IF THE USA IS SO FULL OF CHRISTIANSWHY DOES GOD KEEP ZAPPING THEM?HE WAS NEVER SO MEAN AGAINST THE RUSSIANS

Of course, at OCICBW... we knew all along that the little blackbirds died because of teh gay.

Over the weekend, Cindy Jacobs of Generals International posted a new video prompted by the fact that, as a prophet, people have been asking her about the meaning behind the recent rash of bird deaths ... to which she replied that it might be due to the fact that America is violating God's prohibition on homosexuality with support for gay marriage and the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell:

According to biblical principles, marriage is between a man and a woman, so we have to say “what happens when a nation makes a decision that’s against God’s principles?” Well, often what happens is that nature itself will begin to talk to us – for instance, violent storms, flooding. And you know there are actually some patterns that you can see where a nation will make a decision that is contrary to the principles of God and after that there is some kind of answer that God gives - being the God of creation, the God who created nature - but we don’t always understand what He’s saying. 

Well, there’s something interesting we have been watching – let’s talk about this Arkansas pattern and say, could it be a pattern? We’re going to watch and see. But the blackbirds fell to the ground in Beebe, Arkansas. Well the Governor of Arkansas’ name is Beebe. And also, there was something put out of Arkansas called "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" by a former Governor, this was proposed, Bill Clinton. As so, could there be a connection between this passage [Hosea 4] and now that we’ve had the repeal of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, where people now legally in the United States have broken restraints with the Scripture because the Scripture says in Romans 1 that homosexuality is not allowed. 

It could be because we have said it’s okay for people who commit these kinds of acts to be recognized in our military for the first time in our history, there is a potential that there is something that actually happened in the land where a hundred thousand drum fish died and also where these birds just fell out of the air.

COMMENT: So lets get this straight. If human beings piss God off then he kills the nearest flock of blackbirds. Well, that'll teach them naughty gays.

Comments

IF THE USA IS SO FULL OF CHRISTIANSWHY DOES GOD KEEP ZAPPING THEM?HE WAS NEVER SO MEAN AGAINST THE RUSSIANS — 19 Comments

  1. Yes, well apparently God has some piss-poor aim too – some years back when the city of Orlando observed Gay Pride Month by putting up dozens of Pride Flags all over the city, Pat Robertson said that the brushfires that broke out north of Orlando were sent by God to punish Orlando for the flags.

    But…the fires never got near Orlando. Like I said, apparently God has bad, bad aim.

    Now the bird thing.

    Geez, what happens if we get real gay marriage? Do chihuahuas all around the world suddently go tits-up??

  2. Do chihuahuas all around the world suddently go tits-up??

    I don’t think so. Dah-veed is both Mexican and very naughty and no chihuahuas seem to have been harmed so far because of him. I reckon God will go for the American bald eagle. Next time somebody shoplifts in downtown Miami God is going to wipe the species off the planet.

  3. The bald eagle nearly went extinct once already due to hunting and DDT poisoning so God might not have to try too hard.

    Maybe they were gay blackbirds?

  4. What gets me is the storyline in this:

    the blackbirds fell to the ground in Beebe, Arkansas. Well the Governor of Arkansas’ name is Beebe. And also, there was something put out of Arkansas called “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” by a former Governor,

    Call it the ARkansas theory. Wow.

    Incidentally, Bald Eagles in Alaska are a bit of a nuisance, and sit around on telephone poles eating dead fish.

    Young bald eagles die by drowning when they swoop down into the water and try to grab a fish too big for them and can’t let go.

    They aren’t necessarily bright, bald eagles. Beautiful, but not bright.

    It’s no wonder Raven, and not Eagle, is the clever trickster of the TLingit legends!

  5. I think Kathy’s on to something. I mean, they have “bird” in their name, a thinly veiled sexual reference if ever there was one, and “black,” which we all know is evil and lazy.

    And I bet the got their red wings without actually earning them like good Bikers do!

  6. Hmmm…. Maybe I should hire some gay folk to frolic around the farm when I need God to take care of a few varmints.

  7. Maybe I should hire some gay folk to frolic around the farm when I need God to take care of a few varmints.

    I advise you against this, Kevin. If God is aiming at gay people and hitting blackbirds it’s obvious that his aim is obviously not as good as it was back in the days of Sodom and Gomorrah (he is getting old remember). You could end up with no livestock.

  8. IT, when George Dubya was president, it always struck me that it was appropriate that the bald eagle was the national symbol of the US, since bald eagles look hulking and predatory, but also somewhat lumpen, and infinitely dimwitted.

    Sorry, bald eagles out there, but it’s true.

  9. According to biblical principles, marriage is between a man and a woman. . .
    Actually, according to biblical principals, marriage is between a man and a woman and another woman and perhaps, a few female servants. And, according to biblical principals, it’s good if two of the women are sisters.

  10. As I recall, Ben Franklin was in favor of naming the turkey as the American national bird.

    (Insert the dimwitted turkey joke of your choice here.)

    I’m not sure that the fact that young bald eagles drown because they won’t let go of a fish too big for them demonstrates that they are dimwitted. They may just be self-destructively stubborn.

    (Insert the George Dubya joke of your choice here.)

  11. It’s no wonder Raven, and not Eagle, is the clever trickster of the TLingit legends!

    Not just the Tlingit, but many NW tribes.

    I love this one (from memory):

    Raven had Gotten Together {waggle eyebrows} w/ Salmon Princess. She would play her magic flute, and salmon would come out of the river on their own, and hop onto the drying racks (!)

    All the salmon he could eat, and Salmon Princess to boink: Life Was Good for Raven!

    One day, Raven accidentally knocked a salmon off the drying rack. Instead of putting it back, he just kicked it into the fire.

    Salmon Princess witnessed this, and was Not Amused.

    Playing her magic flute, the drying salmon hopped off the racks, and crawled back into the river. Last of all, she followed them in.

    [And basically, chilluns, this is why we say “Waste Not, Want Not!”]

    Coyote Tales are good, too. Ask me about “Coyote Turns Himself Into a Baby” sometime. 😉

    @ Dahveed. OCICBW, but I think the donkey was adopted by Dems in the early 19th c, symbolic of the beast-of-burden of the Common Man (as opposed to the Whigs and their gentlemenly horses).

  12. This gay spends much of early spring scrubbing blackbird droppings off every visible outdoor surface, as they descend with Hitchcockian fervor each year during their migration.

    Just sayin’.