LETTER FROM AFRICA

From THE STANDARD (Zimbabwe's leading Sunday newspaper):

The King James Bible is the first English translation of the Christian Bibles. Some people name it “the 1611 Authorised King James”. The Church of England (now known as the Anglican Church) undertook the translating work in the year 1604 and completed it in the year 1611.

The translation work was done as a directive from King James the first, during the time of his reign in England. The New Testament was translated from Greek and the Old Testament from Hebrew. Translation work was undertaken by several scholars, most of whom were from the Church of England. The translating members were arranged into six committees, each working on certain parts separately. Drafts produced by each committee were then compared and revised for harmony with each other. The translation and compilation of the Bible was supported by donations of members of the Church of England. The final translation product was printed and published by Robert Baker in the year 1611.

I believe that the Bible is a sacred book of God. It is His constitution or His infallible message to mankind. The Devil hates people who study their bibles. He knows that the more they study it, the more they become dangerous to his kingdom. I also believe that to avoid further damage to his kingdom the Devil designed a malicious master plan of printing and circulating counterfeit bibles.

Christians should therefore be aware of such bibles which are now in circulation. There is nothing good about them besides seeding deception and heresies among Christians. It is encouraged to check and see if your bible is not one of these deceptive types.
(Simukai Victor Kaponda)

COMMENT: Well don't just sit there staring at your computer screen. Off you go and check. And if you're not sure if your Bible is one of the deceptive types contact Simukai direct c/o The Harare Clinic For The Religiously Deranged, 666 Mugabe Iz Da Boss Avenue, Harare, IH8 YT, Zimbabwe.

And for more ga ga fundamentalist fun check out "A Bible Lesson Gone Horribly Wrong" at PAM'S HOUSE BLEND.

Comments

LETTER FROM AFRICA — 10 Comments

  1. I was hoping that you would not notice this letter. I thought it was tucked away where such craziness from the crazy country of Zimbabwe would stay hidden. We have enough craziness from Zimbabwe already. To think that English is not even the language he thinks in. We were truly colonized

  2. The King James Bible is the first English translation of the Christian Bibles.

    No wonder the theology is so bad when the history is so wrong. Did this guy never hear of Wyclif, Tyndale, Coverdale, The Great Bible, the Geneva Bible, The Douay-Rheims, and all of the other pre-1611 English translations?

  3. Oh, David, without a doubt, all of us who read the NRSV are going straight to hell with our master–the Devil! Oh, dear, this is too sad.

  4. “The New Testament was translated from Greek and the Old Testament from Hebrew.” Yes, Mr. Kaponda, that’s correct. (Well, mostly.) Now then, let’s have a discussion about the variant readings in the Hebrew and Greek texts, especially in light of the huge number of early manuscripts that have been discovered since 1611. You do read Hebrew and Greek, don’t you, Mr. Kaponda? (Full disclosure: I can still work with the Greek text. I learned Hebrew in seminary but it has since pretty well swirled the drain.) Most of us realize that all translations of Scripture have their strengths and their flaws. The AV is outstanding as English literature, but as a translation of the original texts it is several lines down from the top.

    Oh, well. Let’s not pick on the folks in Zimbabwe. There are more than enough Biblical morons in the US and the UK to give us heartburn.

  5. Pick on folks from Zimbabwe?

    Never!

    I think we owe a heck of a lot to Mr Kaponda. he has saved many of my readers from spending eternity in the fiery pit because they have discovered that copies of the Devil’s Bible have somehow ended up on their bookshelves – JUST AS MR KAPONDA SAID THEY WOULD.

    The man is a prophet and, if he is ever allowed, at least day release, from his present accommodation, I for one hope he is given the acclamation he so truly deserves.

  6. You do read Hebrew and Greek, don’t you, Mr. Kaponda? (Full disclosure: I can still work with the Greek text. I learned Hebrew in seminary but it has since pretty well swirled the drain.)

    I feel safe in assuming, WSJM, that the amount of your currently non-swirl-drained Hebrew VASTLY exceeds that EVER even attempted by Mr. Kaponda.