, say a comment, and the conversation is off and running! I finally posted a blog post of my own after two weeks.

  13. A BLT with lots of salted and peppered tomatoes, just enough bacon to give it good flavor, Lots of lettuce, and dill pickles, on wheat toast accompanied by naked salad greens and/or good French Fries(chips to you MP).

    Or, my favorite Mexican sandwich, Chicken Fajitas with lots of sauteed red, yellow, and green bell peppers and onions, served with corn tortillas for the wrapper, with sour cream mixed in. MMMMMM!!

  14. KJ, once you put milchig and fleishig together (cheese and beef) it is already trayf. Bacon moves it into the realm of unspeakable abomination. You are beyond wicked and all the things MP says of you must be true.

    And yes, a bacon cheeseburger sounds good about now.

  15. just got a craving for a sandwich with ‘Walkers’ thai chilli flavour crisps so much better than a chip buttty. Oh there’s a thought a fishfinger sandwich. haven’t had one of those for ages.

  16. “Kosher salt” as offered on the US market is flaky as opposed to the relativly small cubes in “table salt.” I like it because it has no iodine added and it dissolves more slowly which often lets it crunch a bit.


  17. The German experience is usually of the open variety, although I have experienced both. Sliced bread is not so common and this week I are been mostly eating Brötchen.
    A personal favourite butty – good strong cheddar, scrape of Marmite on white bread – dipped in beaten egg and fried.

  18. Okay, I give in. The English may have invented the sandwich, but we seem to have also invented the most revolting ingredients as well. TMTIM’s suggestion actually made me feel ill.

  19. Of course the fish finger sandwich only works if you have lashings of tomato ketchup which must be Heinz none of that brown sauce lark that you lot in the North seem to love.

  20. You are referring to the south north, gloriousthings. In the north north we go for ketchup like you do – and always Heinz, of course.

  21. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it…Yes, well her ladyship is with gloriousthings in the fish finger department although she prefers salad cream on hers.

  22. Crusty Italian country bread, mayonnaise, strips of roasted red pepper, rare roast beef, salt and pepper, maybe a few leaves of arugula.

  23. An absolute “must” for any sandwich with salt and pepper: apply the mayo or butter on one side of each of two slices of bread, then sprinkle the salt and pepper directly on the spread so it sticks on the sandwich. Then, and only then, start piling on the fillings – my favorite, mayo, s & p, roast turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce.

  24. Philly cheesesteak: shaved steak, fried onions and Provolone on a long roll rightly named Amoroso, salted and peppered and served hot off the grill. Paradise.

  25. These days, I’m a fan of cream cheese and orange marmalade on really, really fresh multigrain bread. I go through phases. Last time it was a LGBT ( lettuce, guacamole, bacon and tomato on multigrain toast). I think I’m over that now, but if someone offered to make me one, I wouldn’t turn it down.

    I also adore a thick slice of Portuguese bread – crusty on the outside, very soft and chewy on the inside – with roasted red peppers, mozzarella and basil, salt and pepper and drizzled with garlic infused olive oil.

  26. I used to love peanut butter and bacon sandwiches but probably have not had one in forty years. Meanwhile, melted extra sharp cheddar cheese, serrano peppers, cilantro and if I have something like chicken or beef I add it into that base. Otherwise, plain old tunafish with helman’s mayo (not too much just enough to hold together the tuna), serrano peppers — the adult sandwiches are either on pita or wheat bread. Ultimate comfort food? A grilled cheese but that is for restaurants.

  27. I feel a strong psychic connection with Arthur Dent and his sandwich-maker identity. My chicken salad has won high praise among the homeless people of the Boston area who attend outdoor church. The secret? Lemon pepper and not too much mayonnaise.

  28. Oooh, currently at 46 posts: just 4 more, and I’ll get those all-important 500 days!

    Alway divide a sandwich NOT straight up&down, NOT on the diagonal, but at a perfect 22.5 degrees.

  29. I would comment more, but the Glorious People’s Tea-Party Republic is so [WEALTHY, FREE, HAPPY AND FULL OF GOOD HEALTHCARE] that it is sometimes difficult for me to get a comment by [THE OFFICIAL PARTY OFFICE FOR THE BETTERMENT OF COMMUNICATION]because they insist that we be [WEALTHY, FREE, HAPPY AND HEALTHY].

