On Friday nights, gay Catholics from across Sydney attend St Joseph's in Newtown. Like all Catholics, they take Communion during mass and tea after it. They have done so for years, with the quiet support of the deeply conservative Archbishop of Sydney, Cardinal George Pell.

But this week St Joseph's gay ministry was threatened by a Catholic group set up on Facebook who vowed to stop its ''sacrilegious gay masses''. Last night the group protested at the church, bringing attention to this small forum of compromise forged between the doctrine that condemns homosexuals' sex lives and the faith they love.

St Joseph's priest, Father Peter Maher, said ''there is nothing in the Catholic faith that says gays and lesbians don't have rights to take communion''.

From Catholic Forum:

COMMENT: I am, to put it mildly, extremely worried. There is only so much one can do with a pair of lips in the kissing department. Over the last 25 years Mrs MadPriest and myself have done quite a bit of kissing. My great concern is that we might have inadvertently engaged in a homosexual kiss and, therefore, be condemned to an eternity being frazzled in the fires of hell.

So, please, could somebody tell me what a homosexual kiss is exactly? Then I can avoid doing it at all costs. I will also be able to instruct the church wardens at my church to keep a watch at our services to make sure there is none of this vile practice going on under our righteous noses. We must act now or, before too long, there will be homosexual cuddling in our pews and all the married couples in our churches will get divorced and kill their children.



  1. Streuth! Pass me a cold one, Shiela! There are gays in Australia! Tie me kangaroo down, sport, and tan me hide ’til I’m dead, Fred.

    (Apologies to Rolf Harris)

  2. Yes, SR. All Australians are descended from criminals. Homosexuality is against natural law. Therefore, all Australians are gay. Except for those who have been rescued from their perversions by the blood of Jesus.

  3. SR. If by ‘gay’ you mean homosexualists then no there are no such people here in Australia. The facebook group are confused. Yes there are some happy types (very gaya) and
    boy do they get excited at mass. At the greeting of peace you will see young kissing old, boy and girl, even man kissing man and woman kissing woman. Yes and pasionately too! This is all normal here in Newtown, Sydney.

    What I personally don’t like is the way some people attempt to drink from their tea cup and eat a biscuit while speaking
    to me in the hall after mass, but then I’m old fashioned. Cardinal Pell should really do something about that because it is really out of hand.

  4. some people attempt to drink from their tea cup and eat a biscuit while speaking

    Ah! I hope now you all will see why we had to deport them a long way away in the first place.

  5. Saintly Ramblings, I’m sure you must owe someone an apology of some kind, but I don’t think you owe one to Rolf Harris. Unless you have actually tied his kangaroo down? … It might not like that, you know.
    Also, I am sure Cardinal Pell preached a sermon against this practice last week.

    MP, it is in one sense logical to say that all Australians are descended from criminals, since all Australians are descended from the English, and all English people are criminals. However the sunny weather and blue skies Down Under has encouraged all us Aussies to adopt virtuously cheerful attitudes and love our fellow man, which is why we can now claim moral superiority to the English, and beat you at sport. Why the Cardinal has got upset over the loving our fellow man bit, I do not know. Boaz is right – it is not homosexualist in the least, just the sort of enthusiastic all-inclusive friendliness for which Australians are rightly famous.

    As for homosexual kissing, perhaps you and Mrs MP should give a display of it next week in church, in order to educate the congregation as to what it looks like? …

    PS can’t believe you missed a chance to say “Cardinal Smell”. Very disappointing start to the day there.

  6. . . . all the married couples in our churches will get divorced and kill their children.

    Maybe if some of them killed the children first there’d be less incentive to go for the divorce.

  7. I am much more concerned with circular attendance, and how to avoid it. God clearly insists only on rectangular attendance in 1 Geometry.

  8. Seems to me it’s the biscuits that cause “circular parishioners” (at least they contribute greatly to my own circular-ness). It is only a matter of time before every parish worldwide will be populated by the circular. Something really must be done!

    A Deacon’s Wife

  9. Let me assure you, Mad One, you and Mrs. Mad Priest have not engaged in a homosexual kiss…. Well, at least not with each other.

    There’s nothing to be said about the creators of the Facebook group as they condemn themselves with their own words. Can one truly understand the Lenten journey to Holy Week while motivated by fear and hate?

  10. KJ there was indeed a lot of hate & fear associated with the events commemorated with Holy Week. Someone has to play the mob.

    If I remember correctly some of HRM’s colonies in the Americas were also penal colonies, right?

  11. Yeah, Dahveed: HRMs Ferdinand & Isabella set one up in Mexico! [See, we can’t let the Aussies and Pommies have all the fun now, can we, Cholo? ;-p]

    I suggest “Acceptance” exchange Big Gay Kisses o’ the Peace w/ the Wingnuts outside (“reparating”). That’ll drive the wankers off, fer shur!

  12. From what I’ve seen, our churches could all use a bit more sincere kissing when worshipping, be it gay, straight, or some hybrid of the two!

  13. Yes. But nobody has actually told me how gay people kiss that is markedly different to and more sinful than the way straight people kiss. It’s like it’s a secret that gay people are sworn not to reveal. Even the normally chatty KJ is being very “tight lipped” about it.

  14. No we don’t, Tom. The next thing will be that the blighters will link hands and start doing the Okey Cokey. I’ve seen it happen hundreds of times. You just can’t trust people – especially not on matters of religion.