WHERE DOES HE FIND THEM?

It does embarrass me that most of the records I post under this series come out of the USA. This is not blog policy. It’s just that Americans are just so very good at making crap records.

But, good news! I have found some English pretenders to the throne who are certainly going to give the US acts a run for their money. I cannot begin to describe the awfulness of this group, and most especially their lyrics, unless somebody can come come up with a word to describe a level lower than the absolute pits.

This recording is what happens when some fool gives a pretentious, combined honours undergrad, with the IQ of a dead pheasant a CD by The Fall for Christmas.

Okay, here’s the deal. 500 days off purgatory for getting all the way through it without cheating. And I’ll double that if you actually listen to the lyrics. This will be very difficult because survival mechanisms in your brains will automatically kick in to block them out. You will probably find yourself having pleasant thoughts about root canal surgery rather than paying attention to this complete pile of s…e.

I’ll be praying for you.

Comments

WHERE DOES HE FIND THEM? — 14 Comments

  1. This recording is what happens when some fool gives a pretentious, combined honours undergrad, with the IQ of a dead pheasant a CD by The Fall for Christmas.

    LOL… excellent

    Where’s the vote thingie so we can vote. I want to vote this The Pits without actually having listened to it.

  2. MP, I will trust your instincts on this one and agree that they are the absolute akinola! (I believe that IS lower than The Pits)

  3. Lyrics? I listened. What lyrics? All I hear is “from Montenegro to Sarajevo something something something if I am able something uh uh uh uh (repeat ad nauseum) something something people something thunder … What? I want my 500 days and I want them now!

  4. There were actual words in those lyrics? I will take the 500 off, but I will leave the 1000 to others with less of a survival instinct than me.

  5. Wow.

    The worst. Ever.

    Pretentious. Boring. Amateur. Dull. Ridiculous. And really, really bad. Probably worse live.

    And how is it possible for anyone to write lyrics that stupid and still not be funny?

    Keep your 500 days off Purgatory – can I please have my 5 minutes 7 51 seconds back?

  6. What lyrics? Lyrics normally are part of a song or some sort of music and i don’t hear any music here. But then I only made it thru 1:58 which is how long it took me to type this.

  7. Nup. I bailed. The tempo picked up a bit which filled me with a kind of false hope at 1.16 but the lyrics become less comprehensible (if that’s possible). Out at 2.06.
    Thanks but I’ll pass on these 500 days. I mean, how bad can purgatory be?

  8. Oh Boaz – you missed the epic pseudo-choral section near the end. But still – you have the right idea. Purgatory is a stroll in the park compared with this.

  9. Nope. Couldn’t do it. See the rest of you with good taste and low tolerance for pain, psychological or otherwise, in Purgatory.

  10. They are the absolute akinola! (I believe that IS lower than The Pits)

    renzmqt, bang on the money as ever, you’re so right