    Be well, and if you can please tell the world community how [WEALTHY, FREE, HAPPY AND HEALTHY] we are here.

    Please, in the name of Almighty Ayn Rand.

  30. I love a Cuban Sandwich (Torta Cubana). A Cuban roll, thin sliced sugar cured ham, thin sliced roast pork, dill pickles and yellow mustard, toasted in a sandwich press.

    The real, authentic item is almost impossible to come by, except in South Florida. (And I assume Cuba, but I have never been there.) There are a lot of fake Cuban Sandwiches around, made with French bread, but they do not compare to one made with authentic Cuban bread.

  31. The chip sandwich. As in, you buy some fish and chips but when you get home it looks like you might not have bought enough chips. So you put the chips on buttered bread, add a bit more salt and…yuuuuuuumy!

    Careful though, as a chip will often fall out of the sandwich.

  32. In my world, where I have “food rules”, if it’s going to be called a “sandwich” it has to be square-shaped, and kinda flat.

    My brain goes haywire if someone refers to a hot dog on a bun as a “sandwich”. That’s what Joe did last week; he was rummaging around in the kitchen for a snack, and when he had eaten his snack, I said to him: “So what did you have?”

    He said: “A sandwich.”

    I said: “OK, what kind of sandwich?”

    “Hot dog on a bun.”

    Mind goes blank.

    I said, “That’s not a sandwich. That’s a hot dog on a bun.”

    Then commenced a very amusing conversation about how sandwiches are supposed to look.

    I have no idea what that concotion is, that Scooby Doo is holding in the picture on this post! But it’s not a sandwich! It’s not shaped right! LOL!!!

  33. YES! Bacon & peanut butter! Add some banana slices to that, grill it, and you have an Elvis Presley sandwich! I heard he loved to eat those.

  34. Come on, folks. Let’s get these comments up to 100. I could use the general plenary, yes I could.

    Now, I realize this doesn’t fit your definition, Tracie, (it’s flat but not square….!) but I’m quite fond of peanut butter and orange marmalade on a tortilla.

  35. Tortilla?!!!

    It’s a good job you’re not Mimi, Ellie or I would have to tell you off for going off thread (or, to be exact, off bread).

  36. I know what bread looks like, Ellie, I buy it every week from Sainsburys.

    And, anyway, tortilla doesn’t pass the Our Trace Sandwich Test.

    Anymore rebellious talk from you and I will rescind your indulgence and your chances of ever getting yourself a plenary will be reduced to exactly zero. Just remember your vow of obedience!

  37. My favorite sandwiches are from Mimi’s neck of the woods:

    – Muffuletta from Central Grocery
    – Roast Beef Po’Boy with debris from Mother’s

    or a Mexican or Cuban torta. Mmmmm….

  38. Oh, Lord, there is NOTHING ON EARTH like Danish smørrebrød! (MP, it’s the Danish, not the Norwegians who do this number) But to stand in a restaurant and see maybe a fifty or sixty of these creations spread out in front of you makes you want to eat them all: they are honestly an encounter not only with food but with art!

    Here’s wikipedia’s description of possible contents for smørrebrød:
    Traditional toppings include marinerede sild, which are pickled herrings (plain, kryddet – spiced, or karry – curried), slightly sweeter than Dutch or German herrings; thinly-sliced cheese in many varieties; sliced cucumber, tomato and boiled eggs; leverpostej, which is pork liver-paste; dozens of types of cured or processed meat in thin slices, or smoked fish such as salmon; mackerel in tomato sauce; pickled cucumber; boiled egg, and rings of red onion. Mayonnaise mixed with peas, sliced boiled asparagus and diced carrot, called italiensk salat (lit. Italian salad), remoulade or other thick sauces often top the layered open sandwich, which is usually eaten with utensils. It is custom to pass the dish of sliced breads around the table, and then to pass around each dish of toppings, and people help themselves.

