And it's a good one!

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says, "Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once!!?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking!!"



  1. Oh, don’t encourage her, Lois. If it wasn’t for all the good stuff she does for people she’d already have her name down for Hell. She’s a wicked woman!

  2. Is that so, MadPriest? 🙂

    We have a saying over here; it’s probably over there as well: “Takes one to know one!”

    And, of COURSE, I mean that in the best way possible.

  3. Erm? I think you’ll find, Ellie Finlay, that the most risque jokes posted at OCICBW… have mostly come from a certain solitary I know. Of course, I get lots of jokes sent in by other people that I can’t publish. So you have obviously got “just getting away with it” down to a fine art.

  4. Ah, I imagine so, MP. I, being a gay male, get to compliment women without any expectation of shagging. It take huge pressure of.