In the early hours of Tuesday morning, during the House of Bishops meeting in York, a naked woman guest triggered a fire alarm at the Park Inn in York. There were about 50 bishops staying at the hotel at the time and they had to evacuate the hotel when the fire alarm went off.

“The alarm seems to have been triggered when two young ladies, who were pickled, came back late at night. One of the two ladies was naked, and one of the bishops had to take his dressing gown off to cover her naked ness. I think the other woman was also trying to take her clothes off, too, but she was stopped in time," reported he Bishop of Wakefield, the Rt Revd Stephen Platten

The Bishop of Worcester, Dr John Inge, said: “It would be a good ethical test on a board game to ask what you do if you are a bishop and you open the door to find a naked lady outside. I think that throwing your dressing gown out passes the test.”

COMMENT: His test, maybe. Whether it would pass the JCF test is an entirely different matter and I have a sneaking suspicion it most definitely wouldn't.

"Is that a crozier in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

Thanks to Ann Fontaine for sending this report in to MadPriest Towers. Ann doesn't say if she was one of the ladies involved in the incident or not. And that's close enough for me to start a scurrilous rumour. Pass it round!



  1. Regretably, I left my “crozier” in my sock drawer…

    [wv, “lasivi”, as in us! ;-p]

  2. I heard that Ann tossed the dressing gown aside and said, “Take a gander at these canons!” However, my sources are less than reliable.

  3. One of the two ladies was naked, and one of the bishops had to take his dressing gown off to cover her naked ness.

    And then the bishop was naked? Good heavens! Give the bishop back his dressing gown, please!

  4. Pass the brain bleach, please. (Mimi, I had the same thought.) I would rather have women in deshabille than bishops, thank you all the same.

  5. KJ, when I shocked Mad Priest a couple of days ago, I got four exclamation marks, so since you only got three tonight, does that mean I win??…

    Re this incident, I’ve been pickled plenty of times, and I’ve still not felt the impulse to take off all my gear. It seems to me therefore that if both women are trying to take off their clothes, they could only have had one thing in mind, and it most definitely would not involve a bishop. The passing over of the dressing gown was in other words only going to prove a hindrance. Unless he was hoping they might ask him to assist. Which it seems they didn’t.

  6. PS Mimi and Paul, maybe I’m an innocent, but I automatically pictured the bishop sans dressing gown in blue and white striped flannelette pyjamas.

  7. Cathy, you have to understand that Mimi and Paul are both from the Southern States of America and therefore have filthy minds.

  8. Perhaps they wanted a full immersion baptism but didn’t want to get their party dresses wet.

    Well, if I had a quid for every time this had happened to me…

  9. No, I’ve checked. New Mexico is further south even than York. You’re as crap at Geography as Dah-veed down in Central America.

  10. I cannot believe you lot took my use of the word “innocent” straightforwardly.

    I demand my money back.

  11. Oh, but Cathy, you don’t know what Mimi’s has got up to. I’d tell you, but I cannot break the seal of the confessional.

  12. I’d tell you, but I cannot break the seal of the confessional.

    I’m guessing it involved hot wax then?? …

  13. See! See!

    An ethical “test?!” That’s a test? Really?

    You heterosexuals find it soooo difficult to control yourselves. You really shouldn’t be allowed to hold office, teach, or be ministers of the church.

  14. Mimi was being gracious in letting you get off with saying that New Mexico is in the south. It is not. The south is much different from the Southwest. They are not at all alike. For example, in the Southwest we eat Mexican food and drink beer. In the south they eat things they find in swamps and drink mint juleps. That’s just an example. There are many, many other differences.

    I am glad to have been able to assist you. If I can provide additional information, or be of further assistance please do not hesitate to call on me.

  15. Mad Priest, according to what you said to Mimi earlier, if I understood you rightly, you consider everything south of York to be in the Deep South. That puts me in the Deep South, and indeed everyone on OCICIBW except yourself and your good missus.

  16. No, Cathy. I used York as an example of extreme southernness. In Newcastle, the definition of “south” (and also the definition of “foreign” and “enemy”) is anything south of the Tyne.

  17. Things to the left while facing north are in the West. They may be Southwest (where Paul is) or Northwest, but they are most certainly West not South. Mimi is South; I am South. Texas fought with the South in the past “unpleasantness,” but they are not really in the South either. They are really their own country. If you are not from Texas, forget that last part to your own peril. Does that clear things up? What this may or may not have to do with naked Bishops, I have no idea.

  18. Look, you lot, the English mapped the world while the rest of you were still crayoning pictures of your house with mummy standing outside. So, if an Englishman states that you are south, you are south. It’s not rocket science. Anything south of Cornwall is the South. Anything north of Berwick on Tweed is the North. Anything west of Holyhead is the West and anything east of Felixstowe is the East. Don’t forget, when God drew the Greenwich Meridian on the planet he drew it so it went straight through the middle of Greenwich – not Albuquerque or Alice Springs. So it’s obvious he wanted everyone else to fit in with us on this geography thing.

  19. It has nothing to do with naked bishops, BooCat, and everything to do with Mimi being unable to accept the fact that she’s not English like me. I don’t know why it bothers her so much. It’s not as shameful to be foreign nowadays as it used to be. Even the English accept that there are some reasonably interesting foreigners around (we like that Obama man, for example, and he’s even a different colour to us). But you are who you are. I’d like to have been born into the Royal Family but it wasn’t to be. But you don’t hear me going on about how I live further south than Edinburgh, do you?

  20. Then start behaving like you’re English, woman!

    Here’s a test to see if you’re ready.

    Where is Mexico – North America or Central America?

  21. “So it’s obvious he wanted everyone else to fit in with us on this geography thing.”

    That is likely true, but it is interesting to note that god chose to make the Pacific Northwest the center of spoken English by which all other dialects must be judged, seeing that he chose to give everybody else an accent, but not us. God truly works in mysterious ways.

    (My word verifications is “miterpee.” Maybe that’s what we should call it when a bishop has a bad idea.)

  22. I had to tease Joe about being from the South, as he is from Phoenix, AZ.

    He said, “Look, 80% of the EFFING WORLD is south of Cornwall – along with anywhere that is even REMOTELY pleasant to live!”

    LOL hahahahahaha!!!!