THE OCICBW… ADVENT APPEAL 2010

Many of you will have heard of the north/south divide that exists in England. In the south people are well paid and live in luxury apartments and stately homes. They all shop at Harrods and Fortnum and Masons and take their children to Eton every morning in Range Rovers (or if daddy is driving - the Rolls Royce). In the north we still live in huts made from dried cow poo and are lucky to have a small slice of pease pudding to share for our Sunday lunch.

This is all true. In fact, it is much worse as the photos below prove. My bothers and sisters, the young people of Newcastle Upon Tyne cannot even afford coats this winter. Are you really willing to just sit their in your warm, comfortable, designer, four-season top-layers whilst the poor people of Newcastle freeze to death?

No, I didn't think you were for a moment. Please send your contributions to alleviate this pitiful situation of extreme poverty to MadPriest via the PayPal facility in the right hand side-bar.

MadPriest promises that NOT A PENNY of your over-generous contributions to this campaign will get to the people who actually need it and that all the cash that you send in will be gobbled up by his own "administration" costs incurred in the running of this appeal from the temporary campaign headquarters that has been set up at The Cluny Public House and Grill down the Ouseburn.

For further information on the plight of the plucky Geordies, CLICK HERE.

A big thank you to Daily Mail reader, Cathy, for bringing this horrifying story of human suffering to my attention.

Comments

THE OCICBW… ADVENT APPEAL 2010 — 31 Comments

  1. MadPriest, you are truly the funniest thing I ever saw! I love it.

    AND, let me know how the appeal works. Wish I could come up with something equally as clever in the fundraising department for my Center.

    Outstanding!!!

  2. One cannot help noticing that the ‘ladies’ in your illustration, particularly the first one, appear to be quite well fed, even if short of clothes. When they really look hungry I’ll be the first (or maybe the 2nd) to put my money where my mouth is.

  3. cymraeg, you old cynic! You are looking at the extended stomachs common on people at the very brink of starvation. Please give generously!

  4. Way too much chunky stuffed into way too little sailor suit in that first foto.

    I had not realized that there had been a revival of the mini! Or are nighties the evening wear rage in Newcastle?

    I get a chuckle out of your spelling faux pas in the Inuit foto MP.

  5. Oh, fuck!!!! 🙂

    What an awful mistake and I can see why you thought it funny.

    I will alter it soon, so I suggest if you wish to keep a copy for future blackmailing opportunities, you download it now.

  6. “Way too much chunky stuffed into way too little sailor suit in that first foto.”

    Au contraire, mon frère. Nothin’ wrong with a voluptuous girl with “vast tracts of land” 😉

  7. I agree with you, David. In fact, I would like to see more “chunky” young ladies, stuffed into sailor suits two sizes too small for them, at OCICBW… . I’ll see what I can do.

  8. Speaking of spelling mistakes was “bothers and sisters” deliberate? Cos you might upset the very males whose sympathies you are appealing to with that one, Mad Priest. Nice to hear the sistas don’t bother you tho, given you like to pretend the opposite 🙂

    PS My pet birdies came from Harrods, thus proving it’s all true folks, every word MP has said.

  9. Actually I didn’t mention the brothers, at all. I was speaking to the sisters and THOSE WOMEN WHO KEEP BOTHERING ME WITH PEDANTIC COMMENTS ABOUT MY SPELLING!!!!!

    What I need is a sub-editor 🙂

  10. No you don’t, “bothers and sisters” is good, I like it 🙂

    I bet Newcastle girls wouldn’t even notice the cold in Alaska, and would drink the Inuit under the table to boot.

  11. Ahh. Proper British chips. Nothing like ’em. Whenever I’m over there I can’t wait until I have a chance to get a fried egg with chips in a place that really knows how to do chips right!

  12. I would like to see more “chunky” young ladies, stuffed into sailor suits two sizes too small for them, at OCICBW…

    Thank you, kind sir…thank you indeed ;->

    @Ellie. Mmmm…Chiiiips.

  13. I bet Newcastle girls wouldn’t even notice the cold

    Yeah, I kept looking for evidence of them being cold, or happy to see me, but was unable to detect either. And I was very diligent about it, too! 😀

  14. Ellie, I am so with you on that one. In fact I’m beginning to think we two could give the Newcastle girlies a run for their money in Alaska. It’s the chips, you see – that’s their secret weapon. The chips line the veins with chip fat and then you don’t feel the cold.

    I kept looking for evidence of them being cold, or happy to see me, but was unable to detect either

    David, I suspect tight sailor suits conceal a multitude of sins, though they possibly reveal a multitude of others.

  15. It has to be admitted, you could pass for a Geordie lass.

    Yes, our Cathy is exceptional on a number of levels, isn’t she ? ;->

  16. Nothin’ wrong with a voluptuous girl with “vast tracts of land”

    Amen to that. It is because we are not averse to fleshly pleasure that we ARE curvy and chewy. We are not, as Eddie Murphy said many years ago, “salad eatin’ bitches.” Hellz to the no. Pass me that sausage, cheese, dark bread and stout, thanks very much.

    😀

  17. The sailor suit looks silly since Halloween was last month. Plus it could be a liability if she is bound for a disco. She could put someone’s eye out if one of those jugs gets to jiggling too much and comes flying out. I see the second wardrobe mishap for the night in her future.

  18. This thread is entirely Made of WIN.

    Instead of buying these lovely ladies coats, I’d like to invite them to a (VERY) warm place… ;-p

  19. She could put someone’s eye out if one of those jugs gets to jiggling too much and comes flying out.

    Blimey – if she can manage that with a jug, all power to her 🙂

    David – thank you darlin’, as ever 🙂

    Mad Priest – not true!!!! a foul slander 🙂

  20. She could put someone’s eye out if one of those jugs gets to jiggling too much and comes flying out. I see the second wardrobe mishap for the night in her future.

    Dammit, stop distracting me! I have work to do… 😀

    ::offers a high five to Tracie, and hopes she’ll share that stout::