    Hundreds of combinations and varieties of smørrebrød are available, and some traditional examples include:

    Dyrlægens natmad (Danish: Veterinarian’s midnight snack) — On a piece of dark rye bread, a layer of liver paté (leverpostej), topped with a slice of corned beef (salt kød) and a slice of meat aspic (sky). This is all decorated with raw onion rings and garden cress.
    Eel — Smoked eel on dark rye bread, topped with scrambled eggs and sliced radishes or chopped chives.
    Leverpostej — Warm rough-chopped liverpaste served on dark rye bread, topped with bacon, and sauteed mushrooms.
    Roast beef — thin sliced and served on dark rye bread, topped with a portion of remoulade, and decorated with a sprinkling of shredded horseradish and toasted (ristet) onion.
    Roast pork (Ribbensteg) — thin sliced and served on dark rye bread, topped with red sweet and sour cabbage, and decorated with a slice of orange.
    Spiced meat roll (Rullepølse).
    Tartarmad — raw beef mince with salt and pepper, served on dark rye bread, topped with raw onion rings, grated horseradish and a raw egg yolk.
    Smoked salmon (laks) — Slices of cold smoked or cured salmon (gravad laks) on white bread, topped with shrimp and decorated with a slice of lemon and fresh dill.
    Stjerneskud (Danish: Shooting Star) — On a base of buttered white bread, two pieces of fish: a piece of steamed white fish on one half, a piece of fried, battered plaice (rødspætte) on the other half. On top is piled a mound of shrimp, which is then decorated with a dollop of mayonnaise, red caviar, and a lemon slice.

  39. I’m shocked and saddened that no one has mentioned fried-egg sandwiches. My version is similar to grilled cheese: you fry an egg till it’s just slightly undercooked, place it and a slice of cheese between two pieces of bread buttered on the outside, then fry it until the egg is fully cooked and the cheese is melted.

  40. I’m thinking of the last sandwich that I made which was last week. It was a smoked carp sandwich. One just has to make sure that the bones are all pulled out of the smoked carp before biting into it. Also, my molasses bread works well for nearly any sandwich.

  41. I was in a fried egg sandwich obsession when I was first diagnosed with diabetes. There was a grill across the street from my employer who made them perfectly and I was doing two a day — breakfast and lunch. And I was loosing weight!

    The sandwich had nothing to do with the diabetes but somehow none of the food favorites I liked right before the diagnosis tasted quite the same after it. Psychological I am sure but I just cannot do that particular American classic anymore.

    I have to say the best restaurant sandwiches in America are in Philadelphia and New Orleans. Central Grocery should be a national monument!


  42. I have a fried egg sandwich every morning for breakfast. Sometimes I add Swiss cheese.

    Joe’s favorite: good German rye bread, liverwurst, onion, Swiss cheese and maybe a tough of mayo. Sandwich bliss right there.

  43. Correction: that should read “touch” of mayo.

    I’ve had cuke sandwiches. They’re tasty. You can go to the UK pavilion at EPCOT for tea, and they serve little cucumber sandwiches there.

    Methinks MP’s response to this bit of information will be quite amusing, so let’s see where THIS goes.

  44. Oh, yes, Mary-Cauliflower. Fried egg sandwiches are the best!

    And cucumber sandwiches are lovely. They need to be made with good quality REAL butter – preferably of the Irish variety.

  45. “No.”

    Yeah, I knew you were gonna say that, MP.

    Nevertheless, there’s no butter quite like really good Irish butter. I’ll stand by that.

    Oh! Happy Birthday, Dah*veed!!

  46. The thing about sandwiches (going back to their origins) is that they can arise out of happenstance as much as culinary design, and out of lack or limitation as much as from an abundance of possibilities (as in John-Julian’s astounding example!). I have the distinction of being married to the creator of the prune-and-bologna sandwich. That came about one day when he opened the refrigerator looking for something handy to eat and all he could find was bread, bologna and prunes. So far, for some reason, we haven’t gotten rich off the recipe.

    Personally I love a nice buttery grilled cheese and tomato, and I really miss my Uncle Maurice’s grilled turkey sandwiches which he would serve for supper after the big Thanksgiving feast.

    wv = labbleph, someone eating one of those huge triple decker sandwiches and talking with his mouth full

  47. Happy birthday, David, here’s hoping you get lots of yummy things to eat at your birthday dinner! We are getting close to the one hundred posts that would earn us a general plenary, so I shall mention the word “sandwiches” just to be sure this qualifies.

  48. Happy Birthday David. May you have many more Mexican sandwiches.

    Disclaimer: No naughtiness is meant by this post, any naughtiness is purely in the mind of Mad Priest.

