NEW HOPE FOR CESSATION OFDENOMINATIONAL BLOODSHED

I expect all of you were sickened to the very pits of your stomachs after reading MY BIG SCOOP yesterday concerning the ongoing gang warfare between Mennonites and Quakers in the United States. I know I was.

Well, I'm glad to say I have some good news. This headline from THE DARLINGTON AND STOCKTON TIMES was picked up on my newsreader earlier today:

I think this proves, beyond doubt, that Quakers are much nicer people than those ne'erdowell, taser happy, Mennonites and, of course, they also make excellent porridge.

Comments

NEW HOPE FOR CESSATION OFDENOMINATIONAL BLOODSHED — 14 Comments

  1. Not a patch on Scott’s porage – they do no such heresies as OatSoSimple flavoured with Golden Syrup!!!!
    (The horror, the horror!)

  2. Is there truly no end to your reach MP? That is my local paper and it rarely reports anything of more import than ‘Leaf falls from tree in Hutton Rudby: left wing homosexual muslim benefit scroungers suspected’

  3. I have lived in areas of Iowa that include significant Quaker and Mennonite populations. They are lovely, peaceful people. I have given them your address, MP, so I suggest you keep your porch light on and peek out the window regularly.

  4. MP, this is about something really important – not peace but footie (soccer, folks…). We’ll miss Darlo. Revenge? Bottom of the league, and going down…