WHERE DOES HE FIND THEM?

I usually steer clear of choosing Australian records for
this ongoing series which highlights the most cringeworthy
records that the human race has ever been subjected to.
The reason for this is that it would be too damn easy. A
good 90% of Australian records would qualify and we
would all get fed up eventually. Therefore, you will guess
that for today's choice, which is from down under, to have
been chosen it must be particularly awful. And you would
be right.
Slim Dusty was Australia's greatest Country and Western
singer who, in his long career at the top, never once made
a record that a human being, without profound hearing
problems, could listen to without wanting to end it all as
quickly as possible. This record is not by Slim Dusty (no,
that would be painful but not painful enough for you lot).
This is, in fact, a tribute to Slim Dusty.
Now look. I have given enough warning in this spiel to
put any reasonably sensible person off clicking on PLAY.
So, on your own head be it if you decide to proceed.
However, OCICBW... has always tried to reward the
foolhardy because they make life more interesting for
the rest of us. So, 500 days off purgatory, for you
(unlikely), or your next of kin (very likely) if you manage
to get all the way through it. And may the usual gods have
the usual mercy on your weird and unusual soul.

Comments

WHERE DOES HE FIND THEM? — 17 Comments

  1. Don’t worry Cathy, Boaz, Alcibiades: Crazy Arse is just going through an Aussie-bashing phase.

    Pretty soon, he’ll find some tuneless “God sez Merka iz teh Gratest Nashun Evur!” song, and he’ll return to his usual USA-bashing ways…

  2. But, but, but…
    three times the words of the song say let’s all remember Slim Dusty until we all meet her again.

    How could Slim Dusty be the King of Country Music.

    I am soooo confused. Help me JCF.

  3. I fully expect my Australian friends to agree with my assessment of their homeland’s musical prowess. And the 10% that isn’t complete dross is rather good.

  4. I feel the listening experience here would be improved with the addition of the didgeridoo and a wobble board. I tried out a few bars on my own didgeridoo while the music was playing and the effect was rather pleasing, if I say so myself.

    wv – wombet! Could that be more appropriate! Wombets, such cute critters.

  5. Are they smaller than wombats, Cathy?
    I totally agree with you, Dear MadPriest.
    You did say it was totally disgusting, didn’t you?

  6. One of the dogs started to howl whilst this was playing. I think the dog deserves the 500 days off of purgatory.

  7. Please forgive me, JCF, but I don’t see how “Merka” has much of anything in the way of competition that could possibly top that for just plain bad. That, I hope you realize, is really saying a lot.

  8. It’s bad alright. Veeeeery bad. But in a way, quite sweet. The old bloke certainly loved his Slim and he’s looking forward to meeting him, er…gen.

    But will Slim be likewise pleased? I don’t think so.

    I think the intro samples too-rall, li-oo-rall, li-ad-di-ty which is a nice touch.

  9. Are they smaller than wombats, Cathy?

    Now you mention it Susan, a wombet probably is smaller than a wombat, and I guess a wombette would be the female of the species.

  10. Are they smaller than wombats, Cathy?

    Now that you mention it, Susan, I think a wombet is smaller than a wombat, and I guess a wombette would be the female of the species.

    I agree with Boaz, you can never have too many references to too-rall li-oo-rall li-ad-di-ty.

  11. Aside from that fact that there isn’t much of a tune, the rhythm fails periodically, and the singer can’t sing, what’s the problem? We folks here in the (former) colonies now seem to feel that actual talent and ability are liabilities to success.

    How else can we explain GW, Sarah Palin, Bart Stupack, et.al.?

  12. OK, that was bad. Not OFFENSIVELY bad, like some of the unmentionables you’ve come up with, just sort of heartwarmingly badly sung by an off-key old coot who really liked Slim Dusty. Doesn’t deserve feeding to the wombets.

  13. All this afternoon at work I have been singing “so we’re bou-ound for Bo-tan-neee Bay” to my workmates. They quite reasonably demanded an explanation (adding that they didn’t really want to go there, thanks very much). I blame Boaz. And MP.