  49. Well, late to the party as usual. If I had the gas money to do it and a car that could be relied upon to actually make it beyond the city limits and return with any certainty, I would be on the road right this minute heading toward New Orleans. All this food talk has made me hungry for my favorite sandwich, an oyster poboy and not just any poboy. There is a plain little place called Corner Café. It is on Green Acres off of Veterans’ Blvd., a block down from St. Augustine’s Episcopal Church (a jewel of a church, by the way, full of amazing icons) in Metairie. The tables are plain with Formica tops. The menus were of the self-printed variety when we were there post-Katrina; although, that may have changed by now. The staff knew all of the regulars and there was much banter back and forth.

    We were Episcopal Relief workers who were sleeping on cots in the St. Augustine Parish Hall. Before the end of the week, we were regulars and even helped a local family celebrate their matriarch’s 90th birthday.

    I had lived in Louisiana before and my father had lived there for over fifteen years, so I had tasted an oyster poboy before, but not like theirs. Wow! The oysters were crunchy on the outside, still plump and juicy on the inside. The lettuce was fresh and crisp, the tomatoes slightly acidic and not runny, mushy or sloppy. There was nothing drippy about the mayonnaise/sauce. It had just the right amount of salt and pepper. The baguette had that hard exterior that belied the fresh goodness it held inside. (My mouth is watering even as I type this.)

    I would polish this off with their superb bread pudding with rum sauce. (It won the “Bread Pudding Tour of New Orleans” that the Deacon’s wife and I took while we were there working, but that’s another story.) The bread pudding alone would be well worth the drive.

    Unfortunately, if I were just to drive there and back, the gas for the round trip would cost close to $100. The food would be extra. Sigh.

  50. Yes, I have eaten cucumber sandwiches. Watercress, too. Both are better with cream cheese than butter, but that’s an ignorant American opinion, not one from their country of origin. I’d prefer grilled cheese and bacon, actually.

    Happy birthday, David!

  51. “it is my birthday”

    Ah, that explains the high libido today. We’ll let you off.

    Typo in the second sentence? ;-p

    Feliz Cumplean~os Dahveed! (One day after me!)

  52. BooCat knows how to write food porn. I love you, BooCat.

    Feliz cumpleanos, David. Forgive the lack of tilde on the work computer. May you have a blessed year ahead. Any demonstrations of randiness here are signs you are feeling better and that is good.

    I have fond memories of wheat toast on which one places slices of sharp cheddar, sliced avocado, thinly sliced onion, dill, pepper and then toast until cheese begins to melt. Open faced because messy otherwise.

  53. I love cucumber sandwiches and the Southern take on them, the vidallia onion sandwich. But the best Southern sandwichs remain the poboys and muffalata in New Orleans.


  54. In this part of the South, we also have a clear distinction between the sandwich and the sammidge:

    A sandwich is a rather plebeian thing, thrown together for a typical lunch at work or school.

    The sammidge, however, is a delicious work of art, a full meal in itself, either because of preparation or the relative hunger of the eater.

  55. Clean slate! Thank you MP!

    I had a bacon and egg roll this morning. Not a sandwich as Tracie has pointed out, but by golly it set me up well for the day.

    Happy Birthday Dah*veed!

  56. My eldest brother invented a breadless sandwich: Half a banana sliced longwise in half, laid on the open hand, spread with peanut butter, drizzled with chocolate syrup and topped with whipped cream. He called it a “dead bird”.

  57. Happy (belated) Birthday, Dah-veed!

    There’s a local New Orleans style place here called Big Easy that makes a great version of the oyster po’boy called the BOLT – Bacon, Oyster, Lettuce and Tomato.

    Yeah, it’s the lovechild of the BLT and the Oyster Po’Boy! One of these, a cup of their seafood gumbo, and a pecan praline for dessert = Mmmmm…

  58. Happy birthday, David (still in the octave).

    fried-egg sandwiches on toast….

    Oh yes, forgot about those. Sunny side up, yolk still runny so that you break it and it soaks the toast. Perfect.

    When I walked the Camino de Santiago, my ‘power lunch’ was two fried eggs sunny side up, bread, fries and a glass of vino tinto. That would hold me until dinner time.