WHEN DEACONS GO CRAZY

From NEWS CHANNEL 3:

NewsChannel 3 has uncovered an arrest warrant accusing a church deacon of raising a knife against a fellow church member.

Deacon Hurley Jones of Wesley Grove United Church of Christ is accused of pulling a knife out and threatening another deacon.

Deacon Isaiah Smith, Jr. says a disagreement over the church parking lot escalated into an attempted assault at a church meeting.

"Oh no, you don't mess with Hurley Jones and pulled his knife out and he raised it above the head."

It's behavior that seems to be out of line with the scripture on the church marquee which reads, 'on the pathway to pleasing God'.

Comments

WHEN DEACONS GO CRAZY — 7 Comments

  1. Well, we’re all on the pathway, not quite there, and fall off from time-to-time. However, scripture and God aside, this doesn’t seem very UCC-like. Are we sure they aren’t Baptists?

    There! In my mind I’ve made them Baptists and can now get on with the rest of my day.

  2. Raising a knife?!

    I prefer poison when I’m dealing with fellow parishioners – it’s much quieter. Of course, in emergency situations, it is handing to have a few throwing knives hidden in the sleeves of my cassock, but, still, you don’t want to let them see where the blade is coming from. That’s just sloppy.

  3. Deacon Smith tried to park his new wheels
    Without asking Deacon Jones how he feels
    “Move that shit heap” Jones calls,
    “Or I’ll knife off your balls”
    Fine stuff, as a holy bell peels.