Anybody who has even the slightest respect for the teachings of Jesus Christ will probably think that the royal procession of the Prince of Rome through his British territories this week is beyond being lampooned. But the excellent PRIVATE EYE magazine gave it their best shot:

So, what the heck, I better give it my best shot too:

I haven't seen the BBC news team in such a grovelling mode since the death of Princess Di. Although the media, especially the independent TV stations, put on programmes critical of the Roman Catholic church, the coverage of the actual gigs and photo ops was so fawning towards the winner of "Pope Idol 2010" that I got confused as to who exactly was being beatified during his visit. The BBC found a commentator to front up their team whose other job must be working as Benny's hagiographer. He kept talking about "The Church" as if Britain was still part of the Holy Roman Empire and not the birthplace of Anglicanism, Methodism, the Society of Friends, the Salvation Army et al.

The soundbite that summed it up for me was when a BBC interviewer asked a twenty one year old at the Roman Catholic seminary in Birmingham if he had ever had doubts about becoming a Roman Catholic priest in the light of all the recent scandals in his denomination. His reply was that he had never had doubts about becoming a Roman Catholic priest because Roman Catholicism was the "one true church." The interviewer didn't even blink at that preposterous statement which was about typical of the BBC staff this week.

The photographs that summed the whole thing up for me were these two beauties (please avert your eyes now if you are easily scared shitless):

Fortunately, teh gays and the usual suspects were out in force to bring some frivolity and colour to the occasion and to show up the main attraction as the "Triumph Of The Will" redux it was rapidly turning into.

But that's enough from me on this matter. Now it's your turn as it's time for our topical


I really don't like the caption the BBC have shoved on the bottom of this photo of two Anglican (therefore, not real) bishops attending this morning's shindig in Birmingham. I just know you lot can do so much better. Off you go them...

An extra 200 days off purgatory for the first person who works a "putting on condom" reference into their suggested caption.


JESUS WEPT — 20 Comments

  1. You are back — yay!!

    caption – I say Scott-Joynt – do you think we could find a pair of those shoes somewhere in London?

  2. “Wearing protection whilst being blessed by Papa seemed excessive until the time came for the happy ending.”

    And that’s that then. I’m going straight to hell.

    Yes, the picture of the ABC and Benny is shudder inducing, but from a technical point of view, brilliant in its use of light, shadow and color.

    Mad One! Welcome back! I was missing you so much, I was about to write a poem, and nobody needs to read that.

  3. Your idea of cutting out a piece at the top of our condom suit is a real life saver

    Yes. But a crying shame for the gay priests of Winchester Diocese.

  4. Actually surprised +Winchester’s wearing a body condom. He’s one of the CofE bishops who might ENJOY trip! }-X

    [SO glad you’re back, MP. Just in time!]

  5. Are you people still obsessed with these people? Don’t you have anything better to do with your time and money than obsess over “the competition”?

  6. Well you are obsessed with us, arsehole. Don’t you have anything better to do with your time?

    Sorry. Of course you don’t. Your life is a complete waste of time, you poor sod.

  7. Susan, I noticed that as well. The designer was a size queen and the decor has the reservoir tip!

    Plus this photo of BenE16 in the chair with his arms raised reminds me of Woody Harrelson’s crazy character’s line in the movie 2012. The Yellowstone Caldera is close to erupting and wiping out North America as we know it when suddenly all the birds take off. Woody’s character sees them lift off and says in an insane voice, “Fly birdies, fly!”

  8. Jesus’s obsession with the excesses of religious leaders proved to be unhealthy, so perhaps Anon has a point.

  9. I guess there always will be an England(*). I refer, of course, to the “He’s a very naughty boy” sign.

    (*) Not that it was in doubt.

    But I don’t understand, from over here, why the two pictures are scary. The first, sure. But in the second, Her Ladyship seems rather disapproving. Which makes it perhaps the most appealing picture of her that I’ve seen.

  10. The CoE bishop’s did their part to demonstrate proper prophylactic coverage for the visiting bishop of Rome…you can never be too prepared…