FROM ELLIE FINLAY

I want to mention that another young person over here has committed suicide as a result of having been bullied. I offered a BRIEF POST about it on one of my blogs.

While reflecting on this horrible state of affairs, I was aware in a very focused way of how I have been subjected to bullying myself. But I realized, chillingly, that I was never bullied in school and I was never bullied in the secular workplace. The only place I've ever been bullied has been in the Church.

Something's wrong, dear sisters and brothers in Christ. Something is very, very wrong.

Comments

FROM ELLIE FINLAY — 7 Comments

  1. Yesss! Ellie, you hit the nail on the head! After many workplaces, I saw and was subjected to unbelievable and illegal harrassment in a church job – not in a secular job – ever! Actually, in two church jobs…..no holds barred in the holy of holies!
    Power goes to heir heads, I think.

    Nij

  2. There’s a certain belief in exceptionalism in operation, I think, Nij.

    By the way, in the comment that MP posted here, I meant to refer not only to myself but to others. i’ve heard many stories – about bullying in the church – from people who come to talk to me that would curdle your blood.

  3. I don’t know, Jonathan – you wouldn’t say that the teachers bullied you in school?

    Bullying doesn’t have to come from other kids, after all.

    I was bullied in school. But even though my dad had 3 shotguns, and I knew how to pack his shells for him, and those shotguns were never locked away from me but instead simply sat on a rack on the wall, I never had any urge to take them to school and blow anyone away with them.

    Dad didn’t lock them up because he saw to it that I was respectful of firearms. He told me if I ever wanted to learn to shoot, he’d take me to the rifle range and we’d get me lessons. I never took him up on it, but I knew the offer always stood.

    Bullying just damn well sucks.

  4. A further thought on this:

    I went over to Ellie’s post and read it. It’s heartbreaking.

    But after my own experience with bullying, and listening to the stories of Joe and my mother (who were also bullied in school), it seems to me the thing to do to truly stop the bullying is to fight back.

    That’s not going to win me a lot of brownie points, but Mom and Joe fought back against their bullies. My mother told me that her brother said to her “look, I can’t be around you all the time to protect you, so you’ve got to stand up for yourself” and until she beat the tar out of the leader of the other girls who were bullying her, it did not stop.

    Same with Joe. He was bullied in his school out in Arizona for being poor and showing up to school in hand-me-down clothes. But he turned into a real psychotically violent S.O.B. when someone made the mistake of throwing the first punch. He quickly gained a reputation of being an absolute madman, at which point the other kids left him the hell alone, which is what he wanted.

    Me? I never, ever struck back – and the bullying continued. People learned that I could be pushed around, and they took advantage of this. A lot.

    And with a zero-tolerance policy towards fighting in school, this opens up the opportunity for the thugs and bullies to make the academic careers of the more studious kids suffer. They don’t care if they get suspended. They don’t care if their grades suffer for being out of school all the time.

    But the brainy kids – they get suspended too for fighting, even if they were wrongly attacked. And by missing a lot of school, their grades suffer too. But they care about it. So if their grades plummet because of this bullying, how can they get into the colleges they want to go to? It’s nuts.

    So, it seems really crazy, but I do advocate fighting back. Beat the snot out of someone who bullies you. It’s the only language they will understand, and until someone does this, they will not stop the bullying.

  5. That can certainly work, T.L., if the bullying is physical. If it’s psychological, however, not so much.

    I’m actually not advocating a zero-tolerance policy for fighting but rather for bullying. There’s a difference.

  6. Yes, and if you get bullied by your boss at work, what do you do? Who do you take it to, if a blind eye is already turned to the way your boss behaves? You can’t beat up your boss.

    wv – beatin!!

    I swear there’s a little man in the server somewhere who is listening.

  7. Very sad…My daughter was bullied in Middle School. She complained to the teachers, I complained…the more we complained the worse it got…the teachers were as bad as the kids. I finally pulled her out, she did independent study for 3 years..
    Like Madpriest, the only place I have been bullied is the church..