It is now exactly six months since I worshipped in a church. Everybody who should care about this fact doesn't give a shit.

The purpose of life is purpose. I am the walking dead.



  1. I´m sorry you´re feeling ignored and unappreciated–you´ve come to the right place to share your anger and dismay–there are legions of people, all kinds of Anglican people, who care about you in a very big way–candles lit, prayers ascending for your peace of mind…it´s almost Thanksgiving Day in the New World (dia de accion de Gracias in parts of Latin America)…I´m Thankful and grateful that I/we have friends and spiritual champions like you…you to be specific, Thanks to you.

    Leonardo Ricardo, Central America

  2. Beloved sir, have you considered posting for a parish in the US of A?
    Your theological/sociological views would be not so alien there (in some diocese at least) and Episcopalians simply can’t resist Brits. Pay’s decent, no public health but usually a good insurance program. Of course, you’d be in the same country as the arch weirdos, but we try to keep them in various remote corrals. And we could use a few more good presenters on the team for truth and equality and all.

  3. Not so, mp, not so. You do more than you know. I have found St. Laika especially valuable as I struggle with my own ecclesiastical unhappiness. Your purpose, your vocation, is from God not human institutions.

  4. The walking dead? Not you. This on-line “congregation” at OCICBW and St. Laika’s is more alive under your leadership than many a brick-and-mortar church, in your country or mine. I know that you want to exercise your talents in a world that doesn’t consist solely of bytes and pixels, and I hope you get to do so soon; but you’re doing good work here. Please remember that.

  5. De-lurking, just to hand over a big mug of strong Assam tea. A little cream to top it off.

    Of course you’re not the walking dead; that sounds like unemployment depression speaking, not you. Your online work is amazing and very very alive. Sending love, much respect & prayers from NYC.

  6. Yup. I get it about the antibiotics.

    You know, I don’t worship very often anymore in the brick and mortar churches but I do SOME and (for reasons I’ll have to develop later) I do think it’s important. Here’s something I recommend: arrive late and leave early. That way you don’t have to talk to anybody (that is, answer any uncomfortable questions). I also attend the Lutheran church sometimes as we’re in full communion with them over here. (I realize that’s undoubtedly not an option in your part of the world.)

    And I’m with our Mimi, here. I may not be one of the people who SHOULD care but I DO care.

    (By the way, the people over here who SHOULD care about whether I’m worshiping in a “real” church or not don’t give a shit either. As I tend to say in such situations, “They have their reward.”)

  7. Yes, I know, dear friend. I do get it. Although I’ve never presided at the mass, I have a considerable history of preaching (which has long been a vital part of my vocation – one I have truly cherished and miss sorely). For a long time there I could not bear to hear anyone else preach in an Episcopal Church after the bishop chose not to renew my license.

    (Note here to those unfamiliar with this story: I have not committed any wrongdoing that would merit the yanking of my license or the loss of my diocesan job, for that matter. The new bishop here simply considered me part of the “era” of his predecessor and decided to get rid of me.)

    You know, it takes a while to heal from this sort of thing. That’s normal. But I’ll share this with you: being marginalized with regard to the institutional church has actually made it possible for me to be in ministry in ways I could not have begun to have attempted before all this nastiness went down. Surviving financially is hard, yes. But the freedom is incredible.

    Don’t lose heart, dear Father. Don’t ever lose heart!

  8. There are people who give a shit and there is nothing stopping you going to a church apart from that pride thing.
    If you want to celebrate then I’ll get a slot for you down the road.

  9. Just saw this, Mad Priest. I have nothing intelligent to say; just that I do know a bit of what you feel, and I wish you all the very best.

  10. I’m with Mr. Stowe. Even spoke to “Strangelove” this Sunday about how I’d like to see you apply to our parish…

  11. I believe that God answers prayer and your time will come. And think how many people you help and continue to help.

    BTW if you ARE the walking dead, why not take advantage of it and bite the nearest Bishop? That way the contagion will spread and before you know it they will all have left to join the ordinariate and there will be plenty of vacancies in the CofE. Job done!

  12. BTW given the state of things here in the US, I do NOT blame you for wanting to stay the hell out of this place. AWESOME as it would be to have you here (and I think various parishes would fight over you), I’m not sure it’s the right environment (at this time) for you.

  13. Sorry that you are feeling so down. I don’t post very often, but do I care. I imagine that there are many many other quiet readers who feel the same.

  14. I am no one either, but I care.

    If you can, let The Me set you up.

    We attend our parish a little less, but only because it is a bit disruptive. And a couple of busy bodies started making noises that folks who needed security details to leave home were putting the rest of the parish at risk by leading the pandilleros/narcos to the church.

  15. I left for eighteen months at one point and no-one cares. I used to do that, “it’s been six months, it’s been a year”etc.
    Feeling for you.

  16. Not much to say maddie, but it is a horrid wrench not having an altar. Time heals the time will come when you can put up with being in a church and not being president at the liturgy. When I went boink and came back I found going Quaker for a bit actually helped. silence, God and no s**t. Then, when I felt I could cope with Anglicans and sacraments, a Church with 2 doors to exit through was a godsend! I can bodyswerve the clergy that way! prayers ascending.